"I never ever show up on a set without my own foundation and powder. Never ever. I've been in this business for twenty years and you only need a couple of bad experiences to learn a lesson..." (reprinted with permission from Robinne Lee) 

All over Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, black women, celebrities and non-celebrities alike shared stories of makeup artists, hairstylists, and stores that treated our blackness—our black hair, our black skin—as an inconvenience. Like nearly every other brown woman of color in this country, I have been there before. This May, when I was browsing through Ulta, looking at aisle after aisle of "30 shades of beige and two of brown, but not YOUR brown" and "our colors only come in light, light/medium, and medium. 'MURICA!", the frustration was just too much for me. I tweeted the following, not really expecting anything to come of it [because nothing ever does]: 

Shopping for makeup is just depressing when you're a WOC. @ULTA_Beauty, why don't your stores in diverse areas carry diverse products? — Pop Culture Mom (@popculturemom) May 20, 2015

So imagine my surprise when Ulta actually responded:

@popculturemom hi there, we'd like to hear more about your experience in order to improve. Please email us the details at gethelp@ulta.com.

— ULTA Beauty (@ULTA_Beauty) May 21, 2015

So, I took this open invitation, and I ran with it. Below is the part of the very long e-mail I fired off to Ulta the next day: 

In response to your request to me on Twitter ..., here is the recurring problem I have in Ulta's stores ... :

As is evident by my signature line, I am a woman of color. Now, it's hard enough being a woman of color and trying to find makeup. Most brands, unless they are minority-owned, simply just don't make enough colors for women of color. So I'm not going to fault Ulta for not carrying more colors if the brand itself doesn't carry them. However, if a brand carries a more diverse line of makeup, I would expect that your stores—particularly those in diverse neighborhoods—would. I can't tell you the exact demographics for ... However, just looking at the schools zoned in the areas near this particular Ulta, this neighborhood is about 40% non-white. Looking around, I can tell you that there is a heavy population of black, Hispanic, Indian, Vietnamese, and Filipino. Although there are huge variations of colors within those communities, we tend to have a lot of tan-to-brown people. So I would expect that for brands that actually carry makeup in brownish colors, Ulta in our neighborhood would have them.

No, it doesn't. I have requested several times. I have been in the store when other customers have requested more colors (and have been told, sometimes mistakenly, that the brand doesn't carry them. I've looked online, this isn't true). I've even had people who work in the store complain to me that they can't find colors for themselves either. So, obviously, this is either a management or corporate problem. And, from what I can see on Ulta.com, this is a corporate problem.

Yesterday I was looking for Dermablend. From their color match system, I know that my concealer color is Cocoa. Looking at Ulta.com, "Cedar" and "Cocoa" (the only two brown concealers) are listed as "online only," which means none of your stores will carry this. Similarly, every brown color of Dermablend's Cover Creme except for the very darkest brown, which is a good 8 shades or so darker than the darkest beige you carry (which means you've missed pretty much every tan or brown woman who isn't extremely dark with red undertones—a description which actually matches exactly no one I know), is listed as online only. I looked for the color of Smashbox Photo Filter Powder Foundation that matches my tone per Smashbox's website. That, too, was available online only. You used to carry Iman (a brand for women of color) in stores. Now it's online only. The Smashbox Try It Kit: BB+Halo comes in a "Dark" variety, and Ulta doesn't even bother to carry that one online (but Birchbox does, and so does Amazon.com...).

Basically, everywhere I look in the Ultaverse for colors that might fit me, Ulta has deemed that these colors are "online only" and not fit for store shelves—if it carries them at all. While I love very much to shop online, the one thing I loathe buying online unless I absolutely have to is makeup (foundation and powder, at least). This is for obvious reasons. I mean, how do I know that a foundation or powder is going to actually work for my skin without trying it on? Is it really necessary to have space for 25 shades of beige but only 1 shade of brown (if any)? This is ridiculous and biased. It's also demoralizing. .... I shouldn't feel like a second-class citizen when simply trying to buy powder foundation.

I'm sure your response will be that these colors just don't sell and that's why you can't stock them in store, but how could they if, based on experience, women of color don't actually expect to find colors in your store? Honestly, I didn't even go looking for foundation/powder yesterday ..., since every time has been a disappointment. But I looked anyway, and, as expected, I was disappointed.

You may not realize this, but blacks have the most purchasing power of any single ethnic group in the United States. Combine us with Hispanics, Indians, and certain Eastern and Southeastern Asian groups, and are you really prepared to say that our purchasing power isn't worth a little bit of effort to make some room on your physical shelves to make our shopping experience more pleasant? I really like Ulta's branded products, but I can't continue this game of purchasing in store and then having to go home to complete my makeup purchases online. And I know a lot of other women who feel the same way.

