Elmo Makes Everything Better

Like most toddlers (including me at this age), my daughter would easily tell you if she could that Sesame Street is her favorite children’s TV show. She likes a lot of shows, but she’s in love with Elmo, so when it comes to children’s TV shows, Sesame Street is the one. Also like many toddlers, my daughter is not a very happy traveler on most car rides that are longer than a few minutes. We don’t have an entertainment system in either car, but we do have a portable DVD player that I bought several years ago for plane rides [this was before iPods had video capability – that’s how long ago I purchased this]. So why, then, has it never occurred to my husband and I that taking along my daughter’s favorite children’s TV show on a car ride would make traveling with a toddler so much more enjoyable?

As I type this post, we are on our way to my ranch. My ranch is approximately 50 miles outside of the city, and about an hour and a half from our home. This is not an unbearable distance for adults, but for a toddler, it’s torture. We tried leaving close to my daughter’s naptime, so we could take advantage of the natural “baby Ambien” effect that the car tends to provide [though only when we’re within five minutes of our destination]. It didn’t work. So we invoked the powers of my daughter’s favorite children’s TV show.

Seriously, why didn’t we think of this sooner? The first DVD I put in is called “The Letter Quest and Other Fairy Tale Adventures.” In addition to a segment in which Elmo, Telly, and Abby go on a quest for the letter Y, it includes my favorite Sesame Street segment ever, the Shoe Fairy. In case you’ve never witnessed the Shoe Fairy episode, the Shoe Fairy is NPH [Neil Patrick Harris]. I. Love. Neil. Patrick. Harris. And even more than loving Neil Patrick Harris, I love NPH singing. And dancing. I know the Shoe Fairy song backwards and forwards. And my daughter is starting to learn the words, too. In any event, she always sings the chorus with me, “Shoes, shoes, shoes, shoes, shoooe, ooh ooh, shoes…”. Watching the Shoe Fairy episode while singing the Shoe Fairy song made for a fantastic car ride.

In addition to watching her favorite children’s TV show, my daughter was eating a pint of blueberries, popping them one by one, like most people do with popcorn. This has been the calmest I’ve ever seen her on a car ride of any length. It’s been well over an hour, and she’s in a better mood than she would have been had we just been home. She’s also been so sedate, it’s almost like she’s taken a nap. One thing’s for certain, we’re never going on another car ride without Elmo.
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Fictional Surrogate Moms (Glee), Custody Fights, and "Surrogate" Sluts. What a Week!

**Warning: Spoilers Ahead (though, I don’t know why it’s called “spoilers” when the episode has already aired, but whatever)

I don’t know what’s been going on lately, but it seems like surrogate mother stories are everywhere. First of the surrogate mother stories was the one I’d heard on the radio where the surrogate mom sued for custody. The second of the surrogate mother stories was the storyline on Glee where Rachel is on her surrogate mother search (Best. Show. On. Television). And the third of the surrogate mother stories was a doozy of a story my friend told me about a “non-surgical”surrogate.Actually, there were even more surrogate mother stories than those three if you count the various callers to the Derek and Romaine Show this past week who wanted advice regarding surrogacy or to share surrogate mother stories. Of course, out of all the surrogate mother stories I’ve experienced lately, the Glee story is my favorite.
So for those of you who aren’t Gleeks and are wondering who this “Rachel” person is, Rachel Berry is one of the main characters on Glee. She was conceived via surrogate, and has never met her surrogate (biological) mom. Although the surrogate was also her egg donor, this is not a closed adoption scenario, because her dads actually had a surrogate mom contract, and they each donated sperm. The joke in the pilot episode was that Rachel thought it was sweet that no one knows which one is her biological father. If you don’t get why that joke is funny, it’s because her father are different races. Unless her surrogate mother’s genes are very strong [which, maybe i don’t want to paint myself into this corner given my daughter’s coloring and that of other biracial children I’ve seen…], you can generally guess which one of Rachel’s fathers is in fact the biological father.

