Your Child Is Not Special… To Anyone Except You, Your Friends and Family
I know, I know. You’ve read the title, and you’re already ready to rip me a new one. But hear me out.
I know your child is loved. I know your child is special. But what I also know, is that this love and feeling of specialness does not extend beyond your inner circle. The same is true of my child.
I attended a seminar this week about generation differences. The speaker pointed out that Generation Y (ages 13 – 30 generally) is more of the “entitled” generation, because their parents spent their lives telling them that they were special “and they believed it.” Parents have taken away the work experiences – there are no paper routes, no lemonade stands, no one mowing the lawns, these kids were too busy with extra curricular activities to babysit. So these children, now some adults, don’t even learn to grow up until they show up on the job, and they need their bosses to teach them what in the past parents did. The speaker told the Baby Boomers to blame themselves for this; so the next time they’re complaining about the know-nothing “kid” straight out of law school, they need to remember that they created these monsters. I completely agree.
I don’t know what the mark of Generation Z will be, but I have a pretty good idea. As “special” as the Baby Boomers told Generation Y they were, many of us Generation Xers are guilty of being even more over the top. Maybe it’s a cultural thing, but I want to break the mold. Yes, I want my child to understand that she is special—to me, to Pop Culture Dad, to her grandparents, aunts and uncles, and to my friends. But is she special to the rest of the world? No. Should she be special to the rest of the world? Not automatically. Specialness is something that’s earned not given. You don’t earn the title of being “special” simply for doing the things you should do (“Oh! You showed up on time and did your work? How wonderful!!” Uh… no); you are special for being extraordinary. And if you aren’t making the effort or going that extra mile to stand out from the rest of the world, then you need to drop the expectation that the rest of the world will find you as special and wonderful and your family and close friends. And we, as parents, need to stop giving our children these unrealistic expectations and then thrusting these self-entitled brats with me-me-me attitudes on the rest of the world.
I have witnessed far too many kids and adults who walk around with an air of entitlement, because they have been told all their life that they are special and wonderful, and this statement was never qualified. Somehow, these “special” adults have gone throughout life without having the idea challenged – at least, they haven’t recognized that the idea was challenged. These are the people who think that if they don’t get something they want, either it was stolen from them or some sort of unfairness is at play. I don’t dispute that things can be “stolen” or that there is unfairness in the world (a lot of unfairness), but there are many people who think that every time something doesn’t go their way, there must have been foul play. Sorry to break it to you, but the culprit isn’t the world, it’s your ego. Somewhere along the way, someone should have told you (him, her, whoever), that you are not that special – to anyone except your family and your/their friends.
It starts with children. We tell our children from the very beginning that they can do no wrong. Everything they do is perfect and wonderful. There is no problem with this. The problem comes in when we don’t let our children know that while we may hold this opinion, as do Nana and Papa, Auntie Whoever, and Mommy’s best friend, that random person you meet along the way – that person who may at some point hold your academic or professional fate in their hands – does not feel that way. I have heard various stories where someone’s child doesn’t get an award or doesn’t get into their first-choice school, and this person’s immediate assumption – without any hard core proof is “Well, the person who got my child’s spot got it because s/he is a minority/woman/bribed someone.” This parent is part of the problem. Sorry, but the world doesn’t work to conspire against one person. Sometimes – and I know this is a tough pill to swallow – we don’t get things in life, because we just aren’t good enough or special enough.
“But, but, but. My child had a 3.9 and scored a 1580 on the SATs and took piano!”. So did thousands of other children. And, quite honestly, place yourself in the shoes of a college application review board. If you see 15,000 applications from absolutely identical applicants, and you only have 1,000 spots, are any of these children special to you, regardless of how special they are to their parents, grandparents, cousins, etc.? Of course not. But you know who may seem more special than your child? The kid with the 3.6 and 1400 on the SATs, who played a sport and volunteered in her community, who also didn’t have the funds to take the same Princeton Review that 13,000 of the 15,000 identical applicants took. Yes, you may think your child looks better on paper, but you’d likely be wrong. In any event, the specialness that you personally attribute to your offspring is not passed on to a college application review board, a boss, or anyone else in the world. Again, if one wants to be special to others, one must in fact be special.