In closing, I would like to add, I would greatly appreciate it if you took the time to give me a thoughtfully crafted response rather than a canned "Thanks for your input. We're looking into it." In addition to it being insulting to the intelligence, the fact is, you guys reached out to me after my small 140-character rant on Twitter. I obviously took the time to send you a detailed response of the problem, and I would appreciate some reciprocity.

Regards, [Pop Culture Mom]

Honestly, I really expected that all I might get out of this very long, soul-bearing e-mail was a bit of catharsis. So imagine my surprise when the next day, I received a voicemail from the Ulta corporate office.

Now, my phone number was never on the e-mail. However, I'm an Ulta rewards member (and, despite my difficulty finding makeup in-store, a platinum one at that), and the Ulta Guest Services Manager [shout out to Ron!] was able to get my phone number and purchase history from my account. The message let me know that my e-mail had been received and was being taken very seriously and let me know that I could expect a response after the Memorial Day holiday. I was also given a direct phone number in case I wanted to talk before I had gotten a complete response.

After the holiday, Ron and I touched base to schedule a call to discuss his findings in more detail. Honestly, even though Ulta corporate had reached out to me and was clearly making a concerted effort to keep the lines of communication open, I was not expecting much to come from the call. So when Ron started out by telling me that the various corporate heads he had spoken with to inquire as to why there weren't many products available in store for women of color had responded that they also didn't understand why that was the case in this day and age and saw it as a problem, I was shocked. But then when the blame shifted to the corporations manufacturing the makeup, my shock waned, and I expected another conversation reciting business as usual. But I shouldn't have, because Ron continued to surprise me.

Among other things, Ron explained to me that Ulta's old corporate model could not allow for stores to be diversified, and the result was that every single Ulta store carried what was basically the national average in terms of sales. So the Ulta store in, for example, Sandy, Utah carries exactly the same merchandise as the store in Atlanta, Georgia, even though the demographics of those cities are vastly different [Sandy, Utah is, by the way, 86% non-Hispanic white per Census data; Atlanta, on the other hand, is 36.3% non-Hispanic white and 54% black]. And because this nationwide data is collected based on a country where the vast majority of people are white and where non-white people (particularly those that are either darker than "honey beige" or don't have pink or blue undertones) don't actually expect for most cosmetic stores to service them, you can pretty much guess which way the data skews. [And, unless you're bathing in a sea of privilege, you can also see where the problem lies.] But Ulta is now in a position where it can customize its offerings by region. So in areas like mine where dark people of various ethnicities abound, come early 2016, we should expect to see more of our hues offered not just "online" but also in-store.

Ron also informed me that this "bigger and better" Ulta extends not only to their technology and inventory tracking but also to their ability to court more diverse brands and put some pressure on those brands who haven't caught up with the times to join the rest of us in the ultra-diverse 21st century. That pressure has apparently worked on some brands, and a few are now expanding their offerings to add several new shades. There were more details, more happiness to share about Ulta's coming changes to accommodate its customers of color. But the bottom line is that Ulta isn't just giving lip service; it clearly cares about customer satisfaction—all customers, not just the beige and pink-undertones ones. And as if all of these changes and all of this time spent meaningfully addressing my concerns wasn't enough, Ron also arranged for the Prestige Manager [since my purchase history is primarily of those cosmetics they consider their "Prestige brands"] at my local Ulta store to meet with me one on one and introduce me to some of their newer lines and colors that might work for me better. The P.M. totally hooked me up, and I have found a new foundation to love. Her name is Becca (one of Ulta's newer offerings), and, miracle of miracles, there are several shades of brown with various undertones available.

The sad fact is, beauty woes are just one source of the microagressions that daily confront people of color with white privilege in this country. It may not seem like a privilege to buy makeup, but when you're a person of color denied the simplicity of that experience that others feel, it is evidence what a loss of privilege it is for makeup purchases to become an ordeal. For anyone who would respond, "Well, then don't buy makeup" (ignoring the flippancy and ignorance of such a comment), the simple fact of the matter is that for many women, buying makeup isn't really an option. Yes, it would be great if we lived in a perfect world where sexism didn't make work life easier for women who wear at least natural looking makeup or if women were imbued with so much self-confidence that we didn't feel the need to wear makeup ever. But this isn't reality. Additionally, when we live in a world where models and actresses of color feel compelled to bring their own makeup kits to their jobs—a job necessity that is automatically provided for their paler skinned counterparts—or otherwise risk re-inviting the feelings of despair and embarrassment experienced after someone has half-heartedly attempted to do their hair or makeup without putting in any real effort to account for different skin tones or hair textures. It is absolutely galling that someone would think this is equal, fair, or trivial.

