Bobby Brown: It Turns Out His Services Weren't Need Anyway
On Tuesday, TMZ circulated a video of Bobby Brown stumbling, huffing, and puffing his way through "If It Isn't Love," before eventually just walking off the stage promptly after "I really love her/Love her?/WHAT??". If you aren't familiar with this 80s classic, that isn't the end of the song. It was, however, the end for Bobby.
Sure, I was disappointed Bobby wasn't there, but why was that? It wasn't that I missed his singing. He was never the best voice in the group; that honor went to Ralph Tresvant and was tied with Johnny Gill after Bobby left the group. It isn't that he's the best or most entertaining dancer. There may have been a time that was (partly) true, but it hasn't been true for decades now. Bobby is the youngest member of the group (though not by much), but looks and moves like the oldest. The honor of most entertaining dancers goes to BBD (Ricky Bell, Michael Bivins, and Ronnie DeVoe). Hell, BBD has been making appearances everywhere this summer, and it is almost like it is the summer of 1990 again, with "Poison" being on everyone's playlist. It was featured in Think Like a Man, Too, complete with its own new video. They performed it at Kandi Burruss's wedding reception, which aired on Bravo last week. In fact, everyone there was waiting to hear "Poison," which is probably why it is performed very near the end of the set list.
Really, the only reason I wanted to see Bobby Brown was for the sheer spectacle of it. Just like when he and Whitney Houston had their reality show, Being Bobby Brown, Bobby B. remains a fascinating trainwreck. And, to be honest, I didn't miss it all that much.
New Edition sans Bobby performed Bobby's biggest hit, "My Prerogative", and dammit if they didn't do it better. In fact, "Prerogative" was the only time during the concert that they mentioned Bobby's name at all. He Who Shall Not Be Named is the new Voldemort, and it appears his former coworkers weren't missing him one bit.
Bobby Brown missing the Houston concert for mystery "illness" [drug addiction is an illness... but being old and out of shape because of long-term drug and alcohol addiction is not] just emphasized how extraneous he was to the group. Once the concert was under way, nobody missed that fool at all.
Hmm... There seems to be a spacing problem. Were y'all expecting someone else?
Since I had tickets to the Thursday night show in Houston, all day Wednesday I had co-workers telling me to make sure I brought a camera just in case Bobby had some crazy antics on stage… or, you know, just keeled over.
Before I left to meet my friend for dinner, Pop Culture Dad called me and said I should be home early, because there's no way Bobby Brown was showing up, "The concert should be over in an hour." I declared him wrong. So imagine my surprise when I saw this tweet while trying to figure out the best place to park for the concert:
I assumed it was all Pop Culture Dad's fault:
So imagine my non-surprise when I found out yesterday that Bobby Brown quit the tour.
Here's the thing, though: just like when they booted him out of the group in 1985, New Edition doesn't need Bobby Brown.
Sure, I was disappointed Bobby wasn't there, but why was that? It wasn't that I missed his singing. He was never the best voice in the group; that honor went to Ralph Tresvant and was tied with Johnny Gill after Bobby left the group. It isn't that he's the best or most entertaining dancer. There may have been a time that was (partly) true, but it hasn't been true for decades now. Bobby is the youngest member of the group (though not by much), but looks and moves like the oldest. The honor of most entertaining dancers goes to BBD (Ricky Bell, Michael Bivins, and Ronnie DeVoe). Hell, BBD has been making appearances everywhere this summer, and it is almost like it is the summer of 1990 again, with "Poison" being on everyone's playlist. It was featured in Think Like a Man, Too, complete with its own new video. They performed it at Kandi Burruss's wedding reception, which aired on Bravo last week. In fact, everyone there was waiting to hear "Poison," which is probably why it is performed very near the end of the set list.
Really, the only reason I wanted to see Bobby Brown was for the sheer spectacle of it. Just like when he and Whitney Houston had their reality show, Being Bobby Brown, Bobby B. remains a fascinating trainwreck. And, to be honest, I didn't miss it all that much.
New Edition sans Bobby performed Bobby's biggest hit, "My Prerogative", and dammit if they didn't do it better. In fact, "Prerogative" was the only time during the concert that they mentioned Bobby's name at all. He Who Shall Not Be Named is the new Voldemort, and it appears his former coworkers weren't missing him one bit.
Bobby Brown missing the Houston concert for mystery "illness" [drug addiction is an illness... but being old and out of shape because of long-term drug and alcohol addiction is not] just emphasized how extraneous he was to the group. Once the concert was under way, nobody missed that fool at all.
I wish Bobby Brown luck in his recovery from whatever he is recovering, but I'm not shedding any tears or demanding any partial refunds because of his absence. I'm sure DFW didn't miss him one but last night either.
Here are some fun photos from the concert. If you want to see more video clips, head on over to The Pop Culture Mom YouTube channel.
