There are constant reminders that I am no longer cool and cute. For one, I don’t get carded anymore and I no longer end up with freebies at stores or generally get a “pass".”  The guys and gals who flirt with me – on the rare occasion anyone flirts with me anymore – tend to be my parents’ age or just otherwise unacceptable. Of course, I’m married, I don’t need anyone flirting with me; but it’s always nice to know you’ve still got it, KWIM? I don’t have it. Not anymore.

So I‘m not young, and I’m not hot, but I thought I had at least some semblance of cool. Apparently I don’t. I still listen to the radio, and I know what’s cool and current in music even though I don’t necessarily like it. [Sorry, totally don’t get the Bieber or Ke$ha thing]. I have been generally good about not expressing my old fuddy duddy opinions to the youngsters. And even though I’m no longer a club bunny, I guarantee you I can dance circles around most kids (and adults) these days [just too bad no one wants to see my butt shaking anymore].

I’m a gadget geek, so I keep up with all the latest technology. I don’t use phrases like “The Twitter.” Pop Culture Dad and I watch movies [though, usually on Netflix, because there’s generally nothing out that I like enough to pay a babysitter for]. I’m up on all the latest television. I am generally not a bad dresser, particularly since I make a good salary and can actually buy my own clothes – a luxury I did not have as a teen or early-20 something.

So given all of these things, I thought I hadn’t quite reached the stage where younger adults rolls their eyes and banish me to the “old” category. But this is how I know I’m old and uncool: Facebook.

I know, it shouldn’t bother me that my little cousin – who I used to babysit, the one who now babysits my own child, the one who once adored me more than anything and couldn’t wait to see me — rejected my friend request. But it does. Especially when I see her “mutual friends” list and it includes a whole host of other family members, some of whom are only a couple years younger than me. And, of course, it bothers me that her brother, who at one point had accepted my friend request deleted me [even though, quite honestly, I had his account blocked from my feed, cuz the kid posted annoying statuses 300 times a day].

I also know how uncool and old I am when I find myself highly annoyed by the statuses of the youngins who did friend me [you know… the ones who haven’t deleted me yet]. I am generally free-thinking and loose; but the older I get, the lower my tolerance gets. I get tired that some people under the age of 25 talk in “txt” speak. I’m sick of reading rap lyrics passed off as independent thoughts [even when I like the song]. I’m tired of hearing never-married chippies with too many kids at home, who are being raised by their parents rather than them anyway, bitch and moan about men not taking care of their kids [uh… you aren’t either!] or sobbing over the latest guy to dump them [um… how about focus on your kids first before you plan on making more]. Yup, I’m now that old lady on my cyber porch yelling at these kids to get off my lawn.
The other day, a high school friend marveled at the fact that my dad, who once shunned computers, had commented on my Facebook status, and then she wondered, “What are all these old people doing on Facebook?? Tell your parents to get off Facebook!”. It now occurs to me, however, we are those old people, too.

Apparently, aspects of Facebook are like the modeling industry: even though you’re not old, generally, you are too old for some things. It’s like the bouncer in Knocked Up said, “I didn’t mean you’re too old for this earth. You’re too old for this club.” I’m not saying I’m too old for Facebook (or that anyone is), but I guess I’m just too old to be “friends” with certain people.

Creator: 3DAL, LLC
Price: $0.99
Pop Culture Mom Rating: 5 out of 5

This is one of the great bargains as far as iPhone apps for toddlers goes. You get eight games in one. Each game involves a different skill: colors, numbers, shapes, parts of the body, matching, “art” (which is actually coloring), sounds (animal sounds) and typing.




Colors



This game is often my daughter's favorite. Pop Culture Toddler is really into sea creatures right now, so this game is right up her alley. When your toddler touches on the colored splotches above, they temporarily transform into the following:

Yellow - fish
Blue - whale
Purple - octopus
Orange - starfish
Green - sea turtle
Red - sea horse
Pink - sea anemone

A child's voice announces the name of the color and the name of the creature. Although I know my daughter only truly knows a few colors, if you ask her to find the proper color/creature combo, she gets it right every time.