So during an episode entitled “Dreams” (with NPH!!!), the glee club members are asked to write down their deepest, wildest dreams. Although Rachel writes down something fairly obvious (to be a star) she later reveals that what she really wants more than anything is to meet her mother. Some shenanigans ensue, and Rachel “finds” a recording of her mother singing. This leads to some fabulousness wherein Idina Menzel (playing Rachel’s mother – love her!!) and Lea Michelle (the actress who plays Rachel) have a duet that left me weeping. I probably could have died a happy woman at that moment. If they had sung something from Wicked and been joined by NPH and Kristen Chenoweth, I very well may have.

Anyway, Idina Menzel is an obvious choice for the surrogate mother story line here. She and Lea Michelle could easily be sisters in real life. There was a really sad moment where Idina Menzel explains to another character why she has to make Rachel contact her rather than the other way around. She explains how she signed a surrogate mother contract saying she would not contact her daughter, and how she only saw her for a minute after she gave birth, when one of the nurses was cleaning Rachel off.

This whole scenario got me thinking – what makes someone a mother? I mean, we all know that there’s more than biology that makes a family. And we all know that submitting 50% of someone’s genetic material doesn’t make you a parent. But what happens when contract law gets in the way of emotion? Apparently, Ryan Murphy (the creator/writer/producer of Glee) and I were on the same page, because he actually tackled that issue in the next episode.

So, at the end of “Dreams,” Rachel has heard a recording of her surrogate mother [a duet, which brought me to tears], her surrogate/biological mother is waiting for contact, and I’m spending the next week wondering about the legal, emotional, and ethical implications of surrogacy and what makes someone a mother, especially when the surrogate mother is also the egg donor. Luckily, some of my wondering was out loud to other people, so I ended up hearing a pretty hilarious court case relating to the use of a non-surgical surrogate (think about it). More on that later…

Rachel didn’t know who her surrogate mother was, even though she’d heard her voice on tape. Rachel and some of her cast mates go to spy on their rival team, Vocal Adrenaline (seriously), and it is at this moment that Rachel realizes the voice on the tape, her biological mother, is Vocal Adrenaline’s coach Miss Cochran (played by the fabulous, incomparable Broadway diva, Taye Diggs wifey, and Lea Michelle doppelganger, Idina Menzel). Rachel confronts Miss Cochran, and they have a very awkward exchange. Rachel points out how similar she and her mother are because they’re sitting, not looking at each other, in a completely overly dramatic fashion, and yet they are both very comfortable that way. When asked about how she feels about the situation, Rachel says that she’s “thirsty,” and then she explains that when she was little, her dads would give her a glass of water when she was sad, so eventually it got to the point where she couldn’t tell if she was sad or thirsty. It is at this point her surrogate mother announces, “I can’t do this,” and leaves. My husband and I were mortified. Imagine the emotional implications of finding a 16-year old girl who’s never met her mother, giving her the hopes of a mother-daughter relationship, and then just bailing on her!

We find out later that the water story is what made Miss Cochran realize that she is just a surrogate mother and not a real mother. Rachel’s dads had raised her. Miss Cochran could not have any other children, so in forging a relationship with Rachel, she was trying to get her baby back. Instead she realized that Rachel isn’t a baby anymore, she’s never going to get her baby back, and Rachel doesn’t need her.

I have to disagree with the idea that Rachel doesn’t need her [as evidenced by the Lady Gaga outfit she needed her mother to make her because her “dads don’t sew,” and their attempt at it was disastrous]. Personally, I think children always need their mothers. I’m thirty-mumble-mumble years old, and even though my mom wasn’t there for me a lot of the time when I was younger, there are many times now when I need her. Yes, I’m grown and have my own family; but just like I often need the love and support of my dad, I still need my mom, too. I think children always need their mothers.

But I also think Miss Cochran was right in a sense. Yes, she’s Rachel’s biological mother, but (as she said) being a mother doesn’t make you a mom. Rachel has parents, and Miss Cochran is not one of them. I’m glad the episode wrapped up the issue of surrogate mother v. biological mom that was running through my head all week, but I was still saddened by the whole issue. And I really hope it doesn’t mean that Idina Menzel won’t make any more guest appearances – particularly if they could arrange for her and Kristen Chenoweth to appear on the same episode again (but maybe sing together? Something from Wicked, perhaps?).

