'Twas the Night Before Solstice/Christmas — Pop Culture Family Version

Note: Yes, I realize it is after the winter solstice and almost the night before Christmas. But I prefer the solstice. So substitute it for Christmas in your own heads, if you must.

'Twas the night before Solstice in the Pop Culture House,
and Mama's still shopping with the click of a mouse.
The stockings are still in the storage all boxed;
The only house without lights for three blocks.
The kiddos were avoiding going along to their beds,
Throwing popcorn around, putting food on their heads.
The hubs with his coffee, and I with my wine
were handling all of the chaos just fine.

From the front of our house, went a crash and a bang
I was sure that the girls had broken something.
I ran to the study to issue my wrath,
I'm sure I looked crazy as I let out a gasp.
Right there on our porch and blocking the doors
were dozens of boxes from our favorite stores
"What the heck did you order?????" asked Pop Culture Dad,
Sounding a bit more amused than was mad.
But who was our Secret Santa this night?
I looked for a delivery truck, no FedEx in sight.
And no UPS or U.S. Postal Service.
The silent cul-de-sac was making me nervous.

"There's Amazon and Target and Ulta and Frye's
and Banana Republic and even Best Buy!
Wait! Barnes & Noble and Carter's and Macy's!
And Baby Naarjtie! Honey, this is crazy!"
My poor husband apprised me with a rise of the brow
I had to think of an explanation, like, NOW.
"Sweetie, I swear. I did not buy all this!
Did you check the slips? Surely these are gifts.
I've been curbing my shopping—the recession, you know.
I only got gifts for our friends and my bro...
Oh! And our parents... and... your fam... and the girls."
My face went crestfallen as my story unfurled.
"Okay, so maybe I have a slight shopping problem;
But there's no way I'd bought this and then just forgotten!"
My love raised his eyebrows and gave me "the look"
Until he noticed that one box was a Nook.
"Is that a tablet for me?", he asked looking smug.
"Dunno. Check the box." I said, giving a shrug.
He tore open a box, looked for the packing slips,
then a saw a sly smile appear on his lips.
"Never mind. Carry on!", he said looking suspicious.
It was at this point, he began piquing my interests.
I tore open a box to determine who sent them.
Now it was my turn to start questioning him.
I wasn't going crazy and oddly I was glad
that half of the gifts were from Pop Culture Dad!
I'm not the only big shopper in our awesome pair.
In fact, I would argue that he lapped me this year.

I threw my arms 'round my handsome hubby' neck,
got up on my tiptoes and gave him a peck.
"I love that we sometimes are of one mind.
Now stop teasing me! My shopping's just fine!"

Sometimes you know when your partner's just right.
Happy holidays to all, and to all a good night!


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How I Met Your Mother — The Last Page

SPOILER ALERT: Honestly, this should go without saying. The episode aired four days ago. If you have not watched it yet, but are clicking on links to anything discussing that episode, then you kinda asked to be spoiled, did you not? But in the interest of not having to moderate a ton of "OMG! I can't believe you soiled it without warning us!" comments, here is your obligatory spoiler alert.

Show of hands: Who's still crying happy tears thinking about this episode?

Monday night's How I Met Your Mother—the greatest moment in HIMYM history or the greatest proposal on television of all time? Discuss amongst yourselves. I am not here for a recap. That has already been done beautifully in a plethora of other places [a side-effect of my originally-written post from Tuesday morning being deleted by my iPad app... But that's another story for another day....]. I'm going right to the meat and potatoes: the proposal.



Look, we all knew it was going to happen. The season opened with Robin and Barney's wedding day. We knew a proposal was going to happen and it was going to have to happen soon. I will admit, however, the Patrice thing threw me off. I had just assumed that the Patrice relationship would drag out and that Robin and Barney would somehow plan a quick trip down the aisle shortly after Barney cured whatever illness made him go after Patrice. Pop Culture Dad is more perceptive than me, however. As I mentioned Monday night on the Facebook page, he totally called the ending halfway into the show. Okay, okay, he didn't predict the whole thing. Even he is not that good.

Seriously, Thomas and Bays deserve Emmys for the carefully-crafted season that led up to this amazing proposal [and, while we're at it, let's throw in some nominations for Smulders and my secret BF Harris, too, m'kay?]. Just look at all the pieces that went into "The Robin" and think about how this entire maddening season was worked to lead to this one moment. And while you're at it, think about how the relationships of the characters have been built from Day One to make this even remotely plausible.

"The Robin" — The Last Play Barney Will Ever Need (Awwwww....)

• Step 1: Admit to yourself you still have feelings for this girl: “I am hopelessly, irretrievably in love with her. More than she knows.”
{sigh....}

• Step 2: Choose the completely wrong moment to make a drunken move after hanging out at a strip club. And get shot down on purpose.