Do You Wanna Build a Snowman? Hell yeah, we do! (Sewing Project)
Frozen is sort of an obsession in the Pop Cuture Household. We saw the movie on opening weekend, even though we had no idea from the piss-poor marketing what the movie was about. We assumed it was about a reindeer and a snowman—doing what, we did not know. But a coworker of Pop Culture Dad saw the movie with his five-year old daughter on opening day and had given us the recommendation that, since we are all crazy over musicals, we would love it. He isn't even a Broadway fan, but downloaded the soundtrack as soon as he got home and had already memorized one of the songs.
Like most people, we instantly fell in love with Frozen. We saw the movie two more times in the theater (once, courtesy of a ton of free tickets after redeeming our Disney Movie Rewards; the other, the weekend the sing-along version was released). We listened to the soundtrack every day. We made a YouTube playlist of the videos and other clips and watched it every day (sometime multiple times a day) while we waited for the release of the DVD.
Even before the record-breaking shortages on Frozen merchandise, I had decided I wanted to make my own Elsa and Anna costumes. Other than having really gotten addicted to sewing, my main reason was that I hate the Disney official dress-up costumes. We have bought several, and the results are always the same: it looks great in the store, but at some point during the first time it is worn, the dress comes completely unraveled and looks like crap (not to mention there are random strings and bits of elastic all over your house). For $30+, I'm not a fan of something that doesn't even make it through the first wear. So I wanted to make something more durable than what you usually find in the toy aisle.
I often looked at Etsy for inspiration on what I would do once I finally settled down and made my own Frozen costumes. One thing I noticed right away is that I hated the Queen Elsa dresses for little girls that were exact replicas of the original. For adults, I think they are fantastic and beautiful. However, when it comes to little children, though I am the furthest thing from a prude, I think the sight of a little girl in a skin-tight dress clinging to her non-existent hips is a little sick. I loathe kiddie pageants, and the whole thing is a little too Toddlers in Tiaras for my taste. I loved all the Elsa dresses that were true to the original spirit, but clearly made for a child's body.
For some reason, I decided the Princess Anna dress would be the easiest of the two to make first. I don't know what I was thinking. Even ignoring the embroidery (which I did by hand over several days), the sheer number of colors and layers made Anna the more difficult of the two. In fact, at the end of the day, Elsa was easier… much, much easier.
So... without further ado, I present Queen Elsa and Princess Anna of Arendelle (Pop Cuture Kid Edition):
The Anna dress is primarily the base of Simplicity 9497 with the collar taken from another costume pattern. I lengthened the skirt considerably. There is no lining or overskirt and definitely no bows.
Instead of making a separate shirt, vest, and skirt like Anna's, I made it all one dress with varying fabrics. The gold trim is ribbon.
The hand embroidery is the last thing I did (in fact, I just finished it last night, even though the dress has been sewn for a couple of weeks now and I both started and finished the Elsa dress in between). I don't own an embroidery machine and wouldn't know how to use one if I did. In fact, freshman year of college I got fired from a holiday job at an embroidery shop, because I was that bad with machines. However, I've been cross-stitching since I was 10, so I figured, "What the hell? I'll give it a shot." My embroidery isn't perfect by any means. Heck, anyone who is as Type A as Pop Culture Dad generally is when it comes to symmetry might consider it a hot mess, but I'm still proud of it! And it's for a toddler.
Elsa was much more simple. This dress is primarily Simplicity 1508 (D). 
In fact, other than skipping the lining, the sash, and the cording and adding a layer of glittery mesh, sleeves (a modified version of the sleeves I made for the Anna dress), and the cape (which was actually two feet longer before we realized it presented a safety hazard around the house), it is almost exactly the dress. I won't lie, I love this pattern for little girls. It is simple and beautiful and girly and adorable. I may start scheduling monthly tea parties just to have a reason to make a dozen more of this pattern. Little Diva won't mind; she lives [that is not a typo] to dress up.
Overall, my project was pretty successful. The Pop Cultural Girls are happy. I'm happy. They're ready for Princess and Super Hero Day at school later this summer… and Halloween. And with a few more months of practice, I'll be ready to open my Etsy shop of over-priced Frozen-inspired knockoffs to capitalize on the mass hysteria.😉
UPDATE: Since the original post, I made some modifications to the Elsa dress. The sleeves were too itchy for Little Diva, so I made new ones after having her test out several fabrics for their comfort fabric. Since I was already "in there," I Elsa-fied the dress with several bead ribbons, glitter paint, and dollar store ornaments.
Not to be left out, I also fashioned an Anna cape using the new Simplicity Disney-official Frozen pattern (Simplicity 1220).
I would say they're pretty happy with the end results:
No, I'm Not a Recluse, a Snob, or an Alcoholic; I'm an Introvert. Niceto Meet You!
Last week, one of my across-the-street neighbors ("C") came by to let us know that her husband and two other guys on our street had decided to have a crawfish boil on Saturday. She wanted to invite us and also make sure we had moved any cars away for the bouncy house [I assumed the visit was more for the latter than the former]. The day of the block party, Pop Culture Dad was going to be gone for a few hours, which meant I would likely have to go with the girls to the party on my own. {gulp, panic}
Though the party was going on directly in the front of my house and the Pop Culture Girls had been on "bouncy house watch" since noon, I kept delaying going outside. Eventually, they stopped accepting my lame excuses, and we walked out the front door and into the lion's den. My kids playing in the bouncy house made a good excuse for me to avoid talking to people for a good hour. Of course, I made polite (I think) conversation with the other parents near the bouncy house, and I talked to C and her husband. But other than that, I focused my attention on my children, probably appearing way more Helicopter Parent than I actually am [for the record, I'm not… at all].