The Cases

The first of the surrogate mother cases I’d heard involved a surrogate mother who sued the parents for custody of the child. You’re probably thinking the mother just wanted to get her biological child back. Au contraire mon frere. What makes this different from other surrogate mother cases you may have heard is that the surrogate contributed no genetic material to the making of the baby. Both egg and sperm were supplied by the parents; the surrogate mother was simply a carrier. So what happened – was this just an issue of a woman who bonded with her baby during the nine months of carrying her? Sort of.

What happened was, the mother (the biological/contractual mother) has a host of mental conditions she had not revealed to the surrogate. I am not sure if this disclosure was actually a part of the surrogate mother contract, but whatever these mental problems were, the surrogate considered this nondisclosure a deal breaker. Actually, I guess it wasn’t the actual nondisclosure that was the problem, the problem was that the mother was in fact crazy. Very much so. The surrogate feared for the child’s health and safety, so she sued for custody. And in an odd twist on surrogate mother cases, she won. Turns out that the parents had resorted to surrogacy because they had been rejected by several adoption agencies, including some abroad. Yes, she is that crazy. This raises the issue of whether some people just don’t have a right to be parents? I can’t say the answer would be the same in all surrogate mother cases, but in this one, the court decided NO.

The second of the surrogate mother cases I’d heard about when I mentioned to my best friend how the surrogate mother story line on Glee got me thinking about the question of what really makes someone a mom. She told me a story she’d heard from someone who’s spouse is a family law attorney. Apparently, the attorney has a divorce case where the couple is splitting up because of the emotional fallout of using a non-surgical surrogate. Never heard of a non-surgical surrogate you say? Oh, that’s just a fancy way of saying that the surrogate didn’t want to go through surgery to be implanted, so the husband and wife agreed that the husband would just have sex with the surrogate as many times as it took for her to get pregnant!! What the…?

I’m sorry, but that is the craziest of the surrogate mother cases I have heard. Why on earth would anyone agree to that?? And worse still, they actually signed a surrogate mother contract to that effect!! I am not surprised they’re getting divorced.
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Huge Parental Fail (Real Housewives)

Ugh! Why do I keep watching this show? Is it some subconscious need to feel better about my own parenting skills? There was a lot going on this week but the one thing that kept popping up in my head was "as a single parent mom, Danielle you fail." Has a nice ring to it, right?

I think the single thing that annoyed me the most was Danielle's house. She needs a course in finances for single parent moms or something. First, the camera shows her dogs using the carpet of her "$2 million home" as toilet paper. Danielle, single parent mom of the year, does nothing about it.

Then her realtor comes over to discuss the various repairs the home needs before it can be sold. Here's where I almost lost it. Danielle is crying about what a deadbeat her ex-husband is being, then she asks the realtor if she called the ex-hubby to ask him for money for the repairs. Hold the phone! You asked your REALTOR to call your ex-husband to ask for money that YOU need? Seriously?! If you can't handle asking your ex-husband for money or at least going through PROPER channels like, say, your lawyers or your accountants, then how are you supposed to handle the pressures of being a single parent mom?

So Danielle's realtor wasn't able to squeeze any money out of the guy. Shocker. Danielle then says she doesn't want to sell the home, because even at the lower list price they are considering, her husband would end up getting $700,000 out of the sale, and that's not fair. First, I doubt he'd "get" $700k out of the sale of their home unless there's no mortgage -- which we already know there is. Second, we know that Single Parent Mom of the Year here didn't run out looking for mortgages for single moms with no job, no appreciable skills, no prospects, and no hopes of ever finding another rich guy dumb enough to marry her. So in all likelihood, her ex-hubby is still paying the mortgage - or at least his alimony is. Shouldn't he, then, get half the proceeds of a home sale to pay his share of the mortgage. And finally, "not fair"?? Seriously?! How much did YOU put towards the house either financially or with sweat equity?

Her fiscal irresponsibility gives every single parent mom a bad name. There are single parent moms out there who break their backs everyday to keep their kids clothed and fed and to make a living to keep a roof over their heads and food on the table. Danielle Straub is the kind of single parent mom who won't even break a nail to keep dog poo off the floor.

There are single parent moms out there who when they say their children's fathers aren't helping really MEAN these men aren't helping; these ladies aren't whining because he's asking her to downsize from a "$2 million home" to something more reasonable for three women with zero income. The man is still offering to foot the bill - just not an outrageous one!

