People Will Apparently Believe Anything (Odd Baby Names)
I was listening to a replay of an earlier episode of Lance Bass's Dirty Pop the other day, and Lance and his co-hosts were talking about the Tennessee judge who changed a child's name from "Messiah" to "Martin." This topic lead into a discussion of weird baby names people have heard, and several people called in with some whoppers. And when I mean whoppers, I mean these were outright lies.
What is it about you teachers and nurses (the biggest offenders) that you apparently think your job isn't interest enough on its own that you have to make up names of students? I'm not saying teachers and nurses don't have interesting jobs. In fact, most of the teachers and nurses I know have much better war stories (assuming any of them are true) than pretty much any other profession I've met. But either you people are so greedy that you want to have a lock on "In addition to all the crazy stories I can tell you about my day, let me tell you this name I heard!" or you for some reason think that the rest of the world finds your job so boring that you're just making up stuff. Either that, or you're pathological liars. I dunno. But nearly everyone of these obviously fake "baby names" that are easily debunked by anyone who wants to spend 10 seconds on Google come from a nurse, a teacher, or a person who heard the name from a nurse or teacher. Heck, even my own mother used to make up these, "There's a child at my school named [insert name that's never appeared in the U.S. birth records ever]. Her mom is so uneducated she didn't know what it meant!"
So what were the baby names (and how they were pronounced) reported by teachers, nurses, and friends of teachers/nurses to the Dirty Pop crew? Shithead (shah-threed), La-a (lah-dash-ah), twins named Lemonjello and Orangejello (lu-mon-jah-lo and oh-ron-jah-lo), Placenta (play-ceen-tah), and Meconium (mek-oh-nam). Seriously?! Not only have everybody and their grandmothers heard these urban legend child names before, but Snopes has debunked Every. Single. One. Of. Them. The only name missing from this "common urban legend" list was Female (fem-uh-lee; rhymes with "Emily").
There were a couple of reported names that were probably real, like Dick Wiener (Richard Wiener is easy to believe. Not to mention, there was once a mayor in Indiana named Harry Baals, and the "First Lady" of my home state of Texas was named Ima Hogg). And there was at least one name that I completely called bullshit on, which turns out is actually real... because people suck [that name, in case you were wondering is Abcde (ab-sa-duh), which, while apparently a real name, is claimed to belong to someone actually known to the reporter more often than the vital records would support. That's just lazy, people! (and stupid)].
Overwhelmingly, though, these names were clearly and lazily made up. Just the fact that Snopes has two articles on them, and I've heard no less than a dozen comedy routines using a number of these names is proof positive that people need to find new material. If you're going to make things up, at least be original! Though, really, I would prefer people just didn't make these things up. There are enough people in the world with unbelievably horrible names because of their parents' stupidity, that you really shouldn't even need to make up names. Not to mention, as the Snopes writer points out, many of these names have their origins in racism. Even if these urban legends aren't thought of as racist in today's times, they are, at best, classist. Personally, I don't find it particularly amusing to make fun of people because they are poor and have low education.
Now, a note about Messiah:
Look, it's no secret that I loathe kr8v names. But that judge was way over the line. In addition to the complete overstepping of her bounds [the only issue before her was the baby's last name, not his first], her reasoning for the name change really bothers me. "There's only one Messiah" smacks the legal system stepping its bounds into religion. Since the government shall establish no religion, and there's only one religion that believes there has been the one Messiah, it sure looks like that judge was establishing a religion in violation of the First Amendment. I don't foresee this withstanding appeal. I'm not a fan of naming a kid Messiah, but that wasn't this judge's call to make.
What is it about you teachers and nurses (the biggest offenders) that you apparently think your job isn't interest enough on its own that you have to make up names of students? I'm not saying teachers and nurses don't have interesting jobs. In fact, most of the teachers and nurses I know have much better war stories (assuming any of them are true) than pretty much any other profession I've met. But either you people are so greedy that you want to have a lock on "In addition to all the crazy stories I can tell you about my day, let me tell you this name I heard!" or you for some reason think that the rest of the world finds your job so boring that you're just making up stuff. Either that, or you're pathological liars. I dunno. But nearly everyone of these obviously fake "baby names" that are easily debunked by anyone who wants to spend 10 seconds on Google come from a nurse, a teacher, or a person who heard the name from a nurse or teacher. Heck, even my own mother used to make up these, "There's a child at my school named [insert name that's never appeared in the U.S. birth records ever]. Her mom is so uneducated she didn't know what it meant!"
So what were the baby names (and how they were pronounced) reported by teachers, nurses, and friends of teachers/nurses to the Dirty Pop crew? Shithead (shah-threed), La-a (lah-dash-ah), twins named Lemonjello and Orangejello (lu-mon-jah-lo and oh-ron-jah-lo), Placenta (play-ceen-tah), and Meconium (mek-oh-nam). Seriously?! Not only have everybody and their grandmothers heard these urban legend child names before, but Snopes has debunked Every. Single. One. Of. Them. The only name missing from this "common urban legend" list was Female (fem-uh-lee; rhymes with "Emily").
There were a couple of reported names that were probably real, like Dick Wiener (Richard Wiener is easy to believe. Not to mention, there was once a mayor in Indiana named Harry Baals, and the "First Lady" of my home state of Texas was named Ima Hogg). And there was at least one name that I completely called bullshit on, which turns out is actually real... because people suck [that name, in case you were wondering is Abcde (ab-sa-duh), which, while apparently a real name, is claimed to belong to someone actually known to the reporter more often than the vital records would support. That's just lazy, people! (and stupid)].
Overwhelmingly, though, these names were clearly and lazily made up. Just the fact that Snopes has two articles on them, and I've heard no less than a dozen comedy routines using a number of these names is proof positive that people need to find new material. If you're going to make things up, at least be original! Though, really, I would prefer people just didn't make these things up. There are enough people in the world with unbelievably horrible names because of their parents' stupidity, that you really shouldn't even need to make up names. Not to mention, as the Snopes writer points out, many of these names have their origins in racism. Even if these urban legends aren't thought of as racist in today's times, they are, at best, classist. Personally, I don't find it particularly amusing to make fun of people because they are poor and have low education.
Now, a note about Messiah:
Look, it's no secret that I loathe kr8v names. But that judge was way over the line. In addition to the complete overstepping of her bounds [the only issue before her was the baby's last name, not his first], her reasoning for the name change really bothers me. "There's only one Messiah" smacks the legal system stepping its bounds into religion. Since the government shall establish no religion, and there's only one religion that believes there has been the one Messiah, it sure looks like that judge was establishing a religion in violation of the First Amendment. I don't foresee this withstanding appeal. I'm not a fan of naming a kid Messiah, but that wasn't this judge's call to make.
 |
| (Heidi Wigdahl / Associated Press) Sorry, little guy. Whatever your name is, you sure are cute. |
What's in a Name? A Lot, Actually
On las week's episode of Castle, Beckett and Castle had to find and question a witness named Bram Stoker. Yes, as in "Bram Stoker's Dracula." Once they found Mr. Stoker, this was the exchange:
As someone with... er... an unusual first name (and middle name, for that matter), I totally get this "not cute" sentiment. I'm sure back in 1977, my normal-named parents thought that giving me such an odd name would make me stand out in a crowd. While they were right, that standing out wasn't always a good thing.
Although my name makes perfect phonetic sense, it is almost always mispronounced. In fact, it is so commonly mispronounced that I am always shocked when someone says it correctly the first time. For one thing, people are always adding letters to and/or subtracting letters from my name in order to make it conform to a more common or known name or at least something that makes some sense. Although I always find this a little lazy (especially when people are pronouncing letters that are clearly not present and not even close to the actual letters in my name), I totally get why the human brain does that.
Reading is partly phonetics and partly memorization. There's a reason why preschoolers are taught "sight words." These are the words that you will just know upon sight, without your brain actually parsing out the individual components. However, we also have to learn phonetics, otherwise you would never know how to actually read a word that you have never encountered. So when you see a name that you've never seen before, one part of your brain focuses on phonetics while another (or the same part. I dunno. I'm a lawyer, not a scientist) tries to conjure up memories of a similar name you may have seen and pronounced before. So when you see an unusual name like mine, which has components of real names [since my parents creatively and tragically put their names together to derive mine], whether or not you stand a chance of pronouncing it correctly depends on if memorization or phonetics reigned dominant.
In addition to the pronunciation issue, one thing my parents clearly didn't think of when naming me was the Playground Test—ya know, that test that tells you how easy it would be for hateful, taunting children (which is pretty much all of them at a certain age) to come up with jeers for your child based solely on what rhymes or is easily associated with his or her name. For example, naming your non-German kid Adolf. My name easily lends itself to rhyming-based teasing. In fact, it is so easy to come up with a tease, that on a recent job interview, one of the interviewers asked me if I got teased a lot in elementary and middle school... and then she quickly guessed what three of the common taunts were.
Another issue my parents didn't think of when naming me? The resumé test. As many black professionals born in the 70s and 80s will tell you, many of our parents, completely high and giddy on the fruits of the black power movement did not really think about the fact that some day, two decades in the future, their children would have to compete in a world where we are submitting resumés along with caucasian and others whose parents weren't so creative (or kr8tv) in naming them. So, yes, while it isn't fair, there was definitely a huge period of time (and in some industries is is still the case) where a Laqueeshya, Tenequia, or Dramé would not stand the chance of having his or her resumé viewed alongside a Susan, Debbie, or John. The funny thing is, most of the parents who gave their children these awful names (my own included) have perfectly, generically normal names. These days, things have evened out. White and non-white people alike are just as likely to give their children crazy, unusual names (Pilot Inspektor, anyone?) or otherwise perfectly normal names with kr8tv spellings (How does one pronounce "Asthyleigh," exactly?). But does that make it any better?
Quite honestly, unless you're wealthy and/or famous... or if you simply don't plan on having a white-collar type career, names actually do matter. I know people who love unusual names or kr8v spellings will disagree with me, but as someone who has lived it and knows many others who have, most of us unusually named children didn't find our parents' kr8vitee remotely cute. We have always had to overcome that initial shock when someone sees or hears our name for the first time ["Well... um... that's... um... interesting! Is it a family name?"]. Instead of our first impression being created by the energy or personality we bring into the room, we are instead first judged on a crazy decision our parents made decades before. Sure, many (heck, probably even most) kids—even those with the most normal names—may dislike or hate their names, but there's a big difference between hating your name and being forced to overcome your name.
I'm not saying don't name your kids what you want. That's only something you and your significant other (if any) can decide. I'm saying just give it some thought beyond what you think is "cute" or "fun" at a given moment in time. Because that name you give (on average) less than nine months of contemplation is going to stay with another human being for the rest of his or her life. And if, in the end, you decide your desire for quirky and funny outweighs any angst your child may have over that name in the future, at least give them the option my parents deprived me: a normal middle name or nickname (even if tacked on as an afterthought after another unusual middle name) s/he can use in the alternative!
Becket: Excuse me? Bram Stoker?
Bram: Yeah.
Beckett: Det. Kate Beckett, NYPD
Castle: And might I say how youthful you look.
Bram: [sarcastically] Witty! Never heard that before.
Castle: I've never heard anyone named Bram Stoker before. Except... Bram Stoker.
Bram: Apparently, he's a distant relative, and both my parents were English scholars. They thought it'd be cute. It wasn't. So what's this about?
