When you're a woman of color, particular if your skin tone skews more brown than beige, shopping for makeup is exhausting, frustrating, and sometimes even humiliating. Even though it is 2015, many makeup companies haven't attempted to make many shades for us darker ladies. Even those that make darker shades make far less of those hues than they do beige, and they often get the undertones completely wrong. Many beige women of color aren't completely exempt from the awful makeup-buying experience either. The problem here is, again, undertones. Well, really, the problem is bias.

 Just a typical day of buying makeup for women of color. Let's see... there's super light beige, kinda light beige, and beige. Um... is this what passes for diversity these days?

This isn't a new problem, really. Ask any brown woman about her experiences with buying makeup or using makeup artists, and you're bound to get an earful.

"I never ever show up on a set without my own foundation and powder. Never ever. I've been in this business for twenty years and you only need a couple of bad experiences to learn a lesson..." (reprinted with permission from Robinne Lee) 

All over Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, black women, celebrities and non-celebrities alike shared stories of makeup artists, hairstylists, and stores that treated our blackness—our black hair, our black skin—as an inconvenience. Like nearly every other brown woman of color in this country, I have been there before. This May, when I was browsing through Ulta, looking at aisle after aisle of "30 shades of beige and two of brown, but not YOUR brown" and "our colors only come in light, light/medium, and medium. 'MURICA!", the frustration was just too much for me. I tweeted the following, not really expecting anything to come of it [because nothing ever does]: 

Shopping for makeup is just depressing when you're a WOC. @ULTA_Beauty, why don't your stores in diverse areas carry diverse products? — Pop Culture Mom (@popculturemom) May 20, 2015

So imagine my surprise when Ulta actually responded:

@popculturemom hi there, we'd like to hear more about your experience in order to improve. Please email us the details at gethelp@ulta.com.

— ULTA Beauty (@ULTA_Beauty) May 21, 2015

So, I took this open invitation, and I ran with it. Below is the part of the very long e-mail I fired off to Ulta the next day: 

In response to your request to me on Twitter ..., here is the recurring problem I have in Ulta's stores ... :

As is evident by my signature line, I am a woman of color. Now, it's hard enough being a woman of color and trying to find makeup. Most brands, unless they are minority-owned, simply just don't make enough colors for women of color. So I'm not going to fault Ulta for not carrying more colors if the brand itself doesn't carry them. However, if a brand carries a more diverse line of makeup, I would expect that your stores—particularly those in diverse neighborhoods—would. I can't tell you the exact demographics for ... However, just looking at the schools zoned in the areas near this particular Ulta, this neighborhood is about 40% non-white. Looking around, I can tell you that there is a heavy population of black, Hispanic, Indian, Vietnamese, and Filipino. Although there are huge variations of colors within those communities, we tend to have a lot of tan-to-brown people. So I would expect that for brands that actually carry makeup in brownish colors, Ulta in our neighborhood would have them.

No, it doesn't. I have requested several times. I have been in the store when other customers have requested more colors (and have been told, sometimes mistakenly, that the brand doesn't carry them. I've looked online, this isn't true). I've even had people who work in the store complain to me that they can't find colors for themselves either. So, obviously, this is either a management or corporate problem. And, from what I can see on Ulta.com, this is a corporate problem.

Yesterday I was looking for Dermablend. From their color match system, I know that my concealer color is Cocoa. Looking at Ulta.com, "Cedar" and "Cocoa" (the only two brown concealers) are listed as "online only," which means none of your stores will carry this. Similarly, every brown color of Dermablend's Cover Creme except for the very darkest brown, which is a good 8 shades or so darker than the darkest beige you carry (which means you've missed pretty much every tan or brown woman who isn't extremely dark with red undertones—a description which actually matches exactly no one I know), is listed as online only. I looked for the color of Smashbox Photo Filter Powder Foundation that matches my tone per Smashbox's website. That, too, was available online only. You used to carry Iman (a brand for women of color) in stores. Now it's online only. The Smashbox Try It Kit: BB+Halo comes in a "Dark" variety, and Ulta doesn't even bother to carry that one online (but Birchbox does, and so does Amazon.com...).