This world is diverse. This country is diverse. On most continents on this planet, you can find people ranging from the palest of pale beiges to the darkest of dark browns. There are many different hair types and shades. It shouldn't be asking too much for professionals be able to do their jobs for every person who might sit in their chairs, and not just the white ones. And it isn't "baiting" to require that stores selling beauty products be able to service the clientele present in the areas where they chose to setup shop.

Note: Ulta did not ask me to write this post, nor is this an advertisement for Ulta. However, I'd be lying if I said that, given their stated commitment to improve diversity, I'm not interested in ringing the bells and sounding the alarms that Ulta is a store women of color need to add to their rotation. I will always be of the firm belief that the same way we should buycott those brands who have absolutely zero interest in tolerance and diversity [I'm looking at you, Almay, Simply Aryan], we should similarly reward those who do.

I used to be the ultimate techno geek. If I didn't buy a product first, I darn sure knew about it before anyone in my circle. And then… life happened (I got one, I guess?). Kids happened. And then iPhone happened. 

This afternoon, Super Girl had an epic tantrum in the checkout line at the craft store. I got to the register and let the checkout girl know I had to put something back while she was ringing up. I then returned every craft SG had picked out. While she kept screaming over and over, "I want it!" with tears running down her face, I explained to her (over and over, it seemed) that the deal was she would get treats if she was good in the store. Throwing a temper tantrum is exactly one of the behaviors I told my girls would forfeit their goodies. 

Just when I was starting to feel like a failure, standing there at the cash register with this two-year old screaming at the top of the lungs, three women came up to me and told me "Good job!" for sticking to my guns and not rewarding bad behavior. Instantly, I felt better. 

It's easy to feel like a meanie or a bad mom when your kid melts down in public. The things is, though, eventually every kid will melt down [first person to tell me her kid has never melted down gets punched in the face]. And, though I might feel mean in the minute, rewarding my (then-)behaved child with crafts while the other looks on on jealousy, I just have to keep reminding myself that my "meanness" is toward a greater good—raising a child/tween/teen/adult who is not an ungrateful, spoiled asshole. 

I am so thankful for those ladies today who gave me reinforcement and reminded me that I was doing the right thing. And it also served as a good reminder to me that the next time I see a mom struggling but doing the right thing, to pay it forward by patting her on the back—whether I do that literally (as the first "Good job, Mom!" woman did to me today) or verbally. Because sometimes all you need is validation. 

Gee... Who woulda thought that this kid would act out? /s/

Have you seen the new Swiffer commercial?? The one with Zack Rukavina,the guy who lost his arm to cancer, and his beautiful multiracial family?? I almost cried tears of joy when I saw it this morning. We already have a Swiffer mop, but we will never buy generic refills again. More money to Swiffer and its wonderful ad team!!

When I decided to convert Super Girl's room from Care Bears to owls and giraffes a few months ago, I started snatching up every cute thing I could find that fit the theme and already existing colors. One of the first things I found was this adorable picture from Home Goods:

Note: Yes, I realize it is after the winter solstice and almost the night before Christmas. But I prefer the solstice. So substitute it for Christmas in your own heads, if you must.

'Twas the night before Solstice in the Pop Culture House,
and Mama's still shopping with the click of a mouse.
The stockings are still in the storage all boxed;
The only house without lights for three blocks.
The kiddos were avoiding going along to their beds,
Throwing popcorn around, putting food on their heads.
The hubs with his coffee, and I with my wine
were handling all of the chaos just fine.

From the front of our house, went a crash and a bang
I was sure that the girls had broken something.
I ran to the study to issue my wrath,
I'm sure I looked crazy as I let out a gasp.
Right there on our porch and blocking the doors
were dozens of boxes from our favorite stores
"What the heck did you order?????" asked Pop Culture Dad,
Sounding a bit more amused than was mad.
But who was our Secret Santa this night?
I looked for a delivery truck, no FedEx in sight.
And no UPS or U.S. Postal Service.
The silent cul-de-sac was making me nervous.