There are single parent moms out there who fight their own battles, not who expect to delegate the work to whomever crosses their paths while assigning blame the whole way.

These real single parent moms, these wonderful ladies, are an inspiration. They make the best of a difficult situation. Danielle, on the other hand, is just one big parental fail.
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Sibling Birth Order – A Study in Charmed

Sibling birth order is a theory which suggests that a person’s birth order in the family (oldest child, middle child, baby, only child) affects the personality they have throughout life. I have a cousin – the oldest of two – who was very into this theory when we were growing up. After watching the three siblings on eight seasons of Charmed over the last dozen years [yes, I still watch it in repeats, too], I think the writers must have been obsessed with sibling birth order theory.

Sibling Birth Order – The Oldest Child

According to sibling birth order relationship theories, the oldest child is the responsible one, who often feels a need to parent or protect his/her younger siblings. The oldest child also, according to these theories, feels guilt when she thinks she has failed to protect her siblings. Prue Halliwell at the beginning of the series fit this stereotype perfectly. She always took charge of the situation and tried to protect her sisters. When she was not “the strong one,” she took it as a personal failure.

Later, after Prue died, the siblings’ relationship changed, and Piper, formerly the middle child, took over this oldest sibling role. Her character immediately went from having traits typical of middle children to having the oldest child’s protective traits. Perhaps the change is also attributable to the fact that she became a mother, but since the personality change occurred before her children were born, I have to lean toward the theory that the Charmed writers were just so enamored with sibling birth order theory, that they wanted to ensure the character arc followed the theory.

Sibling Birth Order – The Middle Child

Nearly everyone is familiar with “the middle child syndrome.” Sibling birth order theory posits that the middle child often feels neglected – neither the beloved first child who got to share one-on-one time with mom and dad, nor the favored baby. Middle children are thought to feel insecure or out of place, because of this birth order relationship. Piper fit this middle child stereotype to a tee in the seasons prior to Prue’s death. After Piper ascended to oldest child status however, Phoebe, the former baby moved into the middle child role almost seamlessly.

Sibling Birth Order – The Baby/Only Child

According to sibling birth order theory, youngest and only children are very similar, although there are some differences. Both placements are thought to be the beloved, spoiled, overly indulged children, because they are never displaced as the baby. The youngest child, as opposed to the only child, is also thought to constantly need and crave protection, because they constantly received it from both parents and siblings. The theory also states that they feel a sense of inadequacy, despite all this attention, because they can never measure up to their older siblings.

Phoebe completely fit the youngest child stereotype in the beginning of the series. She was the child who was always in trouble, but constantly pulled out of it by her older siblings. She often compared herself to them and felt inadequate. Then, after Prue died and Piper and Phoebe discovered their younger half-sister, Paige – formerly an only child – fell into the baby role. Like Phoebe before her, she was the always-in-trouble little sister who frequently complained about never being as good as her big sisters, and who was often protected by them.

Although a lot of shows play into the sibling birth order stereotypes, I think Charmed, because of the way all of the sister's’ personalities changed as soon as their birth order changed, was the most obvious about it. I’ll admit, despite its detractors, there is something to the theory. However, I also think that there can’t be so much to the theory that one life event that shifts the birth order magically (pun intended) changes your personality!
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Parental Fail - It Must Be Monday (Real Housewives)

Another week, another episode of the Real Housewives of New Jersey, another huge example of parental fail! Seriously?! What is up with these chicks??