I know there are some parents who disagree. There are parents who think that I am damaging my child’s psyche by not letting her make every single decision or sharing in the fantasy (nay, fallacy) that she is special to everyone in the world because she is to me. I don’t care. I want my children to be those kids who have learned a work ethic, who have learned how to earn respect rather than just expecting it. I want them to grow up learning over the years how to be responsible adults rather than learning it on the job at age 25. If people don’t agree, then fine. Raise your kids however you want. But for me, I don’t plan on being that parent 25 years from now lamenting over the fact that my child is bouncing from job to job because her “boss doesn’t get her” or “she doesn’t feel fulfilled” after only being there one month.
I know your child is loved. I know your child is special. But what I also know, is that this love and feeling of specialness does not extend beyond your inner circle. The same is true of my child.
I attended a seminar this week about generation differences. The speaker pointed out that Generation Y (ages 13 – 30 generally) is more of the “entitled” generation, because their parents spent their lives telling them that they were special “and they believed it.” Parents have taken away the work experiences – there are no paper routes, no lemonade stands, no one mowing the lawns, these kids were too busy with extra curricular activities to babysit. So these children, now some adults, don’t even learn to grow up until they show up on the job, and they need their bosses to teach them what in the past parents did. The speaker told the Baby Boomers to blame themselves for this; so the next time they’re complaining about the know-nothing “kid” straight out of law school, they need to remember that they created these monsters. I completely agree.
I don’t know what the mark of Generation Z will be, but I have a pretty good idea. As “special” as the Baby Boomers told Generation Y they were, many of us Generation Xers are guilty of being even more over the top. Maybe it’s a cultural thing, but I want to break the mold. Yes, I want my child to understand that she is special—to me, to Pop Culture Dad, to her grandparents, aunts and uncles, and to my friends. But is she special to the rest of the world? No. Should she be special to the rest of the world? Not automatically. Specialness is something that’s earned not given. You don’t earn the title of being “special” simply for doing the things you should do (“Oh! You showed up on time and did your work? How wonderful!!” Uh… no); you are special for being extraordinary. And if you aren’t making the effort or going that extra mile to stand out from the rest of the world, then you need to drop the expectation that the rest of the world will find you as special and wonderful and your family and close friends. And we, as parents, need to stop giving our children these unrealistic expectations and then thrusting these self-entitled brats with me-me-me attitudes on the rest of the world.
I have witnessed far too many kids and adults who walk around with an air of entitlement, because they have been told all their life that they are special and wonderful, and this statement was never qualified. Somehow, these “special” adults have gone throughout life without having the idea challenged – at least, they haven’t recognized that the idea was challenged. These are the people who think that if they don’t get something they want, either it was stolen from them or some sort of unfairness is at play. I don’t dispute that things can be “stolen” or that there is unfairness in the world (a lot of unfairness), but there are many people who think that every time something doesn’t go their way, there must have been foul play. Sorry to break it to you, but the culprit isn’t the world, it’s your ego. Somewhere along the way, someone should have told you (him, her, whoever), that you are not that special – to anyone except your family and your/their friends.
It starts with children. We tell our children from the very beginning that they can do no wrong. Everything they do is perfect and wonderful. There is no problem with this. The problem comes in when we don’t let our children know that while we may hold this opinion, as do Nana and Papa, Auntie Whoever, and Mommy’s best friend, that random person you meet along the way – that person who may at some point hold your academic or professional fate in their hands – does not feel that way. I have heard various stories where someone’s child doesn’t get an award or doesn’t get into their first-choice school, and this person’s immediate assumption – without any hard core proof is “Well, the person who got my child’s spot got it because s/he is a minority/woman/bribed someone.” This parent is part of the problem. Sorry, but the world doesn’t work to conspire against one person. Sometimes – and I know this is a tough pill to swallow – we don’t get things in life, because we just aren’t good enough or special enough.
“But, but, but. My child had a 3.9 and scored a 1580 on the SATs and took piano!”. So did thousands of other children. And, quite honestly, place yourself in the shoes of a college application review board. If you see 15,000 applications from absolutely identical applicants, and you only have 1,000 spots, are any of these children special to you, regardless of how special they are to their parents, grandparents, cousins, etc.? Of course not. But you know who may seem more special than your child? The kid with the 3.6 and 1400 on the SATs, who played a sport and volunteered in her community, who also didn’t have the funds to take the same Princeton Review that 13,000 of the 15,000 identical applicants took. Yes, you may think your child looks better on paper, but you’d likely be wrong. In any event, the specialness that you personally attribute to your offspring is not passed on to a college application review board, a boss, or anyone else in the world. Again, if one wants to be special to others, one must in fact be special.