As someone with... er... an unusual first name (and middle name, for that matter), I totally get this "not cute" sentiment. I'm sure back in 1977, my normal-named parents thought that giving me such an odd name would make me stand out in a crowd. While they were right, that standing out wasn't always a good thing.
Although my name makes perfect phonetic sense, it is almost always mispronounced. In fact, it is so commonly mispronounced that I am always shocked when someone says it correctly the first time. For one thing, people are always adding letters to and/or subtracting letters from my name in order to make it conform to a more common or known name or at least something that makes some sense. Although I always find this a little lazy (especially when people are pronouncing letters that are clearly not present and not even close to the actual letters in my name), I totally get why the human brain does that.
Reading is partly phonetics and partly memorization. There's a reason why preschoolers are taught "sight words." These are the words that you will just know upon sight, without your brain actually parsing out the individual components. However, we also have to learn phonetics, otherwise you would never know how to actually read a word that you have never encountered. So when you see a name that you've never seen before, one part of your brain focuses on phonetics while another (or the same part. I dunno. I'm a lawyer, not a scientist) tries to conjure up memories of a similar name you may have seen and pronounced before. So when you see an unusual name like mine, which has components of real names [since my parents creatively and tragically put their names together to derive mine], whether or not you stand a chance of pronouncing it correctly depends on if memorization or phonetics reigned dominant.
In addition to the pronunciation issue, one thing my parents clearly didn't think of when naming me was the Playground Test—ya know, that test that tells you how easy it would be for hateful, taunting children (which is pretty much all of them at a certain age) to come up with jeers for your child based solely on what rhymes or is easily associated with his or her name. For example, naming your non-German kid Adolf. My name easily lends itself to rhyming-based teasing. In fact, it is so easy to come up with a tease, that on a recent job interview, one of the interviewers asked me if I got teased a lot in elementary and middle school... and then she quickly guessed what three of the common taunts were.
Another issue my parents didn't think of when naming me? The resumé test. As many black professionals born in the 70s and 80s will tell you, many of our parents, completely high and giddy on the fruits of the black power movement did not really think about the fact that some day, two decades in the future, their children would have to compete in a world where we are submitting resumés along with caucasian and others whose parents weren't so creative (or kr8tv) in naming them. So, yes, while it isn't fair, there was definitely a huge period of time (and in some industries is is still the case) where a Laqueeshya, Tenequia, or Dramé would not stand the chance of having his or her resumé viewed alongside a Susan, Debbie, or John. The funny thing is, most of the parents who gave their children these awful names (my own included) have perfectly, generically normal names. These days, things have evened out. White and non-white people alike are just as likely to give their children crazy, unusual names (Pilot Inspektor, anyone?) or otherwise perfectly normal names with kr8tv spellings (How does one pronounce "Asthyleigh," exactly?). But does that make it any better?
Quite honestly, unless you're wealthy and/or famous... or if you simply don't plan on having a white-collar type career, names actually do matter. I know people who love unusual names or kr8v spellings will disagree with me, but as someone who has lived it and knows many others who have, most of us unusually named children didn't find our parents' kr8vitee remotely cute. We have always had to overcome that initial shock when someone sees or hears our name for the first time ["Well... um... that's... um... interesting! Is it a family name?"]. Instead of our first impression being created by the energy or personality we bring into the room, we are instead first judged on a crazy decision our parents made decades before. Sure, many (heck, probably even most) kids—even those with the most normal names—may dislike or hate their names, but there's a big difference between hating your name and being forced to overcome your name.
I'm not saying don't name your kids what you want. That's only something you and your significant other (if any) can decide. I'm saying just give it some thought beyond what you think is "cute" or "fun" at a given moment in time. Because that name you give (on average) less than nine months of contemplation is going to stay with another human being for the rest of his or her life. And if, in the end, you decide your desire for quirky and funny outweighs any angst your child may have over that name in the future, at least give them the option my parents deprived me: a normal middle name or nickname (even if tacked on as an afterthought after another unusual middle name) s/he can use in the alternative!
App Review: Baby's Touch
Developer: Ironpaper
Platform: iPhone 3GS & higher, iPod Touch - 3rd generation and higher, iPad. iOS 5 required
Price: $0.99
Rating: ★★★★☆ (4 out of 5)
^^ That is what Pop Culture Dad said the first time he saw Pop Culture Toddler2 playing with Baby's Touch. His sentiment accurately reflects my feelings about it. So if the game is "perfect," why only four stars? Well, just because it is so pointless and mindless, that I have to reserve the one star for the main thing I usually look for in kids' apps—education.
Don't get me wrong, though. I love this app. PCT2 loves this app. Heck, even my four year old has entertained herself playing with it. Okay, okay, I'll confess. Even I have played it when the kids aren't around. It's just cute and fun.
For those who don't know me, I'm an app whore (pardon my French). I have a gazillion apps on my iPhone and iPad, and if any developer asks me if I want to play around with their app, my answer is always yes [well, almost. Don't send me any porn or religion apps, okay?]. A lot of these don't work out. Some of these come with a warning, "Do you really want me to review this? Because... uh... it's not gonna be good." (Notice there aren't a huge amount of reviews for apps I've been given? Yeah... There's a reason, unfortunately). So my expectations always start out low, especially when a developer warns me that it is just a simple game with no complexities at all. My, how he sold himself short!
The day after I downloaded the Baby Touch app, PCT2 became the first member of my family to fall victim to the nasty stomach virus going around the girls' daycare/preschool. She got sick on my way to bring them in, and, in a classic example of Murphy's Law, on a day where I had too many things going on at work to stay home. So I had to come up with ways to distract her in my office[1] until Pop Culture Dad could leave his office to pick her up while I furiously did research on Westlaw.
While PCT2 was busying herself tearing up my office, I thought "Hm.... Maybe this would be the perfect time to try out that new app?" It was. Witness:
As you can see, there is practically nothing to this game. She touches the screen, bubbles, rainbows, clouds or stars pop out with sounds and dings, she touches them, they disappear, and the process starts all over again. So simple. So mindless. And for a toddler? So. Freaking. PERFECT.
At least twice a day, PCT2 points to my iPad and says,"Bubble?". It is one of only two games she prefers to keep on rotation.
As I stated earlier, if there was any educational value to this game, I would consider it absolutely perfect from a mom's perspective. In any event, if you want something that is just awesome and entertaining for your baby or toddler, this is it.
____
[1] Door closed, because I'm not a jerk.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Platform: iPhone 3GS & higher, iPod Touch - 3rd generation and higher, iPad. iOS 5 required
Price: $0.99
Rating: ★★★★☆ (4 out of 5)
"This is so pointless... so mindless... so PERFECT!"
^^ That is what Pop Culture Dad said the first time he saw Pop Culture Toddler2 playing with Baby's Touch. His sentiment accurately reflects my feelings about it. So if the game is "perfect," why only four stars? Well, just because it is so pointless and mindless, that I have to reserve the one star for the main thing I usually look for in kids' apps—education.
Don't get me wrong, though. I love this app. PCT2 loves this app. Heck, even my four year old has entertained herself playing with it. Okay, okay, I'll confess. Even I have played it when the kids aren't around. It's just cute and fun.
For those who don't know me, I'm an app whore (pardon my French). I have a gazillion apps on my iPhone and iPad, and if any developer asks me if I want to play around with their app, my answer is always yes [well, almost. Don't send me any porn or religion apps, okay?]. A lot of these don't work out. Some of these come with a warning, "Do you really want me to review this? Because... uh... it's not gonna be good." (Notice there aren't a huge amount of reviews for apps I've been given? Yeah... There's a reason, unfortunately). So my expectations always start out low, especially when a developer warns me that it is just a simple game with no complexities at all. My, how he sold himself short!
The day after I downloaded the Baby Touch app, PCT2 became the first member of my family to fall victim to the nasty stomach virus going around the girls' daycare/preschool. She got sick on my way to bring them in, and, in a classic example of Murphy's Law, on a day where I had too many things going on at work to stay home. So I had to come up with ways to distract her in my office[1] until Pop Culture Dad could leave his office to pick her up while I furiously did research on Westlaw.
While PCT2 was busying herself tearing up my office, I thought "Hm.... Maybe this would be the perfect time to try out that new app?" It was. Witness:
As you can see, there is practically nothing to this game. She touches the screen, bubbles, rainbows, clouds or stars pop out with sounds and dings, she touches them, they disappear, and the process starts all over again. So simple. So mindless. And for a toddler? So. Freaking. PERFECT.
At least twice a day, PCT2 points to my iPad and says,"Bubble?". It is one of only two games she prefers to keep on rotation.
As I stated earlier, if there was any educational value to this game, I would consider it absolutely perfect from a mom's perspective. In any event, if you want something that is just awesome and entertaining for your baby or toddler, this is it.
____
[1] Door closed, because I'm not a jerk.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
PSA for the Day: Your Sick Kids
This morning I was getting Pop Culture Preschooler settled in at the breakfast table at school, and one of her little friends announced to the table, "I'm eating a lot, because I throwed up." I said something like, "Oh you got the stomach bug last week, too?". One of the teachers worriedly rushed over and asked the little girl when she was sick (I'm guessing because she hasn't missed a day of school?). The girl announced, "This morning. And my tummy still hurts."
Parents, this shit is not cute. It is not like, with the stomach virus creeping around the country and half the kids and teachers at the school out with the virus at one point or another over the last two weeks, you didn't know when you saw your kid vomit that it was probably something contagious and not just your bad cooking. My kids and hubby were all sick for an entire week because of the bug going around. I have friends all around the U.S. and Canada who have had their families infected with it. This virus is not fun, and, trust me, no one wants it.
This crap wouldn't spread so fast if when your kid throws up in the morning, you KEPT HIM/HER AT HOME. Do not bring them to school in the hope that if they don't throw up again, no one will know. If the school calls you and tells you your kid threw up PICK HIM/HER UP. Immediately. Do not let them finish out the rest of the day. I don't care what time it is. Every hour your sick kid is at school is another opportunity to infect other kids.
It isn't fair to spread a nasty virus to 30 other kids in the class, and subsequently their siblings and parents, just because you don't want to use up a couple of sick days. Yes, we all hate to miss work. But this is one case where misery should not love company. Don't be an asshole.
/rant
Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Parents, this shit is not cute. It is not like, with the stomach virus creeping around the country and half the kids and teachers at the school out with the virus at one point or another over the last two weeks, you didn't know when you saw your kid vomit that it was probably something contagious and not just your bad cooking. My kids and hubby were all sick for an entire week because of the bug going around. I have friends all around the U.S. and Canada who have had their families infected with it. This virus is not fun, and, trust me, no one wants it.
This crap wouldn't spread so fast if when your kid throws up in the morning, you KEPT HIM/HER AT HOME. Do not bring them to school in the hope that if they don't throw up again, no one will know. If the school calls you and tells you your kid threw up PICK HIM/HER UP. Immediately. Do not let them finish out the rest of the day. I don't care what time it is. Every hour your sick kid is at school is another opportunity to infect other kids.
It isn't fair to spread a nasty virus to 30 other kids in the class, and subsequently their siblings and parents, just because you don't want to use up a couple of sick days. Yes, we all hate to miss work. But this is one case where misery should not love company. Don't be an asshole.
/rant
Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Porsha Picks Her Baby (RHOA)
After the AMAs last night, I started catching up on the Real Housewives of Atlanta. Wow. The new chicks.... just... wow.