Once again, Jackie is sitting in her kitchen having another uncomfortable chat with her 18-year old daughter. Her daughter accidentally admits that she’s going to 21+ clubs and drinking with her too-old boyfriend and his too-old friends. As Jackie attempts to correct last week’s parental fail and have a mature discussion about responsible drinking, her teenage daughter stands up and turns her back on Jackie. Jackie continues to talk to her, and for a minute there, I thought I was going to have to reverse everything I said last week about Jackie’s poor parenting skills. For a minute. pretty soon, Jackie was yelling/whining at her daughter, her daughter is yelling back, and no one is accomplishing anything. Finally, Jackie stomps out of her own kitchen—acting like a teenager herself – and tells her daughter to take her laundry with her. HUGE parental fail.
The rest of the episode could have easily been called “pageant moms go wild.” First Danielle gets a call that her daughter is going to be a model for some “totally famous” photographer that “every body in the industry” allegedly knows “makes supermodels.” Sure, lady, whatever. As her daughter models for this “totally famous” photographer, Danielle, an alleged former model, barks orders from the side like a momager from hell. Then we cut to Danielle’s post-shoot interview where she reveals two thoughts in parental fail: (1) she’s “all over” her daughter’s career,and is going to go everywhere her daughter goes; and (2) the “totally famous” photographer who no one’s ever heard of (I guess because we’re not “in the industry?”) wants to photographer her tightly pulled, burnt orange, overly botoxed face. Not only am I calling parental fail on that one, I’m going to call “photographer fail'” as well. Then Danielle’s daughter gets the “cover” of whatever magazine she supposedly did this shoot for [I’m sure it had nothing to do with her mom’s reality show star status], and Danielle decides to throw “her daughter” a party to celebrate. Of course, none of her daughter’s actual friends are invited – just a slew of women Danielle wants to brag to who will “share her joy, her pride” and also bring a curse upon her enemies (namely, one of the other housewives). Danielle’s daughter wasn’t remotely fooled by this “party in her honor.” In her confessional, she outright says that her mom insisted it was a party for her, but really it was a brag party for her mom. Nice.

And lastly, we have a new entrant into the Real Housewife of New Jersey competition for biggest parental fail – Theresa. Theresa already established herself as the consummate stage mom in season one, and the hits just keep on coming. Yes, her daughter Gia is absolutely beautiful. You could fall into those big green eyes of hers. But does Theresa really need to push this child into becoming supermodel of the world at age six (or whatever she is)? I will say this much for Theresa, the effect of parental fail is slightly minimized with her, because her daughter does truly seem to enjoy being the center of attention. But it’s hard to watch Theresa shuffle Gia from interview to interview without thinking that she’s living out her own childhood fantasies through poor little Gia.

Overall, the award for biggest parental fail is a toss up between Danielle and Jackie, and from the previews we’ve seen for the entire season, it looks like these “ladies” (I use that term very loosely) will continue to run a neck-and-neck race. I’m very entertained by watching their examples of bad parenting, but I at the same time can’t help but feel utterly awful for their children.
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What Happened to All the Good Black Family Shows

I grew up with awesome black family shows like Good Times, The Jeffersons, The Cosby Show, and even to some extent, My Wife and Kids (well, I was grown, but didn't have a family yet). Now that I have a child, where are the good black family shows?

No disrespect to Tyler Perry, but I just don’t find his “family” shows to be of the caliber of the black family shows of the 70s, 80s and early 90s. There seems to be something missing. I like Tyler Perry movies just fine (some of them, anyway), but his sitcoms just don’t have that element I’m looking for in my black family shows. Honestly, I don’t know what this missing element is – the x-factor. I just know that it isn’t there. Maybe it’s the relatability that’s missing for me? Or maybe it’s just the humor? I’m not sure.

I got the Evans family, the Jeffersons, the Willises (yes, they were a black family, too, or at least a black and white family), the Huxtables, the Kyles, and even the Drummonds (Different Strokes). Those shows and the families portrayed by those black family shows weren’t at all similar. The Evans family lived in the projects and had three teenage kids and, at one point, a mother and father, but at another a mother who was a widower. The Jeffersons were a wealthy couple with one grown son who no longer lived at home. The Willises were a similarly wealthy couple with one child (married to the Jeffersons’ one child) who no longer lived at home, but they were also a biracial family. The Huxtables were a family with two “very comfortable” working parents who had five children, all of whom eventually left the house, and eventually even one adopted grandchild. The Kyles were a similarly “very comfortable” family with three kids – two teenagers and one pre-tween. And lastly the Drummonds consisted of one wealthy white widower, his teenage daughter, and his two black, adopted sons.