One frustrating part of the game is that toddlers will have trouble with accuracy, especially at the beginning. PCT often tries to click on something such as the seahorse, but gets the sea anemone instead. In fact, the errors almost always result in the sea anemone.

Numbers




"Numbers" is your classic connect-the-dots game. This game is still a little too advanced for Pop Culture Toddler (which is why, I guess, this iPhone app is called "preschool" adventure rather than "toddler" adventure). We try to play it every now and then, but I don't think she'll fully appreciate it for a number of months.

Shapes



Honestly, this is really similar to "Colors," only instead of sea creatures, you get shapes with googly eyes which disappear when they jump out of their respective craters. But since toddlers are apparently impervious to boredom via repetition, PCT loves this game.

Artist



In this game, there are four pictures to "paint" any way you choose. Pop Culture Toddler only plays with this when she is absolutely bored with the other games. I, however, think it's fun. If only there were more colors!

Body



This game teaches your little one the parts of the body by saying the name and putting them on the correct spot on the monkey when clicked. PCT already knew her body parts when we got Preschool Adventure, so this isn't really a teaching tool. She just likes the monkey.

Matching




This game looks like it should be boring at all get out, but Pop Culture Toddler giggles every time she plays with it. There are three sliding parts, and you have to click to change each one out until you filly form one of a bear, a pig, an alligator, or a caterpillar (which then turns into a butterfly). Very cute.

Sounds



Honestly, we rarely play this game, because we have another farm animal game Pop Culture Toddler enjoys more. She doesn't mind this game, however. It's just not at the top of her to-play list.

Typing



Pop Culture Toddler occasionally likes to play with the typing game, which involves pressing a letter on an on-screen keyboard, then seeing a large block version of the letter (you can shift between caps and lower case), followed by an animal whose name starts with that letter.


I think some of the animals chosen for the letters are a bit random [for instance, would you automatically think “giraffe” or “gorilla” would be the “G” animal? I would. It’s a gazelle. And the "N" animal is a newt. Really?!]; but my daughter seems to enjoy it anyway. She gets to "type" and keep her grubby little hands off my computer. Everybody wins.

Overall Impression
Certainly, not every game is a clear hit, and some children are going to prefer certain games to others. As far as value for the money and educational value, however, it's pretty hard to argue with paying less than a dollar (before tax) for eight games. Even if your child only likes one, you've gotten your money's worth.

Creator: Sesame Street
Price: $3.99
Pop Culture Mom Rating: 4.5 out of 5

I will be the first to admit, despite my daughter's Elmo obsession, I resisted purchasing this toddler iPhone app for a really long time. iTunes even recommended it to me several times before I finally broke down a couple weeks ago and purchased it.

The concept seemed incredibly stupid: help Elmo design monster friends. Seriously? How could that be remotely fun for a toddler? For one, her obsession is with Elmo, not other monsters. Additionally, designing a monster seems like too difficult (and boring) of a task for a toddler to perform. And for four dollars?? Thanks, but no thanks App Genius.

Well, I stand corrected. The game is easy enough for my 21-month old to play, and she absolutely loves it.

Here's how it works: Elmo asks you to click on a monster so you can create a new friend. And out parade a bunch of faceless monsters saying "Hello" in different cutesy monster voices. Your child clicks on a monster, and then the fun begins.

Elmo walks your child through creating a monster face by adding eyes, a nose, and (if desired). If your child randomly touches the iPhone screen anywhere, chances are s/he will end up choosing a set of eyes, a nose or a hat. Besides, let's face it, your toddler really doesn't care what the monster looks like in the end.

After the monster is created, your child can then take a picture of the monster with a randomly selected background, have the monster interact with Elmo, or watch the monster dance. Pop Culture Toddler loves all of the activities, but it appears her favorite is the dancing. There are three different styles of music with matching backgrounds, but her favorite is the country western-style music with the western background. When the music starts going, her little fists start pumping, and she starts getting down with the monster.