• Step 3: Agree that you two don’t work, locking the door on any future you could have together, “I’m done trying to get you. I can’t do it anymore,” which will drive Robin nuts.

• Step 4: Robin goes nuts.

• Step 5: Find the person who annoys Robin most in the world and ask for her help. Explain everything to Patrice and hope she agrees to help.
{totally didn't see that coming}


• Step 6: Check with your doctor about possible broken ribs. [insert visual of Patrice squeezing the life out of poor Barnacle]

• Step 7: Pretend to be dating Patrice.
{it all makes sense now}

• Step 8: Wait until Robin inevitably breaks into your place to find The Playbook and show it to Patrice, which you’ll monitor via the hidden cameras you have in your apartment.

• Step 9: After Patrice finds The Playbook, have your first big fight.
{This was pretty funny, watching Barney and Patrice on the balcony looking and gesturing like they were angry, but actually saying things like, "Thank you so much for helping me!}

• Step 10: Prove your loyalty to Patrice by burning The Playbook. And actually burn it. You don’t need it anymore.
{I started tearing up just a little bit here}

• Step 11: Because your friends have no boundaries, they’ll inevitably have an intervention for Robin, which you’ll monitor via the hidden cameras you have in Marshall and Lily’s apartment.
{The perfect representation of how well these friends all know each other}

• Step 12: Tell only Ted about your plan to propose to Patrice.

• Step 13: Wait and see if Ted tells Robin, and if he does, it means your best bro in the world has let go of Robin and has given you his blessing.
{And... Cue more tears. Think about this. Really think about it. It speaks volumes to the relationship between Ted and Barney. Without Ted's blessing, none of this was moving forward. And Barney loves Ted so much that he was willing to leave the whole thing in his hands. This, to me, is almost better than the relationship between Barney and Robin, which I love}

• Step 14: Robin arrives at her favorite spot in the city and finds the secret final page of The Playbook, the last play you’ll ever run.
{and more tears...}

• Step 15: Robin realizes she’s standing underneath mistletoe.



Now, of course, we reach the part where Robin is understandably peeved at the level to which Barney tricked her, until he implores her to flip the page over and read the last step...

• Step 16: Hope she says yes. [As Robin lowers the page, there is Barney with the ring on blended knee]

{Game OVER, folks! Even my hubby, a former fan who has made fun of this show for the last season, couldn't hold it together any more. With tears in his eyes, Pop Culture Dad said to me, "Well... That was pretty moving."}

Huffington Post has a video of the proposal (but not the voiceover of Barney reading the steps) here.

This episode got me thinking about my own proposal this morning. There was once a reality show following men around as they were about to propose, which proclaimed that while the wedding is the most important day of the bride's life, the proposal is the most important day of the groom's. That certainly has some truth to it (though I would argue that for couples who have children the births of their children are actually the most important days of both lives, but I digress...). I cannot imagine how stressful the proposal is for most men... you know, the ones who decide to do something monumental instead of just posting something on Twitter. And when the proposal hinges on everything just going right.... Sigh...

Poor Pop Culture Dad. While we both love my engagement story now, he was a total wreck at the time. We were already living together, and he had the engagement planned for a couple of months. He arranged to have lunch with my dad to ask for my hand, and that's when the first part of his plan went wrong... My dad has a big mouth. My dad called me at work an asked why in the world my boyfriend would want to go to lunch with him, were we trying to get married or something? Really, Daddy?? I remember muttering something to him like, "I don't think you were supposed to tell me about that." One of my friends and I tried to come up with other reasons my then-boyfriend may have arranged this secret meeting with my dad. My 30th birthday was coming up. Maybe this was related to my party. Maybe they were planning something bigger than the Hello Kitty and karaoke I had requested? I chose to go with that theory rather than get my hopes up.

Then the day Pop Culture Dad and my dad were supposed to meet, my aunt died. Not just any aunt, either (my mom had 15 siblings and my dad had four, obviously I can't be close to every single one). My godmother. My mom's best friend. The aunt who had lived with my mom and I, raising their two kids together as more like brother and sister than cousins, for much of my life. My mom was, understandably, a wreck. There was no way my dad was going to be anywhere other than beside her side [they've been divorced for three decades, but are still best friends]. Same with me. So those plans were off. And we had to leave for Louisiana the next day... The day my husband had planned to propose. And he had already had a plate made up to do the proposal.

So what did my dear husband do? Improvise, of course. Even though I was up until 3 a.m. Making funeral arrangements, consoling my mom, and packing for us to drive from Texas to Louisiana, he woke me up at 6 a.m. that morning. Groggy as I was, I still remember that conversation:
PCD: Wake up, honey! I brought you some coffee.
Me: I don't want any f---ing coffee. I want to sleep.
PCD: We have to go. And you need coffee.
Me: No. I need sleep.
PCD: Trust me. You really want this coffee.
Me: {finally suspecting something was going on an sitting up} Wha---?