Kenya is clearly cray cray, and there isn't much to be said about her that hasn't been said already. But Porsha? Oh wow... This girl is a perky little something.
The whole time she was telling Kenya about her desire for children, I kept thinking to myself, Is she 12 years old?. Even beyond the peppy enthusiasm and rambling, I mean, really. You rarely hear grown women talk that way. She wants kids (okay). Sooner rather than later (fine). Preferably twins so she doesn't have to be pregnant multiple times (okie doke. Good luck with that). Her hubby wants a boy and she wants a girl (that's normal). So she's going to have the boy first and then a girl (wait, what now?). And when Kenya points out that usually one does not have control over these things, she responds that she's just going to use the Chinese gender predictor to plan her boy and girl. (alllllrighty then...).
I get saying things like, "Ideally, I would like a boy and a girl." But saying what sex she was going to have, and even going so far as to treat the Chinese gender prediction test as though it is honestly a reliable and proven gender prediction technique is just... I can't... Do grown people do this???
If you are not familiar with it, the Chinese Gender Prediction test is a real thing. Based on the mom's lunar age and lunar month in which the baby is conceived, the test tells you what gender it should be. That's right, Porsha Stewart is putting stock in the fact that every woman her lunar age who conceives the same month as her will have the same-gendered babies. Sounds legit.
This gender predictor claims to be 90% accurate. In reality, it is—like all methods of predicting gender in a single-birth or identical twin scenario—50% accurate.
According to the Chinese Gender Predictor, I should have one girl and one boy. In fact, Pop Culture Toddler 2 was conceived smack in the middle of a three-month period that should result in a boy. Guess she missed the memo?
Seriously, what is the logic here? Some ancient Chinese secret from the cosmos? It doesn't even make any sense statistically.
And what about fraternal twins [like the ones Porsha so desperately wants... I am assuming there must be some family history or she is planning on the aid of fertility drugs, since she is clearly not of such advanced maternal age that she has a heightened risk of fraternal twins] and other multiples? Where do they factor? By this theory, they should always be the same gender.
Look, I have no problem with gender prediction methods and old wives' takes when they are used for fun only, and not treated as a serious endeavor. I can even understand people trying things like the Shettles Method or anything that has at least some basis in science (whether or not it is actually accurate). But some random chart that you found online that says every 31-year old woman who conceives in "lunar" February in any given year will have a girl?? C'mon now!
Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Kenya is clearly cray cray, and there isn't much to be said about her that hasn't been said already. But Porsha? Oh wow... This girl is a perky little something.
The whole time she was telling Kenya about her desire for children, I kept thinking to myself, Is she 12 years old?. Even beyond the peppy enthusiasm and rambling, I mean, really. You rarely hear grown women talk that way. She wants kids (okay). Sooner rather than later (fine). Preferably twins so she doesn't have to be pregnant multiple times (okie doke. Good luck with that). Her hubby wants a boy and she wants a girl (that's normal). So she's going to have the boy first and then a girl (wait, what now?). And when Kenya points out that usually one does not have control over these things, she responds that she's just going to use the Chinese gender predictor to plan her boy and girl. (alllllrighty then...).
I get saying things like, "Ideally, I would like a boy and a girl." But saying what sex she was going to have, and even going so far as to treat the Chinese gender prediction test as though it is honestly a reliable and proven gender prediction technique is just... I can't... Do grown people do this???
If you are not familiar with it, the Chinese Gender Prediction test is a real thing. Based on the mom's lunar age and lunar month in which the baby is conceived, the test tells you what gender it should be. That's right, Porsha Stewart is putting stock in the fact that every woman her lunar age who conceives the same month as her will have the same-gendered babies. Sounds legit
This gender predictor claims to be 90% accurate. In reality, it is—like all methods of predicting gender in a single-birth or identical twin scenario—50% accurate.
According to the Chinese Gender Predictor, I should have one girl and one boy. In fact, Pop Culture Toddler 2 was conceived smack in the middle of a three-month period that should result in a boy. Guess she missed the memo?
Seriously, what is the logic here? Some ancient Chinese secret from the cosmos? It doesn't even make any sense statistically.
And what about fraternal twins [like the ones Porsha so desperately wants... I am assuming there must be some family history or she is planning on the aid of fertility drugs, since she is clearly not of such advanced maternal age that she has a heightened risk of fraternal twins] and other multiples? Where do they factor? By this theory, they should always be the same gender.
Look, I have no problem with gender prediction methods and old wives' takes when they are used for fun only, and not treated as a serious endeavor. I can even understand people trying things like the Shettles Method or anything that has at least some basis in science (whether or not it is actually accurate). But some random chart that you found online that says every 31-year old woman who conceives in "lunar" February in any given year will have a girl?? C'mon now!
Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
If I Can Pin It, I CAN Do It: Pop Culture Toddler 2's First Birthday Party
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I started party planning mode months in advance. At first, I was set on doing a Lil' Angels theme after finding some of the decorations on clearance at Party City. I polled my gal pals about it. Most thought it was cute, but one thought skulls were a little morbid for a baby's birthday party. Although I disagree, I could see how some of my family members would have also had that viewpoint. Besides, after looking at and Pinning some of the Lil' Angel decorations to my Pinterest board for kids' birthday ideas, another idea was forming in my head.
PCT2 is such a little rock star. Early on, my friends gave her the nickname Super Baby. She was so ahead of everything, and so happy while doing it. She is honestly as close to perfect as a kid can come (minus her lack of sense of self-preservation). A rock star birthday seemed just too perfect for her. And, well, since we are practically the house that Sanrio built, a Hello Kitty rock star theme seemed perfect. I got to websurfing and Pinning.
I found a lot of great ideas online, but wasn't sure how I was going to pull them off. That led me to starting the decorations two months before PCT2's birthday, so I would have ample time to start over if I messed up.
The first thing I did were the invitations. I found some pink and black argyle images/digital scrapbook paper on Etsy. As I blogged about previously, I designed the invitations with an app on my iPad. I bought some 5x7 invitation paper to print them out (with gorgeous hot pink envelopes to match). When I had trouble getting the print settings perfect (going from iPad to PC), I got some help from one of my mommy board pals, Sweets4ever at Craftster.
The invitations were my starting point for the rest of the decorations. I found some a Hello Kitty buttons on Etsy also. While they never printed properly as 1" buttons, they did provide me with great backdrops for my other decorations. One of my favorite Hello Kitty rock star designs (the same one on the invite) served as the base for the lollipop decorations, some of the hanging decorations, the wall posters and the favor boxes.
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| Photo by M Photography |
Hanging and Wall Decorations
The second long-term design project were the aforementioned hanging decorations. Initially I thought about buying those Lil' Angel hangers in the clearance bin and pasting Hello Kitty over the skulls. I figured out, however, I could do it on my own. I got circular and scalloped punches in varying sizes. At night when everyone was asleep (I work, after all), I would sit up in bed punching out the Hello Kitty's and various plain black circles with either PCT2's name or a "1" on them and plain circles or scallops on either the argyle pattern, black, or silver sparkles. Once a had a quart-size Ziplock bag completely full of punched-out paper, I started matching various shapes, sizes and designs until I was happy. I then bough decorating ribbon in black, pink and silver, and spent my nights gluing and taping my designs. The result were hanging ribbon decorations with three circles on each. I saved the remaining paper cut outs for other decorations.I also bought several balloons to hang. We are in the process of selling our house, so the last thing I wanted to do is have tape and push puns everywhere. However, thanks to the helium shortage, my vision of floating balloon everywhere had to be curtailed. I did manage to procure two tanks, one of which was used almost exclusively on three gigantic mylar balloons shaped like the number one.
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| Photo by M Photography |
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| Photo by M Photography |
Candy Bar
I was desperate to do a candy bar. I always love seeing them at parties, and there were some very cool-looking ideas on Pinterest. However, I didn't want to spend three-figures making one. I bought some satin pink polka dot fabric on eBay to use as a table cloth and jars from the dollar store. I found pink and black candies on Amazon.com and from various candy wholesalers online. I also found some raspberry M&Ms in varying shades of dark pink and licorice bites from my local Super Target. I decorated the glass jars with ribbons I bought from Michael's and the punched-out designs I had made previously. For the lollipops, I got some flower decorating foam boards and wrapped them in black tissue paper, putting ribbons around one layer and pink and black argyle duct tape around the other. The personalized stickers on the lollipops were created on Microsoft Word with Avery 1" round labels. I took my favorite Hello Kitty button design and used Word to personalize the circle around her.
We will reuse the jars and the fabric. I can't sew to save my life, but my mother is very good at it and plans to make the girls dresses with the fabric.
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| Photo by M Photography |
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| Photo by M Photography |
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| Photo by M Photography |
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| Photo by M Photography |
Favor Boxes
I found cheap hot pink and black boxes on Amazon and used the same Hello Kitty design, but on the 2" Avery stickers to decorate the favor boxes. The favor boxes were all empty for the kids to fill up with cookies (see below) and candy from the candy bar.
Cookies
I bought some Hello Kitty cookie cutters from Sanrio.com and a guitar cookie cutter from Amazon. I already had the star [honestly, I can't believe we didn't have a Hello Kitty cookie cutter before now!]. I baked several dozen cookies and frosted them all. 
For the packaging, I got Avery Printable Bag Toppers, which also came with the plastic bags. They perfectly fit all of my oversized cookies, except for a couple of the guitars, which had spread when baked. Most of those broke in half as I was trying to get them into the bags, anyway, so it all worked out. I also had some trouble with the black cookie frosting refusing to harden, but over all, the cookies weren't bad. My mom assumed I had bought them somewhere, so I take that as a compliment. |
Water Bottles
Thank you, Pinterest! I made the water bottles by removing the existing labels from water bottles and putting pink and black argyle duct tape where the labels used to be. They matched the party beautifully, and unlike paper labels you make yourself, these could go in a cooler without being destroyed.
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| Photo by M Photography |
Cake and Smash Cake
I take no credit for the actual birthday cake. After getting custom cake quotes that were way out of budget for a one-year old birthday party, I contacted a coworker of mine, who was the person who made Pop Culture Preschooler's first birthday cake [a cute princess castle; after the first birthday, we stick to sheet cakes from the grocery store]. I sent her the invitation design and asked what she thought she could do with it. She told me she would try a few things, but had never used fondant before. I set my expectations low. When she arrived with the cake on PCT2's birthday, I nearly fell over. The cake arrived in four beautiful parts, ready to be assembled. The last two parts of the cake were the Hello Kitty (head and body)—the part of the cake we were both worried wouldn't work. I had already bought s plush Hello Kitty to use as a cake topper just in case. No need. This Kitty was (is) FABULOUS. She's also edible (made of Rice Krispie treats on the inside). However, we won't touch her. She is too beautiful to eat. [okay, okay... We did crack open her body at work. Delish!]
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| Photo by M Photography |
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| All photos by M Photography |
My smash cake did not go as well, though. No matter. Its purpose was to be demolished! I am proud of myself for figuring out how to (kind of) use fondant, though. And PCT2 sure didn't seem to mind!
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| Photo by M Photography |
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| Photo by M Photography |
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| Photo by M Photography |
Birthday Board
This is one of my proudest Pinterest-inspired creations. I spent weeks playing around with fonts on my computer and drawing things out on my iPad and by hand until I was satisfied with how the board would look. Initially I wanted to do a chalkboard with chalk markers, but I couldn't find a board with a frame I liked. So I settled instead on a black canvas with paint markers.
Some of my numbers proved wrong at the well-baby checkup the next day (she's actually 30.25" long and 19 lbs 12 oz), but it still looks good.
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| Photo by M Photography |
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| Photo by M Photography |
Pictures
Special thanks to my friend Mirna at M Photography for taking pictures. Mirna does all of our family pictures, and she totally rocks! If anyone is in the Houston area, I highly recommend you give her a call!
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| Pop Culture Preschooler ready to rock out. Photo by M Photography |
Note: any picture that doesn't say "Photo by M Photography" under it was taken with my iPad (that's why the quality isn't as good).
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
A Trip Down Memory Lane: 2009 Blog Posts About Infant Ear Piercing
In honor of the fact that I recently called and made the appointment with our pediatrician's office to have Pop Culture Baby(2)'s ears pierced with her first-year well-baby checkup, I am re-sharing (with minor edits) my blog posts about our experience the first time around. These originally appeared on WTE back in my former life as a Featured Blogger on that site. Enjoy the trip down memory lane!
February 27, 2009
Infant Ear Piercing – A Cultural Issue?
I had never considered infant ear piercing a hot topic until I joined the What to Expect boards. I always considered infant ear piercing second nature. I had my ears pierced when I was only a few months old. Every girl in my family had her ears pierced as an infant. All of my friends with girls clearly have no problem with infant ear piercing, because all of their daughters had their ears pierced as babies.
But when I was pregnant, I joined these boards and witnessed moms-to-be (and at least one dad) arguing with each other over the issue of infant ear piercing. I began to wonder, Am I missing something? I mean, why was everyone so passionate about such a non-issue?
Slowly, I began to notice a pattern. The people who were so dead-set against infant ear piercing were largely (though certainly not exclusively) Caucasian, Christian and American (hereinafter, “CCA," solely for the purpose of abbreviation, and not for any other reason). Ear piercing by many of these women was couched in terms of a “bonding experience” or something you do when your daughter “asks for it.” Maybe it’s a cultural thing, but I’ve never seen ear piercing as something to bond over. I’ve gone with my older sister when she got her ears pierced (a re-piercing), my mom when she got hers done (a second hole), and even my dad when he got his done (suspected mid-life crisis), but never did it seem like something you bond over. I just didn’t get what the big deal was. And as far as asking, I grew up with the mentality that kids don’t get things just because they asked for it, nor do they get to opt out of things simply because they don’t [dinnertime would have been really different growing up if I could have just opted out of things]. I’m not questioning people who think that way – far from it – I’m just saying there’s a different cultural perspective on it.
Most of the parents I know who don’t think infant ear piercing is a big deal are not CCA – we’re each missing at least one part of the acronym. Yes, I have friends who are CCA who don’t consider it a big deal, but they seem to be small in number. Pop Culture Dad is CCA (kind of), and he was at first against getting Pop Culture Baby(1)’s ears pierced just because he had “never heard of it.” After taking a survey of my family and our friends and co-workers who, like me, are not CCA, he began to understand that a lot of people don’t think infant ear piercing is a big deal. He, too, concluded it must be a cultural thing; and since our daughter is a reflection of her mixed backgrounds, he is now on board with piercing her ears.
When we get Pop Culture Baby(1)'s ears pierced, my husband is going to go with us. It won’t be a bonding experience, but we both want to be there with her to hold her little hands. We would have gotten it done already, but Pop Culture Baby(1) has this bad habit of pulling her ears. My hubby and I have agreed that when she stops doing that, we will pierce her ears.
To each his/her own. If you don’t like the idea of infant ear piercing, don’t do it. But don’t tell me or anyone else something’s wrong with our families because we do. Like many traditions, this seems to be an issue that varies among families and perhaps even cultures. So embrace your own traditions, and don’t stress about what goes on with other’s.
Pop Culture Mom After-Notes:
When this piece was originally written, it became one of my most talked about and controversial postings. Apparently, just mentioning something about which people have such widely varying (and strong!) opinions gives them a desire to talk (passionately) about those varying opinions. Honestly, only half the mothers who expressed opinions on this piece addressed my initial inquiry about whether or not the opinions were the result of cultural differences. From a survey of those comments, it seems I missed one part of the equation: for those moms in the CCA category who have no problem with earrings on infants, they were largely from the South (as I am). Of course, I will always acknowledge that the are exceptions to every rule, and my pondering was not meant to create some sort of stereotype.
As far as rehashing the issue, I am honestly not interested at this time. Thankfully, the hundreds of heated comments on this piece got buried when WTE moved to a new blog platform (they're still there, but you would have to do some crazy detective work to weed through and find them, and, trust me, it is not worth your time). I don't personally care why people pierce or don't pierce. We did it, we're doing it again; and quite frankly I don't care if some person off the street (or even some "friend" or relative) wants to judge me for it.
If you do, for whatever reason, want to discuss infant ear piercing, cultural aspects or otherwise, feel free to do so in the comments here. But heed some warnings: I am a member of The Mom Pledge. Put in simple terms: I do not feed the trolls. I will not tolerate name-calling, bashing, or inflammatory statements. If you want to call me or a fellow commenter names or question anyone's parenting skills/sanity/etc., take it to another site. If you want to compare earrings to female genital mutilation (seriously) or even circumcision (both permanent and irreversible decisions), take the hyperbole somewhere else, as that kind of gross and inflammatory exaggeration always leads to unproductive arguments. If you want to discuss your views intelligently and passionately (preferably with facts, whether cited or reasonably anecdotal), you are more than welcome here, whatever your views.
June 11, 2009
Infant Ear Piercing is Done
I know that infant ear piercing can be a controversial subject, as evidenced by the debate in my earlier blog wondering if people's feelings about infant ear piercing are based on cultural perceptions. Whether it's a cultural issue or not, one thing I do know is that we have done it.
At the end of last month, we had Pop Culture Baby(1)'s ears pierced. The piercing was done at her pediatrician's office, along with her six-month shots. It was a pretty nice setup, actually. We checked in, and Pop Culture Baby(1) was given these little pads with numbing gel on them. The numbing gel stayed on her ears for an hour (this was actually the worst part of the entire experience). While the numbing gel did its business, Pop Culture Baby(1) got her shots. Our regular pediatrician did her normal checkup and answered my questions. Then, when the normal appointment was over, we walked to the waiting room of another doctor in our pediatrician's practice. She is the doctor who does all the ear piercings in the practice.
While we waited for the doctor, I read a book to Pop Culture Baby(1). Pop Culture Baby(1) got really into the book, so when the doctor showed up, she suggested that our au pair (who came with me) hold the book up for Pop Culture Baby(1) in order to distract her. As the doctor was getting ready to put the earrings in, my very nervous husband called because he had expected to hear from us already [we spent a LOT of time waiting]. When he heard the doctor's voice and realized she was about to do the piercing, he nervously hung up, because he was afraid to listen. He was worried for nothing, because Pop Culture Baby(1) did not even cry. She made a muffled "hmmph" sound after each one was done, but that was it.
It's been a couple of weeks now, and her ears are doing well (they have been from day one). Pop Culture Baby(1) has actually stopped pulling on her ears since she's had the earrings. Now, she pulls on her neck instead. They look really cute on her, but I can't wait until the two months are over so I can get her different earrings. The doctor gave her gold earrings, since those are the most hypoallergenic. When she is allowed to have different earrings, I'm getting her platinum, since I hate yellow gold. We also have a pair of infant pearl earrings that I bought right before we got married (long story), which I will let her wear someday, but not just yet.
Whatever people's feelings about infant ear piercing, I am happy with our decision. I have no regrets that my parents got mine pierced when I was an infant, and I am actually glad that it was done so young when I don't remember it. Everyone I know who had their ears pierced as an infant feels the same way. I'm not saying that means that's how everyone should do it. I'm just saying, this is what works for us.
And, p.s., Pop Culture Baby(1) looks soooo cute!
In the waiting room with the numbing gel on.
"Reading" a book while we wait.
Showing off the new lobes.
So nice to put her in all blue and not get asked, "How old is HE?"
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
February 27, 2009
Infant Ear Piercing – A Cultural Issue?
I had never considered infant ear piercing a hot topic until I joined the What to Expect boards. I always considered infant ear piercing second nature. I had my ears pierced when I was only a few months old. Every girl in my family had her ears pierced as an infant. All of my friends with girls clearly have no problem with infant ear piercing, because all of their daughters had their ears pierced as babies.
But when I was pregnant, I joined these boards and witnessed moms-to-be (and at least one dad) arguing with each other over the issue of infant ear piercing. I began to wonder, Am I missing something? I mean, why was everyone so passionate about such a non-issue?
Slowly, I began to notice a pattern. The people who were so dead-set against infant ear piercing were largely (though certainly not exclusively) Caucasian, Christian and American (hereinafter, “CCA," solely for the purpose of abbreviation, and not for any other reason). Ear piercing by many of these women was couched in terms of a “bonding experience” or something you do when your daughter “asks for it.” Maybe it’s a cultural thing, but I’ve never seen ear piercing as something to bond over. I’ve gone with my older sister when she got her ears pierced (a re-piercing), my mom when she got hers done (a second hole), and even my dad when he got his done (suspected mid-life crisis), but never did it seem like something you bond over. I just didn’t get what the big deal was. And as far as asking, I grew up with the mentality that kids don’t get things just because they asked for it, nor do they get to opt out of things simply because they don’t [dinnertime would have been really different growing up if I could have just opted out of things]. I’m not questioning people who think that way – far from it – I’m just saying there’s a different cultural perspective on it.
Most of the parents I know who don’t think infant ear piercing is a big deal are not CCA – we’re each missing at least one part of the acronym. Yes, I have friends who are CCA who don’t consider it a big deal, but they seem to be small in number. Pop Culture Dad is CCA (kind of), and he was at first against getting Pop Culture Baby(1)’s ears pierced just because he had “never heard of it.” After taking a survey of my family and our friends and co-workers who, like me, are not CCA, he began to understand that a lot of people don’t think infant ear piercing is a big deal. He, too, concluded it must be a cultural thing; and since our daughter is a reflection of her mixed backgrounds, he is now on board with piercing her ears.
When we get Pop Culture Baby(1)'s ears pierced, my husband is going to go with us. It won’t be a bonding experience, but we both want to be there with her to hold her little hands. We would have gotten it done already, but Pop Culture Baby(1) has this bad habit of pulling her ears. My hubby and I have agreed that when she stops doing that, we will pierce her ears.
To each his/her own. If you don’t like the idea of infant ear piercing, don’t do it. But don’t tell me or anyone else something’s wrong with our families because we do. Like many traditions, this seems to be an issue that varies among families and perhaps even cultures. So embrace your own traditions, and don’t stress about what goes on with other’s.
Pop Culture Mom After-Notes:
When this piece was originally written, it became one of my most talked about and controversial postings. Apparently, just mentioning something about which people have such widely varying (and strong!) opinions gives them a desire to talk (passionately) about those varying opinions. Honestly, only half the mothers who expressed opinions on this piece addressed my initial inquiry about whether or not the opinions were the result of cultural differences. From a survey of those comments, it seems I missed one part of the equation: for those moms in the CCA category who have no problem with earrings on infants, they were largely from the South (as I am). Of course, I will always acknowledge that the are exceptions to every rule, and my pondering was not meant to create some sort of stereotype.
As far as rehashing the issue, I am honestly not interested at this time. Thankfully, the hundreds of heated comments on this piece got buried when WTE moved to a new blog platform (they're still there, but you would have to do some crazy detective work to weed through and find them, and, trust me, it is not worth your time). I don't personally care why people pierce or don't pierce. We did it, we're doing it again; and quite frankly I don't care if some person off the street (or even some "friend" or relative) wants to judge me for it.
If you do, for whatever reason, want to discuss infant ear piercing, cultural aspects or otherwise, feel free to do so in the comments here. But heed some warnings: I am a member of The Mom Pledge. Put in simple terms: I do not feed the trolls. I will not tolerate name-calling, bashing, or inflammatory statements. If you want to call me or a fellow commenter names or question anyone's parenting skills/sanity/etc., take it to another site. If you want to compare earrings to female genital mutilation (seriously) or even circumcision (both permanent and irreversible decisions), take the hyperbole somewhere else, as that kind of gross and inflammatory exaggeration always leads to unproductive arguments. If you want to discuss your views intelligently and passionately (preferably with facts, whether cited or reasonably anecdotal), you are more than welcome here, whatever your views.
June 11, 2009
Infant Ear Piercing is Done
I know that infant ear piercing can be a controversial subject, as evidenced by the debate in my earlier blog wondering if people's feelings about infant ear piercing are based on cultural perceptions. Whether it's a cultural issue or not, one thing I do know is that we have done it.
At the end of last month, we had Pop Culture Baby(1)'s ears pierced. The piercing was done at her pediatrician's office, along with her six-month shots. It was a pretty nice setup, actually. We checked in, and Pop Culture Baby(1) was given these little pads with numbing gel on them. The numbing gel stayed on her ears for an hour (this was actually the worst part of the entire experience). While the numbing gel did its business, Pop Culture Baby(1) got her shots. Our regular pediatrician did her normal checkup and answered my questions. Then, when the normal appointment was over, we walked to the waiting room of another doctor in our pediatrician's practice. She is the doctor who does all the ear piercings in the practice.
While we waited for the doctor, I read a book to Pop Culture Baby(1). Pop Culture Baby(1) got really into the book, so when the doctor showed up, she suggested that our au pair (who came with me) hold the book up for Pop Culture Baby(1) in order to distract her. As the doctor was getting ready to put the earrings in, my very nervous husband called because he had expected to hear from us already [we spent a LOT of time waiting]. When he heard the doctor's voice and realized she was about to do the piercing, he nervously hung up, because he was afraid to listen. He was worried for nothing, because Pop Culture Baby(1) did not even cry. She made a muffled "hmmph" sound after each one was done, but that was it.
It's been a couple of weeks now, and her ears are doing well (they have been from day one). Pop Culture Baby(1) has actually stopped pulling on her ears since she's had the earrings. Now, she pulls on her neck instead. They look really cute on her, but I can't wait until the two months are over so I can get her different earrings. The doctor gave her gold earrings, since those are the most hypoallergenic. When she is allowed to have different earrings, I'm getting her platinum, since I hate yellow gold. We also have a pair of infant pearl earrings that I bought right before we got married (long story), which I will let her wear someday, but not just yet.
Whatever people's feelings about infant ear piercing, I am happy with our decision. I have no regrets that my parents got mine pierced when I was an infant, and I am actually glad that it was done so young when I don't remember it. Everyone I know who had their ears pierced as an infant feels the same way. I'm not saying that means that's how everyone should do it. I'm just saying, this is what works for us.
And, p.s., Pop Culture Baby(1) looks soooo cute!
In the waiting room with the numbing gel on.
"Reading" a book while we wait.
Showing off the new lobes.
So nice to put her in all blue and not get asked, "How old is HE?"
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
This Week I'm Loving... Cozi (Cozi.com & Cozi App)
Price: FREE for basic
Cozi is a very simple digital solution to a common household problem: every member of the family has different appointments and obligations, you need groceries, there is a big list of punch items to be done, meals need to be planned, some new recipes would be nice, and oh yeah, you're tired of sending Outlook reminders to everyone. Enter Cozi.
Cozi is a one-stop shop for all of these items. The family gets one login name and one password [take note of this, as Pop Culture Dad forgot this fact when he changed the family password last week. Fortunately, Cozi sends an email to all family members when this happens]. You can access Cozi online at Cozi.com or you can download the app (for iPhone/iPad and Android).
Here is how the opening screen looks on my app:
This is the home screen online:
The calendar allows you to select which family member(s) are attending which appointments. Additionally, each family member is assigned a color (which you can change), which makes it easy to tell which appointments are whose at a glance. Every family member who logs in will see all appointments, but reminders are only sent to those attending. Every registered family member receives a weekly summary of the appointments once a week.
One added perk is that you can download an app for Microsoft Outlook that allows Cozi to sync with Outlook either manually or on a schedule. I have this on Outlook at work, so that I don't have to worry about copy/pasting my work events into Cozi. Less work, ya know?
The to-do list is pretty easy to master. It is easily edited and even allows you to make header categories for different groups of tasks.
The grocery list allows any family member to add and check off items needed and no longer needed.
The meal plan organizer is pretty self-explanatory:
BONUS: Recipes. Cozi not only contains a section to list your meal plan for the weeks ahead, but also provides recipes.
If the Cozi recipes don't tickle your fancy, you can add your own recipes manually or even upload them from the internet. This may be a good way to try out all of those recipes you keep pinning on Pinterest. Oh yeah, Cozi also lets you add the ingredients from the recipe to the grocery list.
All of this comes in the basic version, which is free. You just have to put up with ads and deal with having only one alarm on your reminders. For an ad-free experience with three alarms (plus a few other features), you will need to upgrade to Cozi Gold. Cozi Gold is $4.99 a month or $49.99 for a year. I've been using the Basic subscription for a couple of months now, and it is just fine for our purposes.
Before Cozi, Pop Culture Dad and I had been sending each other Outlook reminders (sometimes we still do) and texting each other at the grocery store. This is a more interactive way of doing things. It also makes it more clear when I'm making appointments that were previously just for FYI, that I really don't expect anyone else to attend.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Cozi is a very simple digital solution to a common household problem: every member of the family has different appointments and obligations, you need groceries, there is a big list of punch items to be done, meals need to be planned, some new recipes would be nice, and oh yeah, you're tired of sending Outlook reminders to everyone. Enter Cozi.
Cozi is a one-stop shop for all of these items. The family gets one login name and one password [take note of this, as Pop Culture Dad forgot this fact when he changed the family password last week. Fortunately, Cozi sends an email to all family members when this happens]. You can access Cozi online at Cozi.com or you can download the app (for iPhone/iPad and Android).
Here is how the opening screen looks on my app:
This is the home screen online:
The calendar allows you to select which family member(s) are attending which appointments. Additionally, each family member is assigned a color (which you can change), which makes it easy to tell which appointments are whose at a glance. Every family member who logs in will see all appointments, but reminders are only sent to those attending. Every registered family member receives a weekly summary of the appointments once a week.
One added perk is that you can download an app for Microsoft Outlook that allows Cozi to sync with Outlook either manually or on a schedule. I have this on Outlook at work, so that I don't have to worry about copy/pasting my work events into Cozi. Less work, ya know?
The to-do list is pretty easy to master. It is easily edited and even allows you to make header categories for different groups of tasks.
The grocery list allows any family member to add and check off items needed and no longer needed.
The meal plan organizer is pretty self-explanatory:
BONUS: Recipes. Cozi not only contains a section to list your meal plan for the weeks ahead, but also provides recipes.
If the Cozi recipes don't tickle your fancy, you can add your own recipes manually or even upload them from the internet. This may be a good way to try out all of those recipes you keep pinning on Pinterest. Oh yeah, Cozi also lets you add the ingredients from the recipe to the grocery list.
All of this comes in the basic version, which is free. You just have to put up with ads and deal with having only one alarm on your reminders. For an ad-free experience with three alarms (plus a few other features), you will need to upgrade to Cozi Gold. Cozi Gold is $4.99 a month or $49.99 for a year. I've been using the Basic subscription for a couple of months now, and it is just fine for our purposes.
Before Cozi, Pop Culture Dad and I had been sending each other Outlook reminders (sometimes we still do) and texting each other at the grocery store. This is a more interactive way of doing things. It also makes it more clear when I'm making appointments that were previously just for FYI, that I really don't expect anyone else to attend.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Why, Yes, I AM Still Nursing. [blank] You For "Asking"
No matter how old I get, I will never understand why the same people who applaud you when pregnant for your decision to nurse ("That's great! It is what is best for the baby after all!") always seem surprised, perplexed, and sometimes a little disturbed when you are nursing past the six-month mark. I am, of course, referring to relatives, childless friends, and other mommy friends who either never nursed or never did it very long ("very long" being a few months). This clearly does not apply to online mommy friends, because, as anyone who has spent any time on mommy message boards knows, the vibe there is generally pro-boobs. The real world needs to get on par with the cyber world.
I am tired of sounding like a broken record:
–"Actually, the World Health Organization and the American Academy of Pediatrics both recommend breastfeeding for a bare minimum of six months and even for two years or more."
–"Well, I nursed my oldest daughter until she was 22 months old, so, you see, no, I don't think nine months is too long."
– "Yes, she has teeth. She has had teeth since she was four months old. A baby having teeth is a stupid weaning standard."
–"What do you mean, you should stop nursing when a baby can ask for it? She learned to pull at my shirt when she was a couple of weeks old. Isn't that technically asking? My oldest could sign for milk at four months. If I had a child who was deaf/mute, then you would be okay if I nursed him/her until she was 30, since s/he could never talk and ask for milk? Oh. No? So just a double standard then for what you consider 'asking'?"
Can we talk about the teeth thing for a minute?
Why am I constantly running into moms who practically brag to me about how they stopped nursing as soon as their baby cut a tooth? Do they think I'm sitting there nodding in understanding as I nurse my little piranha-in-training? Every single time someone tells me this, it is a woman whose baby has barely a tooth poking through. Pop Culture Baby has seven (vey sharp and strong) teeth, and we are still nursing. Clearly, I am the wrong audience for empathy. Yes, getting bit sucks. But the presence of teeth is not the standard for weaning. You will not find a single medical journal that says this. Many babies have teeth as early as four months. A few babies are even born with teeth. You can always teach a breastfeeding child not to bite, and once they get used to those new teeth, they generally don't bite anyway [except those circumstances where your baby thinks s/he is being funny and bites you on purpose... But I digress]. Even ignoring all that, if someone wants to justify to herself that weaning was appropriate because her child has teeth, then that's her business; but for the love of Pete, women!! Please stop bragging to me about it! I don't feel the bonds of sisterhood or empathy/sympathy over these revelations. I just feel sad. Please save these conversations for a different audience—perhaps that lady over there in a corner nodding and mouthing "Me too."
Also, when did formula become the norm? No, really. I get that using formula in the 1970s was that decade's equivalent of the '60s bra burning. Women had the freedom to work and weren't "chained" to their babies all day. But formula has never been and never will be breast milk. And times have a'changed. Breast pumps are readily accessible and affordable these days, and that is a huge part of why breastfeeding has made a resurgence of sorts. But most importantly, the science just keeps coming out in favor of breastfeeding. Formula, no matter what they add to it, will never compete. Ever. I totally get circumstances in which the health risks to mother outweigh the benefits of breastmilk to babies [lactivist though I am, I would much rather a bipolar or schizophrenic mom be on her meds; same for mothers with certain bone, heart or neurological diseases]. I also understand that some women don't produce enough milk or any at all [though it appears that number is certainly much smaller than the number of women who claim they can't—some of whom give up at the colostrum stage or without trying things to boost their milk like eating oatmeal, taking supplements, drinking a lot of water, pumping more often, etc.]. And while the AAP argues:
(emphasis added), I will grant you that for many people, the decision to use formula is a lifestyle choice. Whatever.
The bottom line is, I am doing what is healthy and recommended. Breastfeeding my now-10 month old child is not an unusual thing, nor should it be. This is the default. The medical community backs me up. If I am able to breastfeeding into the next year, you are darn tooting' that I will. By asking me, "OMG, are you still nursing??" with that inflection in your voice and look of disapproval, you are not shaming me. You are only making yourself look and sound foolish.
/rant
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
I am tired of sounding like a broken record:
–"Actually, the World Health Organization and the American Academy of Pediatrics both recommend breastfeeding for a bare minimum of six months and even for two years or more."
–"Well, I nursed my oldest daughter until she was 22 months old, so, you see, no, I don't think nine months is too long."
– "Yes, she has teeth. She has had teeth since she was four months old. A baby having teeth is a stupid weaning standard."
–"What do you mean, you should stop nursing when a baby can ask for it? She learned to pull at my shirt when she was a couple of weeks old. Isn't that technically asking? My oldest could sign for milk at four months. If I had a child who was deaf/mute, then you would be okay if I nursed him/her until she was 30, since s/he could never talk and ask for milk? Oh. No? So just a double standard then for what you consider 'asking'?"
Can we talk about the teeth thing for a minute?
Why am I constantly running into moms who practically brag to me about how they stopped nursing as soon as their baby cut a tooth? Do they think I'm sitting there nodding in understanding as I nurse my little piranha-in-training? Every single time someone tells me this, it is a woman whose baby has barely a tooth poking through. Pop Culture Baby has seven (vey sharp and strong) teeth, and we are still nursing. Clearly, I am the wrong audience for empathy. Yes, getting bit sucks. But the presence of teeth is not the standard for weaning. You will not find a single medical journal that says this. Many babies have teeth as early as four months. A few babies are even born with teeth. You can always teach a breastfeeding child not to bite, and once they get used to those new teeth, they generally don't bite anyway [except those circumstances where your baby thinks s/he is being funny and bites you on purpose... But I digress]. Even ignoring all that, if someone wants to justify to herself that weaning was appropriate because her child has teeth, then that's her business; but for the love of Pete, women!! Please stop bragging to me about it! I don't feel the bonds of sisterhood or empathy/sympathy over these revelations. I just feel sad. Please save these conversations for a different audience—perhaps that lady over there in a corner nodding and mouthing "Me too."
Also, when did formula become the norm? No, really. I get that using formula in the 1970s was that decade's equivalent of the '60s bra burning. Women had the freedom to work and weren't "chained" to their babies all day. But formula has never been and never will be breast milk. And times have a'changed. Breast pumps are readily accessible and affordable these days, and that is a huge part of why breastfeeding has made a resurgence of sorts. But most importantly, the science just keeps coming out in favor of breastfeeding. Formula, no matter what they add to it, will never compete. Ever. I totally get circumstances in which the health risks to mother outweigh the benefits of breastmilk to babies [lactivist though I am, I would much rather a bipolar or schizophrenic mom be on her meds; same for mothers with certain bone, heart or neurological diseases]. I also understand that some women don't produce enough milk or any at all [though it appears that number is certainly much smaller than the number of women who claim they can't—some of whom give up at the colostrum stage or without trying things to boost their milk like eating oatmeal, taking supplements, drinking a lot of water, pumping more often, etc.]. And while the AAP argues:
Breastfeeding and human milk are the normative standards for infant feeding and nutrition. Given the documented short- and long-term medical and neurodevelopmental advantages of breastfeeding, infant nutrition should be considered a public health issue and not only a lifestyle choice.
(emphasis added), I will grant you that for many people, the decision to use formula is a lifestyle choice. Whatever.
The bottom line is, I am doing what is healthy and recommended. Breastfeeding my now-10 month old child is not an unusual thing, nor should it be. This is the default. The medical community backs me up. If I am able to breastfeeding into the next year, you are darn tooting' that I will. By asking me, "OMG, are you still nursing??" with that inflection in your voice and look of disapproval, you are not shaming me. You are only making yourself look and sound foolish.
/rant
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Total Baby App Update
It is no secret how much I love the Total Baby app for the iPod, iPhone, and iPad. It has, however, changed a lot since I wrote my last review. there have been some significant updates. Also, I now have a iPad (thanks again, Pop Culture Dad!) and am able to witness the pretty cool iPad interface. Like a typical lawyer, I have to point out that this "review" is merely an update of new features, and not meant as a stand-alone review of the app. For a more full update, this post should be read along with the original review.
New Feature: Breast Milk Storage
The Total Baby app now includes timers for pumping and keeps a log of your breast milk. Based on how it is stored, the app even tells you when the milk expires. Honestly, I haven't been totally diligent in the use of this feature, but when I have used it, it is glorious.
New Feature: Timeline and Summary Charts
If you are more of a visual person than a textual one, this new timeline/chart summary (I'm not sure what to call it) should be right up your alley. Here is how it looks on the iPad version:
New Feature: Facebook Share
Just typed up a huge diary or milestone entry and want to share it with all your Facebook friends? No worries, just click on the Facebook share button, and you canannoyimpress all your Facebook buddies with your little one's newest and greatest accomplishments, without any need to copy/paste.
New Feature: Reminder Alarms
If your last entry was for giving baby Tylenol, but you can't remember when to give the next dosage, just set a reminder. This is the one feature the ItzBeen timer had that this app was missing. Now it is totally superior in every way.
As before, this app remains my favorite. Pop Culture Baby has now gotten too old for me to use this app for every feeding and diaper change, but I still use it for important things like medications, doctor appointments, vaccination records, growth, milestones and diaries. I still use it with Pop Culture Preschooler, too. Now that she's a little sassafras, the "Diary" feature comes in handy for capturing all the crazy things she says and does.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
New Feature: Breast Milk Storage
The Total Baby app now includes timers for pumping and keeps a log of your breast milk. Based on how it is stored, the app even tells you when the milk expires. Honestly, I haven't been totally diligent in the use of this feature, but when I have used it, it is glorious.
New Feature: Timeline and Summary Charts
If you are more of a visual person than a textual one, this new timeline/chart summary (I'm not sure what to call it) should be right up your alley. Here is how it looks on the iPad version:
New Feature: Facebook Share
Just typed up a huge diary or milestone entry and want to share it with all your Facebook friends? No worries, just click on the Facebook share button, and you can
New Feature: Reminder Alarms
If your last entry was for giving baby Tylenol, but you can't remember when to give the next dosage, just set a reminder. This is the one feature the ItzBeen timer had that this app was missing. Now it is totally superior in every way.
As before, this app remains my favorite. Pop Culture Baby has now gotten too old for me to use this app for every feeding and diaper change, but I still use it for important things like medications, doctor appointments, vaccination records, growth, milestones and diaries. I still use it with Pop Culture Preschooler, too. Now that she's a little sassafras, the "Diary" feature comes in handy for capturing all the crazy things she says and does.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
My Jillian Michaels Mini-Rant
Oh, are you here because you thought I was ranting against Jillian Michaels? Boy are you out of luck.
Look, personally, I'm no Jillian Michaels super fan. I didn't watch The Biggest Loser [I've seen it maybe three times ever]. I got her Wii Fitness game a couple years ago, and it bored me to tears -- now I know why it was on sale. I don't dislike her though. And, quite honestly, on a daily basis, I don't even think about her. I imagine most people don't.
All of the sudden, though, Jillian becomes a mom, and she's everywhere you look. Last week, when I saw the first picture of her adopted daughter and newborn son, as they say on Ni-Hao, Kai-Lan, "It made my heart feel super happy!". I'm one of those mommy-geeks, so any time I see a picture of a happy mother and child, I'm ecstatic. Even moreso than my usual mom-geekdom, however, I was overjoyed because Ms. Michaels and her partner adopted a child from Haiti and their biological baby [yes, I said "their." DEAL WITH IT] looks (though I am not sure if she is) biracial.
And then I read the comments on the article on People.com, and my super happy heart got super stabby. Forgive me, I'm still training myself to ignore the comments. I have to keep reminding myself that the anonymity of the internet makes every darn fool come out and show off their ignorance. I have to tell myself that most people don't think like the people who comment on news (including entertainment news) articles... If I let myself think that most of the world thinks like the comment world, I truly could not live here. I could not.
Apparently people of the Comment World fall into the following camps: (1) normal people who are happy to see a happy mother and that people are adopting [these are my peeps]; (2) people who are upset her child(ren are) is black; and (3) people who, most of whom weren't even aware of Jillian Michaels' sexuality prior to this point (I know I wasn't; didn't care either way. Still don't.), who can't get over the "OMG, she's gay! And why do gay people have babies? And is she going to make these babies gay? And that child isn't hers if she didn't carry it or contribute an egg!" camp. These are the people I'm ranting against. In a word: Seriously?!?!?!
First, how in the world does it affect you at all if Jillian Michaels and her partner, any other gay couple in the world, or even one singular gay person, has a child? You can't make someone gay by raising them with a gay parent or two--if you could, then straight people wouldn't keep having so many gay children, now would they? And even if you could "make" someone gay, who the eff cares?? How does anyone else's sexuality affect you on a personal basis, unless that person is the one with whom you are partnered?
I, for one, am glad to see children being raised in a loving home, and I am especially glad to see black children being adopted. Unless or until someone else adopts a needy child, I don't want to hear boo about what you think about another couple's right to adopt. NOTHING. Haters will hate, but they certainly won't do anything to help, now will they?
So, although I was Jillian Michaels neutral, consider me a new fan... of her as a mother. To those of you out there who are negatively and hyper concerned about the gender of the person she loves or the color of her children's skin, go get a life, why dontcha?
(photo by People magazine)
Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Look, personally, I'm no Jillian Michaels super fan. I didn't watch The Biggest Loser [I've seen it maybe three times ever]. I got her Wii Fitness game a couple years ago, and it bored me to tears -- now I know why it was on sale. I don't dislike her though. And, quite honestly, on a daily basis, I don't even think about her. I imagine most people don't.
All of the sudden, though, Jillian becomes a mom, and she's everywhere you look. Last week, when I saw the first picture of her adopted daughter and newborn son, as they say on Ni-Hao, Kai-Lan, "It made my heart feel super happy!". I'm one of those mommy-geeks, so any time I see a picture of a happy mother and child, I'm ecstatic. Even moreso than my usual mom-geekdom, however, I was overjoyed because Ms. Michaels and her partner adopted a child from Haiti and their biological baby [yes, I said "their." DEAL WITH IT] looks (though I am not sure if she is) biracial.
And then I read the comments on the article on People.com, and my super happy heart got super stabby. Forgive me, I'm still training myself to ignore the comments. I have to keep reminding myself that the anonymity of the internet makes every darn fool come out and show off their ignorance. I have to tell myself that most people don't think like the people who comment on news (including entertainment news) articles... If I let myself think that most of the world thinks like the comment world, I truly could not live here. I could not.
Apparently people of the Comment World fall into the following camps: (1) normal people who are happy to see a happy mother and that people are adopting [these are my peeps]; (2) people who are upset her child(ren are) is black; and (3) people who, most of whom weren't even aware of Jillian Michaels' sexuality prior to this point (I know I wasn't; didn't care either way. Still don't.), who can't get over the "OMG, she's gay! And why do gay people have babies? And is she going to make these babies gay? And that child isn't hers if she didn't carry it or contribute an egg!" camp. These are the people I'm ranting against. In a word: Seriously?!?!?!
First, how in the world does it affect you at all if Jillian Michaels and her partner, any other gay couple in the world, or even one singular gay person, has a child? You can't make someone gay by raising them with a gay parent or two--if you could, then straight people wouldn't keep having so many gay children, now would they? And even if you could "make" someone gay, who the eff cares?? How does anyone else's sexuality affect you on a personal basis, unless that person is the one with whom you are partnered?
I, for one, am glad to see children being raised in a loving home, and I am especially glad to see black children being adopted. Unless or until someone else adopts a needy child, I don't want to hear boo about what you think about another couple's right to adopt. NOTHING. Haters will hate, but they certainly won't do anything to help, now will they?
So, although I was Jillian Michaels neutral, consider me a new fan... of her as a mother. To those of you out there who are negatively and hyper concerned about the gender of the person she loves or the color of her children's skin, go get a life, why dontcha?
Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Alan Thicke is to Soothing Babies What Robin Thicke is to Making Them
♬Show me that smile again...
Don't waste another minute on your crying...♬
It worked! She immediately started grinning and laughing. Now, whenever Pop Culture Baby gets cranky, I dust off a little Growing Pains. Okay, so even though actor-singer-composer Alan Thicke did not actually compose this little ditty, I will forever associate it with him. In my child-of-the-'80s mind, this song originated from Dr. Jason Seaver. Whoever the actual singer, I'm the one singing it now, and it is magic when it comes to putting a smile on my baby's face.
And This Is Why Old Wives' Tales Are Stupid
Every pregnant woman has experienced it. Before you find out your baby's gender (or before you give birth if you opt, as I did, to not find out your baby's gender), nearly every person with whom you have contact will try to guess whether you're having a boy or a girl. Some people just go on vibes and gut feelings. Some guess based on the genders of your other children, if any. But many, if not most, revert to old wives' tales.
Using old wives' tales to guess gender can be fun, no doubt. But just like Inelligender, take it with a grain of salt. There is a 50/50 chance of them being right--the same odds as if you flip a coin. I have no problem with people having fun with a good guess. But the people who take these things seriously and insist on their correctness... yeah, those people made me stabby when I was pregnant. And for all those people, here's my nah-nah-ne-boo-boo to you--My handy dandy chart of how the old wives' tales meant nothing when it came to Pop Culture Preschooler and Pop Culture Baby:
Old Wives' Tale
|
Pop Culture Preschooler
|
Pop Culture Baby
|
| Carrying: High (girl) vs Low (boy) | High | Low |
| Can you tell mom is pregnant from the back? (yes = girl) | YES | No |
| Girls steal mom's beauty | Definitely. I was fug. | Looking better than ever |
| Acne? | Tons. What is this--high school?? | My skin has never been more clear |
| Breast growth? | Up two cup sizes in the first trimester (yes!!) | Stayed practically the same until birth (boo) |
| Cravings? Salty and tart for boys. Sugary for girls | ground beef, chili, pineapple, lemons, ice cream, cake | pineapple, lemons, donuts, crawfish |
| Heart rate (>140 = girl) | 130s | 150s |
| Morning Sickness? (girls make you sick) | None | Tons... for nearly 20 weeks |
| Ring Swing: back and forth, girl. Circle, boy | circle | back and forth |
| Intelligender result | N/A | boy |
I have two girls.
Regardless of what the old wives' tales say each aspect should mean, the bottom line is my pregnancies couldn't have been more different (except, you know, lemons and pineapples; but I crave those even not pregnant). It doesn't end here. Name one aspect of pregnancy, I can tell you how nothing was the same from my first pregnancy to the second. The bottom line is, the old wives' tales mean nothing. There is no magic formula that's going to tell you what gender your baby is. The closest you can get to accuracy is an ultrasound, and, well, even those mess up sometimes. Sorry, ladies.
A Teachable Moment Missed (Real Housewives of Atlanta)
Anyone who knows me or followed my old blog on What to Expect should know that I'm a wee bit of a lactivist. I fully support a woman exercising her right to breastfeed in public or private, her baby's right to eat, and companies making it easier for women to breastfeed and/or pump. I also know when to choose my battles. For example, as much as I loathe the idea of nursing in a sweaty locker room or bathroom, I sucked it up and did so voluntarily when at my in law's country club over the holidays. I also would not nurse sans cover in someone else's house without their permission.
I love breastfeeding. I think every mother should at least try it. But I understand why some don't or can't. This doesn't change the fact that it is what is best for baby. And it doesn't change the fact that, for some inexplicable reason, some people still don't understand the concept that breastfeeding has been around for centuries and that formula is a new construct. Yes, breast milk is the default. It has always been here. Yet for some reason, we still need to "normalize" breastfeeding.
This is why an episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta I recently watched disturbed me so much.
Okay. Let's be honest, many episodes of RHOA are disturbing for many reasons. MANY. (Um... Ridickulous, anyone? << WARNING: NSFW) But it's not often that I find on that show an actual opportunity for a teachable moment. It's sad that the one time I found it, I was let down. I guess that's what I get for actually having hopes and standards for anything that comes out of the Real Housewives franchise.
On this particular episode, a very pregnant Kim Zolciak is talking to her daughter Brielle about breastfeeding the new baby after he is born. Kim, a former L&D nurse, starts out really well by telling her daughter how she's going to feed the baby breast milk because that's what's best for babies. Then her daughter, a typical ignorant teenager who hasn't had to be exposed to babies and nursing, gives a pretty classic and expected response, "Ew, gross." Now this would have been the perfect time for Kim to explain to her daughter that there's nothing gross about breastfeeding at all. Instead, how does Kim react? "Yeah, I know. Right?". Kim does make a little bit of recovery by telling her daughter how she was breastfed and so was her little sister. However, I just can't get past the "Yeah, I know. Right?".
That is the wrong response by any person, let alone a former nurse, in relation to breastfeeding. There is nothing gross about it. It is simply feeding your child the way nature intended. Period. I have read ignorant comments before where people have associated breastfeeding with other natural bodily functions, such as defecating, or horrible things like child molestation. It is none of these things. In reference to the comparisons of breast milk and toilet functions, would you allow someone to put a Ziploc bag of urine or BM on your dinner table? Of course not. Yet, breast milk in a bottle sitting on your table is perfectly acceptable to everyone. This alone underscores (for those too stupid or dim to see it any other way) the difference between the two functions. With respect to the disgusting and idiotic child abuse allegations, breastfeeding is not child molestation any more than changing your baby's diaper is.
For those who have issues about nursing in public, those are truly their own issues. The primary function of breasts are to feed children. Yes, they have a secondary function related to sex; but guess what? So does your mouth. Until there's a big push for people covering up their mouths while eating in public, lest some man conjure up inappropriate images of the things a woman could do to him with her mouth, I don't want to hear any complaint about mothers breastfeeding in public. And until we revert to Victorian culture where women are covered up from the neck down, don't even try to feed me lines about breastfeeding women with their breasts "hanging out" [something, BTW, I have never seen].
The bottom line is, Kim messed up big time by missing this teachable moment. As a former L&D nurse and someone who knows the importance of breast milk enough to have nursed three children [and risk the lives of her two oldest trying to pump while driving], she was in a perfect position to teach her oldest daughter that breastfeeding is not in any way, shape or form, gross. Instead, she acted pretty much how I should expect a Real Housewife. Shame.
I love breastfeeding. I think every mother should at least try it. But I understand why some don't or can't. This doesn't change the fact that it is what is best for baby. And it doesn't change the fact that, for some inexplicable reason, some people still don't understand the concept that breastfeeding has been around for centuries and that formula is a new construct. Yes, breast milk is the default. It has always been here. Yet for some reason, we still need to "normalize" breastfeeding.
This is why an episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta I recently watched disturbed me so much.
Okay. Let's be honest, many episodes of RHOA are disturbing for many reasons. MANY. (Um... Ridickulous, anyone? << WARNING: NSFW) But it's not often that I find on that show an actual opportunity for a teachable moment. It's sad that the one time I found it, I was let down. I guess that's what I get for actually having hopes and standards for anything that comes out of the Real Housewives franchise.
On this particular episode, a very pregnant Kim Zolciak is talking to her daughter Brielle about breastfeeding the new baby after he is born. Kim, a former L&D nurse, starts out really well by telling her daughter how she's going to feed the baby breast milk because that's what's best for babies. Then her daughter, a typical ignorant teenager who hasn't had to be exposed to babies and nursing, gives a pretty classic and expected response, "Ew, gross." Now this would have been the perfect time for Kim to explain to her daughter that there's nothing gross about breastfeeding at all. Instead, how does Kim react? "Yeah, I know. Right?". Kim does make a little bit of recovery by telling her daughter how she was breastfed and so was her little sister. However, I just can't get past the "Yeah, I know. Right?".
 |
| Kim talks to her daughter, Brielle, about breastfeeding |
That is the wrong response by any person, let alone a former nurse, in relation to breastfeeding. There is nothing gross about it. It is simply feeding your child the way nature intended. Period. I have read ignorant comments before where people have associated breastfeeding with other natural bodily functions, such as defecating, or horrible things like child molestation. It is none of these things. In reference to the comparisons of breast milk and toilet functions, would you allow someone to put a Ziploc bag of urine or BM on your dinner table? Of course not. Yet, breast milk in a bottle sitting on your table is perfectly acceptable to everyone. This alone underscores (for those too stupid or dim to see it any other way) the difference between the two functions. With respect to the disgusting and idiotic child abuse allegations, breastfeeding is not child molestation any more than changing your baby's diaper is.
For those who have issues about nursing in public, those are truly their own issues. The primary function of breasts are to feed children. Yes, they have a secondary function related to sex; but guess what? So does your mouth. Until there's a big push for people covering up their mouths while eating in public, lest some man conjure up inappropriate images of the things a woman could do to him with her mouth, I don't want to hear any complaint about mothers breastfeeding in public. And until we revert to Victorian culture where women are covered up from the neck down, don't even try to feed me lines about breastfeeding women with their breasts "hanging out" [something, BTW, I have never seen].
The bottom line is, Kim messed up big time by missing this teachable moment. As a former L&D nurse and someone who knows the importance of breast milk enough to have nursed three children [and risk the lives of her two oldest trying to pump while driving], she was in a perfect position to teach her oldest daughter that breastfeeding is not in any way, shape or form, gross. Instead, she acted pretty much how I should expect a Real Housewife. Shame.
Pop Culture Baby's Birth Story
 |
| Another Pop Culture star is born |
Let the story begin...
Dou Me, Baby
First, let me go way back. When I had Pop Culture Toddler, I enlisted the services of a doula for both during and after labor. Rhonda was invaluable. So I knew as soon as I got pregnant with Pop Culture Baby that I was going to go the doula route again. Rhonda had since retired from the baby doula game. I knew her daughter had stepped into her place, since one of my friends used Rhonda's daughter as her postpartum doula for her twins. I could have used her daughter. Instead, I decided to go the difficult route and get an out-of-state doula. Now, this wasn't something completely on a whim. Christi (or Diva Doula, as I now feel like calling her) is one of the moms from one of my WTE expecting boards. Her youngest daughter was born within days of PCT. She was even our board leader at some point and is currently one of the admins of our Facebook group. So while I didn't "know" her, I have known her for over three years. She had already served as the doula for some of the other November 2008 moms, and I wanted Diva Doula to "dou" me, too. As you can expect, Pop Culture Dad and pretty much everyone else thought I was crazy. But with Pop Culture Toddler, my midwives had predicted when I would go into labor, down to the weekend, and with a 13-hour labor the first time, I was feeling pretty confident about being able to get Diva Doula here in time.
Then of course came the GD diagnosis. Because I ended up on medication to control my blood sugar, my midwives told me that if I didn't have Pop Culture Baby early, as I did PCT, they were going to induce me at 39 weeks. Everyone, myself included was fairly confident, though, that I would go early again. Boy were we wrong. Apparently I controlled my sugars almost too well. So instead of growing a behemoth baby and ginormous placenta, I was forming a fairly regular placenta and (what was to me, anyway), a teeny baby. At my Level 2 ultrasound, PCB was measuring a few weeks behind, and was 18th percentile. PCB was predicted to be six pounds if I went full term. Because of the gestational diabetes, I had ultrasounds every three weeks. While my fundal height was always perfectly on track, the ultrasounds always showed a baby that was measuring a couple of weeks behind. Kind of weird considering that our 3D ultrasound revealed really chubby cheeks. *shrug*. So week by week, my confidence going into labor at 38 weeks again began to wane. And then...
Long Labor? False Labor? WTH Knows?
Ten days before my due date, I started having really regular contractions. They were frequent enough that I started timing them. First they were far apart. Then as the day went on, they sped up to 10 minutes apart, and then 8. I e-mailed Diva Doula and asked her for reassurance that I could have contractions 8 minutes apart for a number of days. Based on the ultrasound I had just the week before, PCB was still measuring small, though better than before (now 25th percentile), but PCB was just small enough that I wasn't exactly thrilled at the idea of going into labor early and having a teeny tiny little baby. Diva Doula told me to lie down on my left side for an hour or so, drink a lot of water and see if my contractions slowed down or stopped. They didn't. Then she told me to just say the word, and she would get on a plane; her hubby was getting ready to get her on a plane. We talked it through for a while and decided, just in case, to get her on a plane. If she was here for a couple of days, that was fine. Better than her missing the birth altogether.
Diva Doula came in, and I continued to have contractions. Then, at some point right before I went to bed, they disappeared, only to come back with a royal vengeance while I was sleeping. I was afraid I would go into labor in the wee hours of the morning; but at least Pop Culture Dad and Diva Doula were there. The next morning, I told Pop Culture Dad to go on to work, and I would call him if he needed to come home. By then, I had steady contractions 5 minutes apart. He later told me that he got ribbed all day for being at work while his wife was in labor. During the day, Diva Doula and I tried to help the labor along. We went geocaching. We drove around. We walked. At one point when we were walking around my neighborhood, the contractions got so bad I had trouble walking. We were actually getting close to the point where my midwives told me to call them back. But I didn't feel like I should go to the hospital yet. So we went back to the house where I decided to go relax in the tub... and the contractions disappeared again. WTH? Same pattern as the night before, my contractions got frequent, horrible and painful in the middle of the night, but no magic happened.
The next day was my midwife appointment. The midwife with whom we met, Mary, thought it was weird that I had contractions that steady and close that got stronger and then went nowhere, but it wasn't unheard of. She checked me, and it turned out I hadn't made any progress from the week before. I was still a fingertip dilated and about 60% effaced. So I basically had two days of contractions for nothing. At this point, I was days away from being 39 weeks. It was time to talk induction dates. Mary told me point-blank that, two days of false labor notwithstanding, Pop Culture Baby was not ready to go anywhere. An induction date at the early end of 39 weeks would not be a good idea. I began to get fearful that an induction date at any time would not be a good idea. But seeing as I only had a one week window in which to give birth (gee, thanks, GD), I picked my due date as my induction date. Might as well make it to 40 weeks, right? Mary agreed to give me Prepadil the next week to see if that helped move things along so I could avoid induction. It was a great start, but still pretty sucky. I went back to my car and cried. Hard. Diva Doula was such awesome support (a necessity when you feel like a complete tool, like I did). We went walking and geocaching some more, in hope of sparking more labor. Nada. That day, I decided the GD diet was off. Let me tell you, I really enjoyed my comfort-Frosty that day.
Diva Doula went home the next morning, and I went to the hospital for my Prepadil. Mary told me to go walking (preferably around a mall with a credit card) to see if I could get some contractions going. Nada. When I went in a few days later for my midwife appointment [now after a full week and a couple days of "false" labor, which felt pretty damn real], I was ready to tell them not to induce me at all. I was really afraid of being one of those ladies who has a horrible induction experience and ends up either having an awful, long labor or winding up getting a c-section. I had another ultrasound. Pop Culture Baby had a growth spurt, and was suddenly estimated at 50th percentile. Dawn, the midwife that day, checked me again. I had made a wee bit of progress, but not much. In fact, I had gone from 60% effaced to 50% effaced. WTF?? Dawn, however, was convinced that I was ready, and that an induction would go beautifully. As some added insurance, though, Dawn stripped my membranes and scheduled me for another Prepadil the next day. She warned me that the stripping may do nothing, or it could send me into labor. You just never know. Later that day, I was in the grocery store, having the worst contractions to date. I actually felt pretty good about going into labor. I had bloody show that night. The next morning, I ended up calling my midwives at 4 a.m. to see if I should even go in for the second dose of Prepadil, because I was having contractions 6 minutes apart. I was told that even if I ended up not going into labor, they could not administer Prepadil with my contractions that close together. So, basically, I just had to wait and see if I went into labor. This should be no surprise: I didn't.
Eviction Day
Diva Doula came back the next day. We basically snacked on labor cookies and got together snacks and everything I needed to go to the hospital. Diva Doula also taught Pop Culture Dad various pressure points and techniques to help me during labor. We talked about how my labor went with PCT, and for the first time ever, I realized that (save for my water breaking on its own), that I had made zero progress until I was given the dreaded pitocin monster. It was possible that I'm one of those unlucky ladies who will contract for days and days without any real progress, absent medical intervention.
The next day was eviction day. And, I won't lie: I was terrified. I had always planned on having a completely natural birth. Now, after more than a week of false labor, I knew I was going to get stuck with pitocin whether I liked it or not. And, let's face it, my confidence in my own ability to face pitocin without an epidural was very very low. I was also terrified, after having such a long period of unproductive labor, that I was going to end up either in labor for 24 hours or with a c-section... or worse, both.
My induction was scheduled for 7 a.m. on the 29th. Pop Culture Dad, Diva Doula and I left the house at the buttcrack of dawn and started heading (late) to the hospital, only to get a call as we were getting on the freeway that there were no beds available, so I'd have to call back in a few hours to see if I could come in. They ended up telling me to come to the hospital between 11 and 11:30. We got there at 11ish and had to wait a while. They hooked me up to the pit drip around 1. When I went in, I was 3 cm dilated and about 50% effaced. Pop Culture Baby was at a -3 station. So, yeah, not even close to anything happening.
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| Leaving for the hospital... again |
A few hours went by, and the contractions were getting worse, but it still looked like I had a long time to go. Pop Culture Dad and Diva Doula were fantastically helping me manage my pain and sneaking me food and drinks. At 5:30 or so, I posted a message to the impatient mommies on our parenting group that the "aunties" were going to have to simmer down, because Pop Culture Baby wasn't making an appearance any time soon. The ladies were all on gender watch and tired of not knowing what kind of equipment PCB was bearing. Around 6 or 6:30 , my midwife checked me, and I was 100% effaced, but still only about 3 cm (but this time a "loose" 3 instead of a hard one) and at a -1. She asked if I wanted to have my water broken. We debated it for a while, especially the warning about how much it would suck. Eventually, in the interest of not being in labor all freaking night, I told her to go for it. Almost immediately after she broke my water, things really kicked into gear [shit got real, y'all!].
At some point around 7 p.m., I was just done. Diva Doula and PCD were absolutely fantastic, but I knew I had barely made any progress before all of the madness started, and I couldn't imagine being like that another four hours or whatever. So I started asking my midwife if it was too late to get an epi. She said "probably," and she and Diva Doula kept encouraging me to keep on, at least for a while. **WARNING WARNING HERE COMES THE TMI/YOU'LL-KNOW-TOO-MUCH-ABOUT
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| Thanks, Debbie! |
Honestly, I had absolutely no idea what was going on at this point. Diva Doula had to fill me in on some of the finer details later. After PCB popped out (literally), Debbie held her up so we could see the gender. Even looking, I had no idea [I swear I know what the parts look like!]. I think I was just still surprised there was a baby there. I still didn't know if I had a son or a daughter until Pop Culture Dad announced, "It's a girl!". I vaguely remember saying at some point after my eyes focused and I noticed that there was in fact a baby there, "Oh! And she has some color! Yay!". I had another beautiful little girl. A 7 pound, 12 ounce, 20.5" little princess (who, other than her much smaller size, slightly darker skin and brown eyes, and fantastic dimples, is an exact replica of her big sister, who is a pretty close carbon copy of me).
One of the best parts came after we were released to my room. My mom and Pop Culture Toddler were already there waiting on us. When the nurse wheeled me in with Pop Culture Baby, PCT walked up to us and said, "Hi, [Baby]. I'm your big sister." Tears. Flowing.
Everybody Wants the Diva to Dou Them
I didn't go into a lot of details of how Diva Doula helped me before and during my labor. For one, it's hard to go into details after the fact. I just remember her there duing the labor, constantly moving and things to do to help out, and her encouraging me along the way. I vaguely remember the little pep talks. They're all fuzzy right now, but I remember at the time, they really helped get me through. To use one of her favorite phrases, Diva Doula (aka Mrs. Christi Mooney of Serenity Birth in GA) was just AWESOME SAUCE. There is absolutely no way I would have been able to do a pitocin-induced, pain medication-free birth without her support. And I probably would have lost my sanity before the main event, too. Remember pregnant ladies: Google is not your friend; but a good doula is.
In fact, Diva Doula was such awesome sauce that the midwife on-call the morning after I gave birth told me how much Debbie had bragged about her, and they wanted to know what service she was with and how to refer her to other clients. You can imagine their disappointment when I told them she's not local. Thanks to Christi's dou-ing, my midwives all gave me the "Rockstar" award for the week.
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| Diva Doula and Pop Culture Baby |
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| First day home with my girls |
I am sure someone has to wonder if I had any media going on during labor, especially considering I once claimed (okay, okay, last year) I'd love to have "Bohemian Rhapsody" playing in the background when I gave birth. We did not have the iPod going. Darn shame, too, considering the short amount of time I spent pushing actually would have left us with a little "Bohemian Rhapsody" left over -- not that anyone would have had time to cue the song up! I actually did get to follow through with my media birth plan, though. We watched Knocked Up for the first two hours of the induction. And, as I had planned a couple of months before, we got our NPH fix. I packed a few DVDs of How I Met Your Mother, but while I was having my awful, water-breaking-induced contractions, we were watching (Ha! "Watching") Dr. Horrible's Sing-along Blog. Good thing we brought our portable DVD player. The L&D room only had VCRs. Oh, how I wish I was kidding!
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