This toddler iPhone app has been a joy for my daughter, and I'm sorry I resisted it for so long. Better late than never, though, right?

Here's one of the pictures Pop Culture Toddler saved to my camera roll of one of her monsters:

I love Hello Kitty almost to the point of a sick obsession. When I was pregnant, I found out that Build-a-Bear was featuring a limited edition Hawaiian Hello Kitty. I promptly bought one. When the purrfect Kitty arrived, a co-worker asked if she was any indication of my baby's gender (unknown to the outside world). You should have seen her face when I announced no, the Hello Kitty was mine, and "I don't share."

Despite my husband's jokes that, boy or girl, we would have a Hello Kitty nursery, I restrained myself. Hello Kitty is my love, not necessarily my child's. And, again, I don't share. I wasn't even the person who bought my daughter her first Hello Kitty wares; but after it became apparent that my daughter, too, loved Hello Kitty, I bought her each subsequent one.

My baby girl can pick Hello Kitty out of a five cat lineup, easily. She is such a fan -- not as big a fan as me, but I have [cough cough cough] years on her. She could catch up. Someday.

Right now, one of her prized possessions is a Hello Kitty towel, with Kitty's head on the hood, bearing a HUGE three-dimensional bow. Tonight after her bath, my daughter wanted to wear the towel after her pajamas were on. Then she wanted to wear it to bed. Once in bed, she took Hello Kitty off... For about five minutes.

Out of nowhere, this girl starts having a temper tantrum over her Hello Kitty-deficient head. I know her pain. So... I let her wear it to sleep. No joke.

Sanrio Dreams, my sweetheart!


Posted from my iPhone, so please forgive any ducking typos.

We interrupt this pop culture parenting update to bring you this public service announcement...

So you've never raised kids of your own and never even been or gotten someone pregnant, but you've got a lot of time on your hands? How about you fill that gap with coming up with creative ways to unleash parent anger -- like by trying to educate parents (you know, real parents, not wannabe parents or dog parents) on how to raise their kids?

Actually, DON'T. As annoying as it is when someone with actual experience gives unsolicited advice and/or suggests their way of doing something personal and subjective (such as.... whether to formula feed or breastfeed, maybe?), there is nothing worse than someone with no practical hands-on experience trying to "educate" parents with things they learned by reading some parenting book.

Oh... How cute! You know how to read! Chances are, so do the people you are trying to "educate." It is quite arrogant to assume that just because someone reaches a different conclusion from you - whether out of a conscious and calculated effort or out of necessity - that their decision was ill-formed or made based on no research. Most efforts to "educate" parents, particularly those who come from non-parents, are just offensive.

I realize that everyone makes this mistake at some point. I'm sure before I was a mom, I made some ignorant suggestion to a friend or family member based on something I've read or heard. And I'll be the first to admit that sometimes, some person's well-researched tip comes in handy. This blog post is not aimed at those sort of blips. This advisory is for those repeat offenders -- those smart cookies who think that just because they know how to read several books and process information, they know what is best in most, if not all, situations, and for all people.

Reading parenting books and medical articles alone does not make one qualified to educate parents with their medical "knowledge" or "well-researched" parenting advice any more than reading the Constitution makes me a Founding Father. People make these mistakes in all walks of life. There is nothing funnier and more aggravating to us lawyers than when some yahoo spends time "researching" on Findlaw.com and then walks into a courtroom, thinking he now knows how to actually be a lawyer. Ever heard "the man who represents himself has a fool for a client"? There's a reason for that statement. It's true.

The steep learning curve attached to being a lawyer is nothing compared to that of being a parent. There is more on-the-job training for parenting than one could ever imagine -- I know I certainly didn't. Most parents find that sometimes even their past experiences can't prepare them for their next. It's all trial and error, and most of us are doing the best we can.

People should read parenting books and parenting blogs... for useful tips and to figure out the type of parent they want to be. But no source(s) should ever be taken as gospel. And under NO circumstances should research uncoupled with field experience ever be deemed as proper credentials entitling you to educate parents.


Posted from my iPhone, so please forgive any ducking typos.