And there was my proposal on a plate.... on a flower-filled tray... with the coffee I was too tired to want.




Obviously, nothing went as Pop Culture Dad scripted or planned. While the "god mother dying the day before the proposal" story might make an interesting twist for scripted television, it certainly isn't one you want in reality. I am told the originally planned proposal involved me coming home to a house filled with flowers. That would have been nice. But my actual proposal was nice too; because at the end of the day, what I had was the man I was madly in love with completely consumed with making sure that I knew exactly how much he was in love with me too. And isn't that all that matters?

Okie doke. Share some engagement stories. I don't think I've cried enough happy tears this week.

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App Review: Baby's Touch

Developer: Ironpaper
Platform: iPhone 3GS & higher, iPod Touch - 3rd generation and higher, iPad. iOS 5 required
Price: $0.99
Rating: ★★★★☆ (4 out of 5)


"This is so pointless... so mindless... so PERFECT!"

^^ That is what Pop Culture Dad said the first time he saw Pop Culture Toddler2 playing with Baby's Touch. His sentiment accurately reflects my feelings about it. So if the game is "perfect," why only four stars? Well, just because it is so pointless and mindless, that I have to reserve the one star for the main thing I usually look for in kids' apps—education.

Don't get me wrong, though. I love this app. PCT2 loves this app. Heck, even my four year old has entertained herself playing with it. Okay, okay, I'll confess. Even I have played it when the kids aren't around. It's just cute and fun.

For those who don't know me, I'm an app whore (pardon my French). I have a gazillion apps on my iPhone and iPad, and if any developer asks me if I want to play around with their app, my answer is always yes [well, almost. Don't send me any porn or religion apps, okay?]. A lot of these don't work out. Some of these come with a warning, "Do you really want me to review this? Because... uh... it's not gonna be good." (Notice there aren't a huge amount of reviews for apps I've been given? Yeah... There's a reason, unfortunately). So my expectations always start out low, especially when a developer warns me that it is just a simple game with no complexities at all. My, how he sold himself short!

The day after I downloaded the Baby Touch app, PCT2 became the first member of my family to fall victim to the nasty stomach virus going around the girls' daycare/preschool. She got sick on my way to bring them in, and, in a classic example of Murphy's Law, on a day where I had too many things going on at work to stay home. So I had to come up with ways to distract her in my office[1] until Pop Culture Dad could leave his office to pick her up while I furiously did research on Westlaw.

While PCT2 was busying herself tearing up my office, I thought "Hm.... Maybe this would be the perfect time to try out that new app?" It was. Witness:



As you can see, there is practically nothing to this game. She touches the screen, bubbles, rainbows, clouds or stars pop out with sounds and dings, she touches them, they disappear, and the process starts all over again. So simple. So mindless. And for a toddler? So. Freaking. PERFECT.

At least twice a day, PCT2 points to my iPad and says,"Bubble?". It is one of only two games she prefers to keep on rotation.

As I stated earlier, if there was any educational value to this game, I would consider it absolutely perfect from a mom's perspective. In any event, if you want something that is just awesome and entertaining for your baby or toddler, this is it.
____
[1] Door closed, because I'm not a jerk.

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PSA for the Day: Your Sick Kids

This morning I was getting Pop Culture Preschooler settled in at the breakfast table at school, and one of her little friends announced to the table, "I'm eating a lot, because I throwed up." I said something like, "Oh you got the stomach bug last week, too?". One of the teachers worriedly rushed over and asked the little girl when she was sick (I'm guessing because she hasn't missed a day of school?). The girl announced, "This morning. And my tummy still hurts."

Parents, this shit is not cute. It is not like, with the stomach virus creeping around the country and half the kids and teachers at the school out with the virus at one point or another over the last two weeks, you didn't know when you saw your kid vomit that it was probably something contagious and not just your bad cooking. My kids and hubby were all sick for an entire week because of the bug going around. I have friends all around the U.S. and Canada who have had their families infected with it. This virus is not fun, and, trust me, no one wants it.

This crap wouldn't spread so fast if when your kid throws up in the morning, you KEPT HIM/HER AT HOME. Do not bring them to school in the hope that if they don't throw up again, no one will know. If the school calls you and tells you your kid threw up PICK HIM/HER UP. Immediately. Do not let them finish out the rest of the day. I don't care what time it is. Every hour your sick kid is at school is another opportunity to infect other kids.

It isn't fair to spread a nasty virus to 30 other kids in the class, and subsequently their siblings and parents, just because you don't want to use up a couple of sick days. Yes, we all hate to miss work. But this is one case where misery should not love company. Don't be an asshole.

/rant


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