Basically, everywhere I look in the Ultaverse for colors that might fit me, Ulta has deemed that these colors are "online only" and not fit for store shelves—if it carries them at all. While I love very much to shop online, the one thing I loathe buying online unless I absolutely have to is makeup (foundation and powder, at least). This is for obvious reasons. I mean, how do I know that a foundation or powder is going to actually work for my skin without trying it on? Is it really necessary to have space for 25 shades of beige but only 1 shade of brown (if any)? This is ridiculous and biased. It's also demoralizing. .... I shouldn't feel like a second-class citizen when simply trying to buy powder foundation.

I'm sure your response will be that these colors just don't sell and that's why you can't stock them in store, but how could they if, based on experience, women of color don't actually expect to find colors in your store? Honestly, I didn't even go looking for foundation/powder yesterday ..., since every time has been a disappointment. But I looked anyway, and, as expected, I was disappointed.

You may not realize this, but blacks have the most purchasing power of any single ethnic group in the United States. Combine us with Hispanics, Indians, and certain Eastern and Southeastern Asian groups, and are you really prepared to say that our purchasing power isn't worth a little bit of effort to make some room on your physical shelves to make our shopping experience more pleasant? I really like Ulta's branded products, but I can't continue this game of purchasing in store and then having to go home to complete my makeup purchases online. And I know a lot of other women who feel the same way.

In closing, I would like to add, I would greatly appreciate it if you took the time to give me a thoughtfully crafted response rather than a canned "Thanks for your input. We're looking into it." In addition to it being insulting to the intelligence, the fact is, you guys reached out to me after my small 140-character rant on Twitter. I obviously took the time to send you a detailed response of the problem, and I would appreciate some reciprocity.

Regards, [Pop Culture Mom]

Honestly, I really expected that all I might get out of this very long, soul-bearing e-mail was a bit of catharsis. So imagine my surprise when the next day, I received a voicemail from the Ulta corporate office.

Now, my phone number was never on the e-mail. However, I'm an Ulta rewards member (and, despite my difficulty finding makeup in-store, a platinum one at that), and the Ulta Guest Services Manager [shout out to Ron!] was able to get my phone number and purchase history from my account. The message let me know that my e-mail had been received and was being taken very seriously and let me know that I could expect a response after the Memorial Day holiday. I was also given a direct phone number in case I wanted to talk before I had gotten a complete response.

After the holiday, Ron and I touched base to schedule a call to discuss his findings in more detail. Honestly, even though Ulta corporate had reached out to me and was clearly making a concerted effort to keep the lines of communication open, I was not expecting much to come from the call. So when Ron started out by telling me that the various corporate heads he had spoken with to inquire as to why there weren't many products available in store for women of color had responded that they also didn't understand why that was the case in this day and age and saw it as a problem, I was shocked. But then when the blame shifted to the corporations manufacturing the makeup, my shock waned, and I expected another conversation reciting business as usual. But I shouldn't have, because Ron continued to surprise me.

Among other things, Ron explained to me that Ulta's old corporate model could not allow for stores to be diversified, and the result was that every single Ulta store carried what was basically the national average in terms of sales. So the Ulta store in, for example, Sandy, Utah carries exactly the same merchandise as the store in Atlanta, Georgia, even though the demographics of those cities are vastly different [Sandy, Utah is, by the way, 86% non-Hispanic white per Census data; Atlanta, on the other hand, is 36.3% non-Hispanic white and 54% black]. And because this nationwide data is collected based on a country where the vast majority of people are white and where non-white people (particularly those that are either darker than "honey beige" or don't have pink or blue undertones) don't actually expect for most cosmetic stores to service them, you can pretty much guess which way the data skews. [And, unless you're bathing in a sea of privilege, you can also see where the problem lies.] But Ulta is now in a position where it can customize its offerings by region. So in areas like mine where dark people of various ethnicities abound, come early 2016, we should expect to see more of our hues offered not just "online" but also in-store.