I know there are some parents who disagree. There are parents who think that I am damaging my child’s psyche by not letting her make every single decision or sharing in the fantasy (nay, fallacy) that she is special to everyone in the world because she is to me. I don’t care. I want my children to be those kids who have learned a work ethic, who have learned how to earn respect rather than just expecting it. I want them to grow up learning over the years how to be responsible adults rather than learning it on the job at age 25. If people don’t agree, then fine. Raise your kids however you want. But for me, I don’t plan on being that parent 25 years from now lamenting over the fact that my child is bouncing from job to job because her “boss doesn’t get her” or “she doesn’t feel fulfilled” after only being there one month.
Today I'm Watching... My Child
Today I was in the cafe at Target getting nachos and an Icee [I'm 21 weeks pregnant. Don't judge!] when a little girl around the age of 5 or 6 got in line behind me. She got a little impatient while the cashier was making my nachos, so she started standing and sort of bouncing on the flimsy chips display case in front of us.
I am always careful with what I say to strangers' kids, because the last thing I want is to give some random nutjob a reason to go off on me. This time, I decided to let it go with a simple "Ooh, sweetie. Don't stand on that. You don't want it to fall under you." She got down, and no one confronted me. Two crises averted.
While I was grabbing napkins, the little girl ran past me and went running through the aisles of Target. That was the first time it occurred to me - Where is her mother?. My internal question was soon answered when the little girl darted into the Starbucks inside the store. However, this revelation did nothing to soothe me.
There are no parts of the cafe visible from the Starbucks and vice versa. In the same amount of time it took me to warn the little girl about standing on the chips display case, she could have been snatched. If I hadn't said anything, there was a possibility this little girl could have fallen and gotten injured. The little girl could have even decided that, instead of buying chips, she wanted to exit the store completely and cross the parking lot (The exit is also not visible from the internal Starbucks). All of these things - bad things - could and have happened, all without the mom knowing until it is too late.
Maybe I'm just paranoid. I have read too many stories about children being abducted from toy aisles while their parents shopped elsewhere in the same store. I've heard too many stories of children being snatched or running away into peril when their parents looked away for just a minute. I have watched too many episodes of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. Thirty years ago, one of my cousin's 15-year old best friend was abducted, raped and murdered on her way walking to meet her little sister and me at our pre-K and walk us home [in another dangerous situation, after waiting an hour without someone meeting us, the sister and I - both four at the time - walked home two miles by ourselves]. So, yes, I may be a little over-paranoid about letting my five year old stroll the aisles of a large store by herself. And I'm okay with that.
I'm not saying parents should watch their children with the almost obsessive-compulsive hawkishness that I can exhibit from time to time. But I do think that parents should keep their guards up even when in their own neighborhood. I'm sure the mom thought her child would be fine going to get chips on her own, because she was in a store in our neighborhood, and our neighborhood is safe. And, yes, this little girl was fine, so it was not an unreasonable assumption to make. However, our neighborhood is not a utopia. Many kids are abducted from or severely - even fatally - injured in their own front yards. I think kids should be able to play and have fun. However, I know that for myself, I don't ever want to be in a position where if, goodness forbid, something happens to my child, I am forever plagued with the thought of "If only I had kept an eye on her."
So, for me, I'm going to continue to let my child be a child — but within my eyesight and earshot. How about the rest of you? Am I being paranoid, or has the state of the world the last few years caused you to be overly cautious also?
posted via iPhone
I am always careful with what I say to strangers' kids, because the last thing I want is to give some random nutjob a reason to go off on me. This time, I decided to let it go with a simple "Ooh, sweetie. Don't stand on that. You don't want it to fall under you." She got down, and no one confronted me. Two crises averted.
While I was grabbing napkins, the little girl ran past me and went running through the aisles of Target. That was the first time it occurred to me - Where is her mother?. My internal question was soon answered when the little girl darted into the Starbucks inside the store. However, this revelation did nothing to soothe me.