All of these families were vastly different, yet there was something about each one of these shows that was vastly relatable. These were the kind of shows that every member of the family would get together to watch. My parents didn’t feel the need to have me leave the room or over-explain any situation on these shows, even when they tackled extremely sensitive and mature subjects. Maybe it’s just the nostalgia talking, but I think it’s because these shows had a certain level of maturity and seriousness – despite their overall comedic tone – that you just don’t see on most television shows these days. It is sad to me that these types of shows don’t exist anymore, because it means – unless and until people start making black family shows like they used to – that my daughter will never get to see any new shows that carry on this tradition of excellence. In the meantime, thank goodness for TV on DVDs!!
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Hard Working Mom But No Claire Huxtable


Claire was boss at home and at work, and she was adored in both habitats. She was firm, yet soft. She was the perfect balance of all we as women strive to be. And her hair and skin always looked perfect.

At work, Claire was the woman with all the answers. And when this hard working mom came home, she was the woman with all the answers there, too. Some days, I have nothing but questions. Every now and then, however, I channel my inner Claire Huxtable, and I'm the hard working mom with all the answers. I like those days.

Mrs. Huxtable had impeccable intuition when it came to her children. She always seemed to know when they weren't telling the whole story. And she always had a way of coaxing the truth out. I want that skill.

Even though she was a working mom with a busy schedule, Claire Huxtable still found time to do charity work as well as offer pro bono legal services. I need to do more of that.
Claire and Cliff Huxtable had an ideal relationship. They were perfect matched and, even after decades of marriage were very much in love. Cliff definitely had an appreciation for what a hard working mom Claire was. I remember many episodes where Cliff rubbed Claire's feet after a long day of litigating. And he always seemed to be the one cooking dinner. My husband is absolutely wonderful, but I haven't had a foot rub since I was pregnant. And, bless his heart, my hubby just isn't that great of a cook. Maybe he needs to channel his inner Cliff?

One of my favorite things about the Huxtable parents were their one-liners. Even though I was probably eight years old when the episode originally aired, I still remember the one where Vanessa is sobbing to her parents that some kids fought her because they were just too rich. "Let's get one thing straight, okay?" Cliff corrects her, "Your mother and I are rich. You have nothing!".  As awesome as that was, Claire's response was even better. She tells Vanessa that they actually aren't rich, because rich people are those whose money works for them, whereas Cliff and Claire Huxtable worked hard for their money. Now those are impressive words of wisdom from a hard working mom!

And you've love Claire's classic mommy line of "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out of it." He he he. You just don't hear lines like that anymore.
One day, I hope I can be as cool as Claire Huxtable. We shall see.
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Biracial Families on Kids’ TV Shows

My daughter is just starting to get to the point where she's really into "her" television shows. While we're getting ready in the morning, I turn on PBS Kids.  Two of the shows that run back to back just before we run out the door include biracial families.

The first family like ours is on Sid the Science Kid. To be quite honest, I found this show really annoying at first. I've started to get into it, though, and I'd be lying if I didn't admit that part of the reason I got into the show is because I finally noticed Sid's parents. Sid's mom is black, and his dad is white (Jewish, in fact). Actually, more accurately, his parents are orange. But I think it's pretty apparent that his mom (despite her orange skin and blue hair) is supposed to be black, and his dad (with his slightly lighter orange skin and dark red-orange hair) is white. This was made all the more obvious for people like my husband who just aren't that convinced, by their holiday episode. Sid celebrated Christmas and Kwaanza with his mom and Hanukah with his dad. You don't get more matter-of-fact than that.

The second of the biracial families is on Super Why!. Princess Pea [whose Super Reader alter-ego is "Princess Presto"] is biracial. The Wikipedia entry for Super Why! describes Princess Pea as "a girl of biracial descent."   Honestly, I had thought she was just a black girl with green eyes – my family is full of them – but after doing a lot of Google research [sorry, I'm obsessed with this idea now], I've discovered that her father, Prince Charming, is indeed white. And her mother – the princess from the Princess and the Pea story -- is black. It took me a while to finally see the episode with her parents, but in true PBS Kids fashion, once it ran, I saw it 10 more times within the next month.

Seeing biracial families on television is a treat for me always. And it is especially sweet when the biracial families include a black mother and white father. It is actually rare to see a black woman with a white man (it is much more common the other way around), so it's amazing to see two shows that play back to back which have that sort of family structure. It's wonderful to think that my daughter will see shows with biracial families who look like her own, and that she will see how we are perfectly normal. So YAY for PBS Kids!!
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Single Father ... And Serial Killer?