Ron also informed me that this "bigger and better" Ulta extends not only to their technology and inventory tracking but also to their ability to court more diverse brands and put some pressure on those brands who haven't caught up with the times to join the rest of us in the ultra-diverse 21st century. That pressure has apparently worked on some brands, and a few are now expanding their offerings to add several new shades. There were more details, more happiness to share about Ulta's coming changes to accommodate its customers of color. But the bottom line is that Ulta isn't just giving lip service; it clearly cares about customer satisfaction—all customers, not just the beige and pink-undertones ones. And as if all of these changes and all of this time spent meaningfully addressing my concerns wasn't enough, Ron also arranged for the Prestige Manager [since my purchase history is primarily of those cosmetics they consider their "Prestige brands"] at my local Ulta store to meet with me one on one and introduce me to some of their newer lines and colors that might work for me better. The P.M. totally hooked me up, and I have found a new foundation to love. Her name is Becca (one of Ulta's newer offerings), and, miracle of miracles, there are several shades of brown with various undertones available.

The sad fact is, beauty woes are just one source of the microagressions that daily confront people of color with white privilege in this country. It may not seem like a privilege to buy makeup, but when you're a person of color denied the simplicity of that experience that others feel, it is evidence what a loss of privilege it is for makeup purchases to become an ordeal. For anyone who would respond, "Well, then don't buy makeup" (ignoring the flippancy and ignorance of such a comment), the simple fact of the matter is that for many women, buying makeup isn't really an option. Yes, it would be great if we lived in a perfect world where sexism didn't make work life easier for women who wear at least natural looking makeup or if women were imbued with so much self-confidence that we didn't feel the need to wear makeup ever. But this isn't reality. Additionally, when we live in a world where models and actresses of color feel compelled to bring their own makeup kits to their jobs—a job necessity that is automatically provided for their paler skinned counterparts—or otherwise risk re-inviting the feelings of despair and embarrassment experienced after someone has half-heartedly attempted to do their hair or makeup without putting in any real effort to account for different skin tones or hair textures. It is absolutely galling that someone would think this is equal, fair, or trivial.

This world is diverse. This country is diverse. On most continents on this planet, you can find people ranging from the palest of pale beiges to the darkest of dark browns. There are many different hair types and shades. It shouldn't be asking too much for professionals be able to do their jobs for every person who might sit in their chairs, and not just the white ones. And it isn't "baiting" to require that stores selling beauty products be able to service the clientele present in the areas where they chose to setup shop.

Note: Ulta did not ask me to write this post, nor is this an advertisement for Ulta. However, I'd be lying if I said that, given their stated commitment to improve diversity, I'm not interested in ringing the bells and sounding the alarms that Ulta is a store women of color need to add to their rotation. I will always be of the firm belief that the same way we should buycott those brands who have absolutely zero interest in tolerance and diversity [I'm looking at you, Almay, Simply Aryan], we should similarly reward those who do.

Two of the things I'm totally addicted to now, the iFontMaker app for iPad and Disney/Pixar's Inside Out. So I've decided to marry them.

For those who don't know, iFontMaker is an app that allows you to draw your own fonts. The website says you can draw a font in 5 minutes. This is probably true for some people, but I'm Type A and complicated when it comes to anything creative, so for me, it's often the equivalent of five days. The font that appears on the web version of this site is my handwriting. This font was probably redone, oh, six or seven times. I have various fonts I've created for the purpose of one-key shortcuts (for example, a private signature font I use at work to sign PDFs), fonts of cartoons of my family just because I ran out of ideas, chalkboard fonts, fonts to make diecuts for my Cricut (also in the top five on my current addictions list) and of characters my kids love. That's where Inside Out comes in.

Inside Out is easily one of the best family movies I've seen in a long time. It has unseated Frozen as far as the Pop Culture Girls' obsession meter goes. You heard me, Disgust is more popular than Elsa. Seriously.

So after we saw Inside Out the first time, I started working on a font. I'm not exactly sure what we'll do with it other than using it in the Cricut and basically just randomly inserting it in documents just because we can [fan art made easy!], but my kids were super excited when I finally finished it today.

I'm not selfish, so I'm sharing it with you all. All I ask is that you let people know where you got it. So Inside-ish Out-like is all yours for the low cost of attribution.* Just click here. I hope you experience lots of Joy and make Core Memories using it! 

* And it should go without saying, but DUH! no commercial use! Personal use only. 

Like many people, I've been fascinated (in horror) watching the Rachel Dolezal "passing" story unfold. I'm not going to rehash the various layers of how what she did was so very wrong or why "transracial," as it has been used with respect to this story, is not a thing and should not be compared to Caitlyn Jenner or any other transgendered person. Those issues have all been artfully discussed and dissected ad nauseum, and there is little more I could add to them that hasn't been said before. One thing I have seen very little discussion on, however, is how the discussion regarding Rachel Dolezal's deception relates to colorism.