"There's Amazon and Target and Ulta and Frye's
and Banana Republic and even Best Buy!
Wait! Barnes & Noble and Carter's and Macy's!
And Baby Naarjtie! Honey, this is crazy!"
My poor husband apprised me with a rise of the brow
I had to think of an explanation, like, NOW.
"Sweetie, I swear. I did not buy all this!
Did you check the slips? Surely these are gifts.
I've been curbing my shopping—the recession, you know.
I only got gifts for our friends and my bro...
Oh! And our parents... and... your fam... and the girls."
My face went crestfallen as my story unfurled.
"Okay, so maybe I have a slight shopping problem;
But there's no way I'd bought this and then just forgotten!"
My love raised his eyebrows and gave me "the look"
Until he noticed that one box was a Nook.
"Is that a tablet for me?", he asked looking smug.
"Dunno. Check the box." I said, giving a shrug.
He tore open a box, looked for the packing slips,
then a saw a sly smile appear on his lips.
"Never mind. Carry on!", he said looking suspicious.
It was at this point, he began piquing my interests.
I tore open a box to determine who sent them.
Now it was my turn to start questioning him.
I wasn't going crazy and oddly I was glad
that half of the gifts were from Pop Culture Dad!
I'm not the only big shopper in our awesome pair.
In fact, I would argue that he lapped me this year.

I threw my arms 'round my handsome hubby' neck,
got up on my tiptoes and gave him a peck.
"I love that we sometimes are of one mind.
Now stop teasing me! My shopping's just fine!"

Sometimes you know when your partner's just right.
Happy holidays to all, and to all a good night!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Photo by M Photography  Look at that smile!

As of Saturday, September 29th, Pop Culture Baby 2 (AKA Brennan) is a baby no more. My little princess is now one.

I started party planning mode months in advance. At first, I was set on doing a Lil' Angels theme after finding some of the decorations on clearance at Party City. I polled my gal pals about it. Most thought it was cute, but one thought skulls were a little morbid for a baby's birthday party. Although I disagree, I could see how some of my family members would have also had that viewpoint. Besides, after looking at and Pinning some of the Lil' Angel decorations to my Pinterest board for kids' birthday ideas, another idea was forming in my head.

PCT2 is such a little rock star. Early on, my friends gave her the nickname Super Baby. She was so ahead of everything, and so happy while doing it. She is honestly as close to perfect as a kid can come (minus her lack of sense of self-preservation). A rock star birthday seemed just too perfect for her. And, well, since we are practically the house that Sanrio built, a Hello Kitty rock star theme seemed perfect. I got to websurfing and Pinning.

I found a lot of great ideas online, but wasn't sure how I was going to pull them off. That led me to starting the decorations two months before PCT2's birthday, so I would have ample time to start over if I messed up.

The first thing I did were the invitations. I found some pink and black argyle images/digital scrapbook paper on Etsy. As I blogged about previously, I designed the invitations with an app on my iPad. I bought some 5x7 invitation paper to print them out (with gorgeous hot pink envelopes to match). When I had trouble getting the print settings perfect (going from iPad to PC), I got some help from one of my mommy board pals, Sweets4ever at Craftster.

The invitations were my starting point for the rest of the decorations. I found some a Hello Kitty buttons on Etsy also. While they never printed properly as 1" buttons, they did provide me with great backdrops for my other decorations. One of my favorite Hello Kitty rock star designs (the same one on the invite) served as the base for the lollipop decorations, some of the hanging decorations, the wall posters and the favor boxes.

Photo by M Photography

Hanging and Wall Decorations

The second long-term design project were the aforementioned hanging decorations. Initially I thought about buying those Lil' Angel hangers in the clearance bin and pasting Hello Kitty over the skulls. I figured out, however, I could do it on my own. I got circular and scalloped punches in varying sizes. At night when everyone was asleep (I work, after all), I would sit up in bed punching out the Hello Kitty's and various plain black circles with either PCT2's name or a "1" on them and plain circles or scallops on either the argyle pattern, black, or silver sparkles. Once a had a quart-size Ziplock bag completely full of punched-out paper, I started matching various shapes, sizes and designs until I was happy. I then bough decorating ribbon in black, pink and silver, and spent my nights gluing and taping my designs. The result were hanging ribbon decorations with three circles on each. I saved the remaining paper cut outs for other decorations.

I also bought several balloons to hang. We are in the process of selling our house, so the last thing I wanted to do is have tape and push puns everywhere. However, thanks to the helium shortage, my vision of floating balloon everywhere had to be curtailed. I did manage to procure two tanks, one of which was used almost exclusively on three gigantic mylar balloons shaped like the number one.

Photo by M Photography

I also made signs for the walls, door and window using the Avery Removable Wall and Window Signs. Some of the reviews regarding the actual removability of the stickers were not favorable, and with freshly-painted walls, I was not willing to take a huge chance. If I had to do things over, I would skip these.