I am really curious to see how this season works with Dexter Morgan as a single father, seeing as his wife, Rita, was brutally killed at the end of last season, leaving him with three children – one of whom is an infant. It seemed like he was having a hard enough time last season juggling his job as the blood splatter expert for the Miami Metro police department with being a new husband and a first-time dad… and, oh yeah, that little side hobby of killing other serial killers. So now that Rita is gone, how in the world is Dexter going to balance everything as a single father??

Dexter himself was raised by a single father who was also a police officer, so had this been real life and any other situation, you would think that he had a good, strong male role model to follow. But Dexter's father was also the one who recognized his adopted son's sociopathic tendencies and encouraged him to channel those tendencies into killing only bad people (the "Code"). And Dexter's sister is a little messed up in the head thanks to Harry's parenting skills, too. So maybe Dexter's single parent isn't the best role model for successful single parenting….

I think Dexter's single parent struggles could actually be a very interesting story arc.  For example, will Dexter have to attend a single parent support group where – like when he started attending N.A. meetings to deal with his "problem" [the serial killing; he doesn't do drugs] – he has to come up with code words for what's really going on in his life? Will Dexter, Astor, Cody, and little baby Harrison have to attend family grief counseling? And, if so, will they complain about how daddy is never home, and when he does come home, he's very distant? Will Dexter take the baby with him when he goes off to get rid of bad bad men? Will he give up serial killing altogether to deal with his new role as single parent dad?

I realize that this show isn't real (duh!) and that single parents – whether mom or dad – have a lot of struggles trying to balance work and family. I imagine those struggles are even more difficult when that parent has to step into the new role of single parent while also handling their own grief from the loss of a spouse. But you have to admit the dark humor possibilities for Season 5 of Dexter [maybe he decides the Babywise people are evil and must be stopped!] are endless and awesome.
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Toddler Sleep Training – I’m a Mother Bear


Cameron: Well, Mitchell really wanted to Ferberize the baby.
Mitchell: Ferberize… It is a method of getting the baby to sleep through the night by, yes, basically letting her cry herself to sleep.
Cameron: Torture.
Mitchell: It's not torture, Cam.
Cameron: It's just hard if you happen to be a person who hates to hear another person suffer.
Mitchell: Or… two people suffer [cut to video of Cameron listening to Lily crying on the baby monitor while he cries along with her].
Throughout the episode, as Mitchell attempts to stick with the "Ferberizing" method of toddler sleep training, Cameron continues to derail the program, sneaking into Lily's room when she cries. At one point, Mitchell even catches Cameron holding Lily in the middle of the night as they watch Scarface [apparently the colors and the sound of gunfire soothe Lily]. Mitchell is so worried about Cameron ruining the toddler sleep training program that he even stays home from work one day so that he can prevent Cameron from holding Lily while she takes her afternoon nap, and he puts a nanny cam on Cameron, so that he can see if Cameron is sneaking into Lily's room to comfort her. Eventually, it ends in a tussle as Cameron tries to "rescue" Lily from her crib while Mitchell hold steadfast. Cameron, a former football player, takes Mitchell out. In Cameron's own words, "I'm like a mother bear. When I hear my cub crying, I have to run to her."

When it comes to toddler sleep training, I'm the Cameron [though I probably couldn't take my husband out unless my adrenaline was really pumping]. I'm the mother bear who can't bear (no pun intended) to hear my cub crying herself to sleep. I have nothing against people who cry it out or use the Ferber method [which, in all honesty, if you read How to Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems, is not the same as the "Babywise" method of crying it out]. It's just not for me. My husband is a little bit of a Cameron, too, but he's more in the camp of telling me to let her cry it out, while he searches Amazon.com for ear plugs so he doesn't have to hear a peep.
Yes, I realize that sometimes babies have to cry and that toddler sleep training at some point becomes a necessity. But for me, while we have a toddler sleep schedule that works perfectly and everyone's getting a full night of sleep, it's not that important. So for now, I remain a mother bear à la Cameron Tucker, and I don't care who knows it!
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Pregnancy Diet - So No Supersizing?


Puck: Could you, like, not supersize everything? I'm not into dating fat chicks.
Quinn:  I am PREGNANT!
Puck:  And that's my fault?

I love it! For those of you who can't tell [oh, c'mon! I know I'm not the only Gleek], that quote is from Glee, the. Best. Show. On. Television. Quinn, former head cheerleader, is indeed pregnant, and her pregnancy diet apparently consists of McDonald's. And, yes, it IS Puck's fault she's pregnant -- at least partly (it takes two to tango, after all).

Interestingly, Glee never shows Quinn Fabray partaking of this super indulgent diet. I guess maybe because McDonalds hasn't paid for ad space? In fact, the only other recent mention on the show of Quinn's diet at all was a reference to some cayenne pepper/lemon juice concoction the Cheerios's coach, Sue Sylvester, forces the girls to drink so they stay skinny. That, obviously, would be just as bad a diet during pregnancy as supersizing everything (or putting chili, pineapples, and lemons on everything.. Ahem..). So it's probably a good thing Quinn is no longer a Cheerio.

I remember not so fondly one of my midwives reminding me as I gained five pounds (or seven, whatever) from one appointment to the next that I wasn't REALLY eating for two, and that my diet needed to be healthy if I wanted my baby to be healthy. She reminded me that the more weight I put on, the more weight I would have to lose postpartum. And she was right. I knew she was right back then. I didn't care at the time. Honestly, I still don't.
Seventeen months after giving birth, I am finally within two pounds of the weight I was at my first pregnancy appointment (at four weeks). It has been a long struggle to reverse the effects of my crappy pregnancy diet, but I wouldn't change a thing. Always an emotional eater, I was a happy preggo, stuffing my face with whatever pleased me (and my daughter). She was a healthy, heavy baby (an ounce shy of 9 pounds, two weeks early).
So although super sexy Puck may not be into dating "fat chicks" [which, btw, Quinn is not. Heck, she barely has a bump!], luckily for me, my husband was.
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How Not To Raise Your Teenage Daughter (Parenting Teen Girls Reality TV Style)



Monday was the season opener of the New Jersey franchise -- the guiltiest of pleasures. One of the moms, Jackie, has an 18-year old daughter. As I watched one particular uncomfortable exchange about sex, I realized this woman has executed a huge parental fail. Jackie kept repeating over and over - while discussing her daughter's way-too-old boyfriend, that she assumed they were having sex and hoped they were being safe, but she didn't want to know. You don't want to know?? Look, I get that you don't want to know all the gritty details of your kid's sex life, but shouldn't responsible parenting involve, oh, I don't know, a mature discussion about going on birth control or using condoms to prevent unwanted pregnancies or disease? How about you discuss how abstinence is preferred, but failing that, the health and safety of your child is your primary concern? Surely, have "the talk" with your kid should involve more than "I don't want to know" and "I don't really care." I thought it was teenage girls who were supposed to be apathetic, not their parents!

This display of parental fail continued throughout this horrible exchange. Jackie's daughter barely graduated high school and has now moved out of her parents' house, but hasn't attempted to enroll in college or get a job. "Shouldn't you, like, do something?" Jackie asks her daughter. Her daughter responds that she'd love a paycheck. Jackie does not inform her daughter that usually, unless one's occupation is Real Housewife of [random locale], one generally needs a job to receive a paycheck. There is no discussion of career options. In fact, there's no further discussion, period. Is this what we call good parenting these days? Seriously?!

Another example of stellar parenting on this premiere episode of New Jersey's sophomore season is Danielle. She loaded her kids in the car in the middle of the night to circle the Jersey highways, verging on stalking another housewife's $1000 per plate party, all the while proclaiming, "I don't care that they didn't invite me. But I just want to go see." The crazy behavior didn't stop until her daughters had pled with her for what felt like forever to just please go back home. So instead of parenting her girls, Danielle's teenagers are parenting her?? I'd say HUGE parent fail... The first of many, I'm sure.

Look, I get it, my child is nowhere close to being a teen, so I have not yet had to deal with the discomfort of having "the talk" or getting to that oint where my child is truly leeching off me. But I hope when we do get to that age, we can have a mature and honest discussion, which doesn't sound like two teens each trying to whine louder than the other; and I'm certain I would never as Pop Culture Teen to be an accomplice in childish and possibly illegal behavior. /rant

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