There are no parts of the cafe visible from the Starbucks and vice versa. In the same amount of time it took me to warn the little girl about standing on the chips display case, she could have been snatched. If I hadn't said anything, there was a possibility this little girl could have fallen and gotten injured. The little girl could have even decided that, instead of buying chips, she wanted to exit the store completely and cross the parking lot (The exit is also not visible from the internal Starbucks). All of these things - bad things - could and have happened, all without the mom knowing until it is too late.
Maybe I'm just paranoid. I have read too many stories about children being abducted from toy aisles while their parents shopped elsewhere in the same store. I've heard too many stories of children being snatched or running away into peril when their parents looked away for just a minute. I have watched too many episodes of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. Thirty years ago, one of my cousin's 15-year old best friend was abducted, raped and murdered on her way walking to meet her little sister and me at our pre-K and walk us home [in another dangerous situation, after waiting an hour without someone meeting us, the sister and I - both four at the time - walked home two miles by ourselves]. So, yes, I may be a little over-paranoid about letting my five year old stroll the aisles of a large store by herself. And I'm okay with that.
I'm not saying parents should watch their children with the almost obsessive-compulsive hawkishness that I can exhibit from time to time. But I do think that parents should keep their guards up even when in their own neighborhood. I'm sure the mom thought her child would be fine going to get chips on her own, because she was in a store in our neighborhood, and our neighborhood is safe. And, yes, this little girl was fine, so it was not an unreasonable assumption to make. However, our neighborhood is not a utopia. Many kids are abducted from or severely - even fatally - injured in their own front yards. I think kids should be able to play and have fun. However, I know that for myself, I don't ever want to be in a position where if, goodness forbid, something happens to my child, I am forever plagued with the thought of "If only I had kept an eye on her."
So, for me, I'm going to continue to let my child be a child — but within my eyesight and earshot. How about the rest of you? Am I being paranoid, or has the state of the world the last few years caused you to be overly cautious also?
posted via iPhone
Taking the Pledge Against Cyber Bullying
Back in the late-80s through early-90s, I was a scrawny little, nerdy thing with braces and glasses. I had always been this way, but there was something about middle school and high school that made other children notice my puny geekiness even more. I was teased, called names, and even had a girl or two threaten to fight me for daring to say that someone who verbally harassed me was a "bitch." Sure, I was bullied, though not to the extent that kids today are. And I am also ashamed to admit that I am pretty sure (thought I can't remember), there was probably a kid or two who I gave as good as I was getting [though I doubt I ever threatened to fight anyone -- when you weigh 70 or 80 pounds, it's just not a smart thing to do...]. At some point by the end of high school, no one really seemed to care that I was 90 pounds at 5'7" [with the exception of (1) this overweight girl who used to call me Olive Oyl every day; and (2) my friends who would get visibly upset watching me scarf down enough lunch for two people without putting on a single pound, while it was all they could do to keep their weight in check], a complete drama geek, and vice president of our chapter of the National Honor Society. Nor did anyone care that I didn't have a cool bone in my body. By college and law school, I was actually (gasp!) one of the popular gals. With all those traumatic years of middle school and the beginning of high school far, far behind me, I thought I had long left the days of bullies. Boy was I ever wrong.
I was reintroduced to the world of bullies shortly after becoming pregnant with Pop Culture Toddler. I joined a parenting message board. Although my time on that site was generally wonderful, and I have made some great and hopefully lifelong friends out of the process, I also witnessed behavior that I thought was left behind junior year of high school. I was pregnant with Pop Culture Toddler during an election year. Now, politics and pregnancy hormones generally don't mix as it is; however, some of these ladies took things to the extreme. I witnessed a now-friend of mine (a lovely lady who I have hung out with in person a number of times, who I know to be a loyal and generous friend) called "terrorist," simply because she is Muslim. There were a few girls on one of my expecting boards who prided themselves on being the Bad Mommy club, who would pick fights with other moms just to entertain themselves. When the admins cracked down on the drama on our board, they started picking fights with other expecting months and even a competing website. I also witnessed one crazy mother on my other expecting board who, in addition to bragging about throwing a television set at her husband, constantly harassed other mothers, called one mother the "N" word in her "happy birthday" message, and made comments about vile things (which I will not repeat) that she did while looking at pictures of our children. I have also seen people come to board designated for blended, bi-racial/multi-ethnic, and (unofficial) LGBT families and make either racist, bigoted, separatist or homophobic comments, just to get their jollies. I have seen all of this by people who are allegedly there to have support during their (or their partners') pregnancies and life as parents. Yes, these crazy people (assuming the majority of them weren't true trolls) are raising children. Sad.
This wasn't the end of it. As a Featured Blogger on that same website, I would often get comments from people who apparently had nothing better to do with their time than pick on the bloggers. Although I have always been that mother who maintains that things I do and advocate are what's right for my family and my family alone, I would get several comments either accusing me of thinking I'm "always right" or just outright attacking me for things I did -- very personal parenting choices. Whether it was my decision to practice attachment parenting, following my pediatrician's advice for calcium substitutes for my milk-allergen carrying kid, my husband's and my decision to pierce our infant daughter's ears, or my choice to breast feed in public, there was always some parent (not always women, mind you) who had something snarky and hateful to say.
I saw my other mommy friends attacked, too. One of my friends was attacked for daring to enjoy a vacation with her husband while her in-laws watched her children. Recently, I have watched with horror as one of my dearest friends gets attacked on a constant basis. In some cases, we know or at least suspect who some of these cyberbullies are. In others, it's the same sort of cyberbully who attacked me -- idiots who think that the anonymity provided by the Internet gives them free license to be hateful. I have even recently heard the case of one mother who was basically attacked as an "accomplice" in her child's accidental death, while his pictures were stolen off her blog and co-opted as a poster child for their cause by the same group attacking her. It's all immature, deplorable behavior.
Now there's nothing wrong with expressing an opposing view, but there is something wrong with being hateful and ugly in expressing that view. Not to mention, it gets you nowhere.
This is why I was so glad to hear about the Mommy Blogger Pledge. It's time for bloggers to take control and bring civility back to discourse. Sure, we cannot control the actions of others, but we can take control of how we react to it. I can't stop someone from calling me names or harshly criticizing my actions, but I can choose not to engage in similar behavior and to delete the offending comments before a comment thread gets out of hand. I will not feed the trolls.
If we want to teach our children that bullying is wrong, it's important that we set a good example. If you have a blog, I invite you to take The Pledge, and if you don't, I implore you to consider The Pledge when leaving comments on others' blogs.
When Tragedy Strikes, Who Gets Your Most Precious Cargo? (Modern Family)
On last night's absolutely hilarious episode of 'Modern Family' ("Someone to Watch Over Lily"), Cameron and Mitchell spied on Mitchell's family members in order to determine who would get their daughter, Lily, in the event they were both deceased ("God forbid!"). First, Mitchell and Cam went over the Mitchell's sister's Claire house. After Claire's husband, Phil, set the kitchen on fire, her daughter Haley called her "the worst mom in the world," and her daughter Alex barges in the kitchen wondering why no one heard her screaming while she was locked in the garage for the past 20 minutes, it was pretty clear that the Dunphys were out of the running as Lily's potential guardians. Mitchell was set on his father and young step-mother Gloria, but Cameron had his reservations about Papa Jay. Eventually, the pair settled on Jay and Gloria, leading Gloria to shout with glee that Lily was finally hers and taking Lily upstairs to see her "new room."
In addition to making my husband and I laugh until our sides hurt and we had tears coming out of our eyes, it got us thinking: we have not yet written our wills or issued directives on what would happen to our children in the event something happened to us. Sure, we've discussed it plenty of times, but we've never come to a final conclusion. We have someone in mind who would be the perfect guardian, but we've never finalized that decision with each other, let alone talked to the family to see how they feel about the situation.
Considering I'm a lawyer and have done pro bono work putting together wills and powers of attorney for others, it's really sloppy of me to not have drafted wills for my Pop Culture Dad and myself. Honestly, I started the drafts nearly three years ago, when I was pregnant with Pop Culture Toddler. However, here I am pregnant with Pop Culture Kid #2, and we have yet to put anything final on paper. Shame, shame!
This weekend is a long holiday weekend, and as they say, "There's no time like the present." In between cleaning out the guest room to transform it into a princess paradise for Pop Culture Toddler and otherwise just getting our house in order, Pop Culture Dad and I need to spend the weekend getting our affairs in order. I plan on making sure we carve out some time to do our wills (which, honestly, shouldn't take very long) and then, once we declare with certainty that we do in fact want the guardians we originally discussed, give them a call to see how they feel about the subject. There's really no reason we shouldn't have done this sooner, and there is no good reason to delay it any further.
So how about the rest of you -- are your affairs in order? If not, what's holding you back? Is it a sense of laziness/disorganization, like what happened with us? Or is it more of an issue of really not knowing who you would trust with your children? Or is it something else entirely?
(image courtesy of ABC.com)
I've Lost That Disney Magic
Beauty and the Beast is not just one of my favorite Disney movies, it's easily one of my favorite movies, period. When it was first released, I actually saw it in the theaters with my friends — in high school (don't judge). I've owed the VHS version and probably every DVD version ever released, all long before I had a child. After Pop Culture Toddler was born, and once we finally broke down and purchased a Blu-Ray player, I purchased the platinum edition of the movie. Like most of my favorite movies, I can recite many lines by heart. I know all of the songs, even the new one, which was never part of the theatrical release. So, given my love of Beauty and the Beast, why is that with each year I just get more and more cynical/questioning about parts of the movie?
Let's start with the whole reason the prince turned into the Beast. A beggar woman showed up at his door unannounced and asked for shelter for the night, and he said no. Uh... She's lucky he even opened the door. If some stranger shows up at our house in the middle of the night, I'm pretending we're not home. The last thing I'm doing is offering them a bed. This would apply even after she revealed herself to be a hottie sorceress. Maybe if she was offering Girl Scout cookies, I'd at least open the door; but she still would not get an invite in. The Beast is perfectly blameless in this one.
And how about that curse? The Beast has to find true love by age 21. Twenty-one?? Very few people I know had found true love that young. And what about Mrs. Pott's claim that they have been waiting 12 years for the spell to be broken. Are we talking dog years or something? If not, then this sorceress basically punished a nine-year old child for not letting her have a sleepover. That is seriously problematic.
Speaking of Mrs. Potts... (1) are all of the cups her children, or just Chip? Mrs. Potts tells Chip to get in the cupboard with his brothers and sisters, but Chip is the only one who appears to have changed back to a human when the curse is lifted. How in the world does she have a son that young when she is so very old, anyway?
And, I get that the moral of the story is acceptance, tolerance, and not judging people solely by their appearances, but the Beast is still (as far as Belle knows anyway) a different species. I don't care how nice he is, it's still bestiality. Ew.
And where does this story take place? Everyone says "bonjour," "monsieur," "madame," and "mademoiselle." There are names like Belle, Gaston, and Le Fou. However, the accents are distinctly American and only two of the characters (Lumière and his feather duster girlfriend) have French accents. The best I can figure, this all takes place in Canada.
I have many more questions and more just arise every time I watch the movie. For now, however, it's safe to assume I've lost the innocence and wondrous magic of Disney.
Let's start with the whole reason the prince turned into the Beast. A beggar woman showed up at his door unannounced and asked for shelter for the night, and he said no. Uh... She's lucky he even opened the door. If some stranger shows up at our house in the middle of the night, I'm pretending we're not home. The last thing I'm doing is offering them a bed. This would apply even after she revealed herself to be a hottie sorceress. Maybe if she was offering Girl Scout cookies, I'd at least open the door; but she still would not get an invite in. The Beast is perfectly blameless in this one.
And how about that curse? The Beast has to find true love by age 21. Twenty-one?? Very few people I know had found true love that young. And what about Mrs. Pott's claim that they have been waiting 12 years for the spell to be broken. Are we talking dog years or something? If not, then this sorceress basically punished a nine-year old child for not letting her have a sleepover. That is seriously problematic.
Speaking of Mrs. Potts... (1) are all of the cups her children, or just Chip? Mrs. Potts tells Chip to get in the cupboard with his brothers and sisters, but Chip is the only one who appears to have changed back to a human when the curse is lifted. How in the world does she have a son that young when she is so very old, anyway?
And, I get that the moral of the story is acceptance, tolerance, and not judging people solely by their appearances, but the Beast is still (as far as Belle knows anyway) a different species. I don't care how nice he is, it's still bestiality. Ew.
And where does this story take place? Everyone says "bonjour," "monsieur," "madame," and "mademoiselle." There are names like Belle, Gaston, and Le Fou. However, the accents are distinctly American and only two of the characters (Lumière and his feather duster girlfriend) have French accents. The best I can figure, this all takes place in Canada.
I have many more questions and more just arise every time I watch the movie. For now, however, it's safe to assume I've lost the innocence and wondrous magic of Disney.
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