Photo by M Photography

Candy Bar

I was desperate to do a candy bar. I always love seeing them at parties, and there were some very cool-looking ideas on Pinterest. However, I didn't want to spend three-figures making one. I bought some satin pink polka dot fabric on eBay to use as a table cloth and jars from the dollar store. I found pink and black candies on Amazon.com and from various candy wholesalers online. I also found some raspberry M&Ms in varying shades of dark pink and licorice bites from my local Super Target. I decorated the glass jars with ribbons I bought from Michael's and the punched-out designs I had made previously. For the lollipops, I got some flower decorating foam boards and wrapped them in black tissue paper, putting ribbons around one layer and pink and black argyle duct tape around the other. The personalized stickers on the lollipops were created on Microsoft Word with Avery 1" round labels. I took my favorite Hello Kitty button design and used Word to personalize the circle around her.

We will reuse the jars and the fabric. I can't sew to save my life, but my mother is very good at it and plans to make the girls dresses with the fabric.

Photo by M Photography

Photo by M Photography

Mmm.. candy ribbons!

Photo by M Photography

Photo by M Photography

Favor Boxes
I found cheap hot pink and black boxes on Amazon and used the same Hello Kitty design, but on the 2" Avery stickers to decorate the favor boxes. The favor boxes were all empty for the kids to fill up with cookies (see below) and candy from the candy bar.



Cookies

I bought some Hello Kitty cookie cutters from Sanrio.com and a guitar cookie cutter from Amazon. I already had the star [honestly, I can't believe we didn't have a Hello Kitty cookie cutter before now!]. I baked several dozen cookies and frosted them all.

For the packaging, I got Avery Printable Bag Toppers, which also came with the plastic bags. They perfectly fit all of my oversized cookies, except for a couple of the guitars, which had spread when baked. Most of those broke in half as I was trying to get them into the bags, anyway, so it all worked out. I also had some trouble with the black cookie frosting refusing to harden, but over all, the cookies weren't bad. My mom assumed I had bought them somewhere, so I take that as a compliment.

Some Kitties clearly fared better than others!

Water Bottles

Thank you, Pinterest! I made the water bottles by removing the existing labels from water bottles and putting pink and black argyle duct tape where the labels used to be. They matched the party beautifully, and unlike paper labels you make yourself, these could go in a cooler without being destroyed.

Photo by M Photography

Cake and Smash Cake

I take no credit for the actual birthday cake. After getting custom cake quotes that were way out of budget for a one-year old birthday party, I contacted a coworker of mine, who was the person who made Pop Culture Preschooler's first birthday cake [a cute princess castle; after the first birthday, we stick to sheet cakes from the grocery store]. I sent her the invitation design and asked what she thought she could do with it. She told me she would try a few things, but had never used fondant before. I set my expectations low. When she arrived with the cake on PCT2's birthday, I nearly fell over. The cake arrived in four beautiful parts, ready to be assembled. The last two parts of the cake were the Hello Kitty (head and body)—the part of the cake we were both worried wouldn't work. I had already bought s plush Hello Kitty to use as a cake topper just in case. No need. This Kitty was (is) FABULOUS. She's also edible (made of Rice Krispie treats on the inside). However, we won't touch her. She is too beautiful to eat. [okay, okay... We did crack open her body at work. Delish!]

Photo by M Photography

All photos by M Photography

My smash cake did not go as well, though. No matter. Its purpose was to be demolished! I am proud of myself for figuring out how to (kind of) use fondant, though. And PCT2 sure didn't seem to mind!

Photo by M Photography

Photo by M Photography

Photo by M Photography

Birthday Board

This is one of my proudest Pinterest-inspired creations. I spent weeks playing around with fonts on my computer and drawing things out on my iPad and by hand until I was satisfied with how the board would look. Initially I wanted to do a chalkboard with chalk markers, but I couldn't find a board with a frame I liked. So I settled instead on a black canvas with paint markers.

Some of my numbers proved wrong at the well-baby checkup the next day (she's actually 30.25" long and 19 lbs 12 oz), but it still looks good.

Photo by M Photography

Photo by M Photography

Pictures

Special thanks to my friend Mirna at M Photography for taking pictures. Mirna does all of our family pictures, and she totally rocks! If anyone is in the Houston area, I highly recommend you give her a call!

Pop Culture Preschooler ready to rock out. Photo by M Photography

Note: any picture that doesn't say "Photo by M Photography" under it was taken with my iPad (that's why the quality isn't as good).

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad