You may have heard the good news: Halle Berry has proven that feminism is not dead!

Oh, sorry. I realize that was confusing. After all, Halle Berry, known from flitting from one (abusive or just otherwise dysfunctional) relationship to the next, whose career heights are directly proportionate to her looks and how much boobage she flashes rather than her actual acting talent (which is negligible at best), who thinks she's haunted by the spirits of other beautiful women from the past, and who is a notoriously bad driver, is not exactly the first person to come to mind when you mention "feminist."

However, this week, Ms. Berry, with the help of the family court system, achieved one of the goals of old school feminism: that men and women be treated equally. You see, this week, a judge ordered that Halle Berry pay her baby daddy, Gabriel Aubrey, $20,000 a month in child support. This amount was requested by her ex-love on the basis that their daughter, Nahla, should be able to live in the lifestyle with which she had become accustomed during those times she is with Daddy. Hey, it worked for Camille Grammer, right?

So thanks, Halle (and Gabriel), for helping keep us equal.


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Oh, are you here because you thought I was ranting against Jillian Michaels? Boy are you out of luck.

Look, personally, I'm no Jillian Michaels super fan. I didn't watch The Biggest Loser [I've seen it maybe three times ever]. I got her Wii Fitness game a couple years ago, and it bored me to tears -- now I know why it was on sale. I don't dislike her though. And, quite honestly, on a daily basis, I don't even think about her. I imagine most people don't.

All of the sudden, though, Jillian becomes a mom, and she's everywhere you look. Last week, when I saw the first picture of her adopted daughter and newborn son, as they say on Ni-Hao, Kai-Lan, "It made my heart feel super happy!". I'm one of those mommy-geeks, so any time I see a picture of a happy mother and child, I'm ecstatic. Even moreso than my usual mom-geekdom, however, I was overjoyed because Ms. Michaels and her partner adopted a child from Haiti and their biological baby [yes, I said "their." DEAL WITH IT] looks (though I am not sure if she is) biracial.

And then I read the comments on the article on People.com, and my super happy heart got super stabby. Forgive me, I'm still training myself to ignore the comments. I have to keep reminding myself that the anonymity of the internet makes every darn fool come out and show off their ignorance. I have to tell myself that most people don't think like the people who comment on news (including entertainment news) articles... If I let myself think that most of the world thinks like the comment world, I truly could not live here. I could not.

Apparently people of the Comment World fall into the following camps: (1) normal people who are happy to see a happy mother and that people are adopting [these are my peeps]; (2) people who are upset her child(ren are) is black; and (3) people who, most of whom weren't even aware of Jillian Michaels' sexuality prior to this point (I know I wasn't; didn't care either way. Still don't.), who can't get over the "OMG, she's gay! And why do gay people have babies? And is she going to make these babies gay? And that child isn't hers if she didn't carry it or contribute an egg!" camp. These are the people I'm ranting against. In a word: Seriously?!?!?!

First, how in the world does it affect you at all if Jillian Michaels and her partner, any other gay couple in the world, or even one singular gay person, has a child? You can't make someone gay by raising them with a gay parent or two--if you could, then straight people wouldn't keep having so many gay children, now would they? And even if you could "make" someone gay, who the eff cares?? How does anyone else's sexuality affect you on a personal basis, unless that person is the one with whom you are partnered?

I, for one, am glad to see children being raised in a loving home, and I am especially glad to see black children being adopted. Unless or until someone else adopts a needy child, I don't want to hear boo about what you think about another couple's right to adopt. NOTHING. Haters will hate, but they certainly won't do anything to help, now will they?

So, although I was Jillian Michaels neutral, consider me a new fan... of her as a mother. To those of you out there who are negatively and hyper concerned about the gender of the person she loves or the color of her children's skin, go get a life, why dontcha?




(photo by People magazine)


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Did you see those last few posts and wonder what the heck I was doing with all the one-liners? Justifying my parenting decisions the only way I should ever have to.

Forget the stupid Times Magazine cover. Forget what some know-it-all with a different parenting style from yours told you that you "have" to do in order to be a good parent.

There are a million ways to parent, and only a few of them are truly bad. Unless you fall into one of those truly bad (abuse or neglect) categories, you don't owe explanations to anyone.


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Because I want to and I can.

Because it's what's best for babies in general and my family in particular, because I can, and because I want to.