"Colorism," for those who don't know, is an intraracial form of bigotry, prejudice, discrimination, or supremacy based on the lightness or darkness of skin tone. Colorism does not really exist within the white community as an intraracial issue (as there is not as wide a range of skin tones among whites as there are in other races and ethnicities), though whites may exercise some bit of colorism against other groups, where they prefer the lighter-skinned of those groups to the darker [however, I would still classify that as just "racism," rather than "colorism"]. Although the roots of colorism in the black community can be traced back to the benefits and status afforded blacks during slavery and Jim Crow, colorism continues to persist to this day. And it is a two-way street.

In 2013, OWN (the Oprah Winfrey Network) ran a documentary called "Dark Girls," in which dark-skinned black women discussed the ways their skin color has affected the way they have been treated and perceived, largely hurtful. This documentary was followed this January by "Light Girls," which shared the stories of hurt and rejection experienced by light-skinned black women by questioning the belief that light skin makes for an easier life. Both documentaries have their fair share of acclaim and criticism, both of which is beyond the scope here. My issue is the idea of questioning someone's "blackness" based on his/her appearance.

Let me make it crystal clear from the outset that I am in no way arguing that Rachel Dolezal can consider herself black. As I have previously stated, self-identification is important, but that self-identification must be rooted in reality. Unless Rachel Dolezal presents a 23andMe or Ancestry.com DNA report verifying some African ancestry [doubtful], there is no reality in which she can be considered a black woman in this country. I am only discussing those people who self identify as black or part-black whose reality and ancestry would support that claim.

Moving on...

One of the things that has disturbed me the most as this story unfolds is watching the amount of colorism spewing forth. From the black men who make comments insinuating Rachel Dolezal "can stay" because she's hotter than most black women to the comments that people "should have known that she wasn't black," because she doesn't look the part, this story has brought forth my uncomfortable feelings with colorism.

The latter charge feels like an assault on the claims of blackness by those who don't pass a color check. During slavery and Jim Crow, lighter blacks exercised colorism against darker blacks by way of the "paper bag test" (those whose skin was darker than a paper bag were not allowed to enter) and the "comb test" (you "pass" if a fine-tooth comb can go through your hair without stopping). I don't know where the color line is allegedly drawn by those asserting Rachel Dolezal doesn't look black by any reasonable standards of blackness, but it appears that some combination of beige skin + light eyes + fine-ish hair + European features = you fail the Blackness Test. It is not 100% clear to me if, say, Rashida Jones fails because she's more olive than tan or she passes because her dad is Quincy Jones. Or if she is over the color line, do we get to welcome Catherine Zeta-Jones to the tribe, too? Pete Wentz, yay or nay? How about Mariah Carey? What are black people going to do if we lose Mariah Carey? Does her 20+ year career now become cultural appropriation? And does Amber Rose retain membership to the black community based on that fantastic ass alone?

You see where I'm going with this. The possibilities are endless, numerous, and utterly ridiculous. It's also hurtful. How dare someone else decide that your black isn't "black enough." If someone (rightfully) self-identifies as black or part-black, how messed up is it to say that they just don't look the part enough to be who they were raised to be? And how ironic is it that the same people who would deny membership in Club Black because someone's hair or nose is too straight or eyes are too light usually flock to those articles and blog posts about "people you didn't know are black." I guess now some of us are ready to kick them all out until we can further investigate their claims of blackness. Oh... We are...

Look, I'm not denying that someone who appears white to most white people is enjoying a great deal of white privilege that darker people of color will never share; but that doesn't mean we throw away someone's ancestry, their culture, their life experience, or their identity, simply because they have those privileges. Does it mean there are certain discussions to which they can't relate because they have never and will never have those experiences? Of course. Does that make them any less black? No.

I guess the only solution here is we're just going to have to start issuing Black Cards. If your children, siblings, or other loved ones are too light to pass the Black Test, make sure they know to carry their cards at all times when they are not with you until we can get this whole thing sorted out.

Never leave home without it

Or, you know, we can stop telling other black people that they are too white-looking to sit with us.