After noticing that many of the other adult partygoers were on their second (or more) beer or glass of wine, I decided it was socially acceptable for me to go into my house and retrieve a Cherry Limeade. For those of you who don't know, the "grownup" version of a Cherry Limemade involves cherry-flavored vodka. Half a red Solo cup later, I was feeling a little less freaked out by the whole idea of being at a party with no one I (really) knew.
Eventually I got comfortable enough to allow myself to get some crawfish and attempt to find a place to sit. And that's when I was all of the sudden transported to middle or high school all over again. "Um... Excuse me.... {squeak} Is anyone sitting here?" I found myself at a table with C and my next-door neighbor ("V"), in a seat in between a neighbor I've seen many times but to whom I've never spoken a word and V's Zumba buddy. The ladies all chatted for a bit, while I was totally silent, smiling, nodding, and laughing, until someone asked me about the Pop Culture Girls. Now there's a subject on which I can speak without feeling like an idiot or that I was butting in on someone else's private conversation. That opened the door for me to chat freely with the ladies about many topics, as though I hadn't been sitting there nearly paralyzed for the past 15 minutes. At some point, C said she was ready for another drink, but wasn't sure what she wanted. I mentioned I was thinking about making a refresher of my own and asked if anyone else wanted a drink. Once they all found out what I was drinking, I ended up taking four drink orders.
I bounded back into my house and came out less than five minutes later with a fresh, cold pitcher of Cherry Limeade and a stack of cups. After one sip, V turned to me and said, "Now I know why you never come out of your house! If I made drinks like this, I would never go outside either. I'd just be sitting on my couch all day having a private party!"
OMG... How embarrassing!!
(Not my typical Friday night, I swear)
There was no malice to the statement at all. It was a lighthearted, good-natured joke. But it was also a very real, kind of ugly truth that I live in a community of very social people, all approximately the same age as me, with kids very close in age to mine, and minus the five-minute conversation here and there, I talk to no one. I'm not new to the neighborhood; I've lived here almost 11 years. Heck, my house was the first one built in our cul-de-sac, and I was the first neighbor here. The neighbors all know Pop Culture Dad's name (though he has only lived here 7 years), but I would be surprised if anyone other than C, her husband, and their next-door neighbors (who weren't at the block party) knew mine, and not just because my name is hard to pronounce (for some people).
It isn't that my neighbors are awful or boring people or that I wouldn't have any common threads on which to have conversations. The few conversations I've had with them all have been really enjoyable. After the "no wonder you never leave the house" joke, we all continued to chat for a long time. And when Pop Culture Dad arrived, he couldn't even tell from my demeanor and the fun we were all having by that point that I had had, just hours before, extreme discomfort at the idea of being in a social situation with strangers and near-strangers. And it's not that I sit in my house drinking all day—no matter how good those Cherry Limemades are.
I'm an introvert—an extreme introvert. I can stand on a stage and sing, dance, or act to a crowd or stand in a courtroom and present my case to the judge or a jury; but go to a business function where there is networking involved or have to go to a party without my close friends or family? Oh gawd no!
People who've seen me in the former situations but don't know me well often have no idea I'm in introvert. That's because in those situations, I'm well-prepared and damn-near on fire [seriously, when I was a volunteer prosecutor in the municipal courts, one of the defense attorneys told me the reason my courtroom always had extra people is because word had gotten out about how good my voir dire and opening statements were, and the defense attorneys enjoyed watching me interact with the jury]. People who know me well would probably use "talkative" as one the first words to describe me. Once you have breached my protective layer, you are in my chatty circle forever. (Sorry)
But I would rather have a barium enema [for the record, worse than unmediated childbirth] than have to make small talk in a room of strangers for an hour.
Where can you find me at a party where I know zero people? Hanging out by the food table, stuffing my face and clutching my wine glass so tightly that it could shatter at any minute. My standard M.O. is to find another introvert (often easy to find, because s/he will be at the other end of the food table or standing near the bar or pretending to closely examine the artwork), come up with some dumb opener, and then cling to that person for dear life until s/he finds someone s/he actually knows and abandons me. At that point, I either scope out another introvert or, if I feel like I've "done my time" grab my purse and go (swiftly).
There are plenty of "how to regard an introvert" articles out there, but one thing I've never seen is how to explain to someone that you're an introvert without looking even odder than you have already. I wish when V made her joke about sitting around the house drinking all day, I would've felt comfortable enough to explain, "No. I'm not a recluse… or a snob… or an alcoholic. I'm just a gal who is very withdrawn around people I don't know, who has no idea how to start a conversation, and who is always terrified of sounding like an idiot and a complete weirdo when talking to people I don't know very well." But having the gumption to explain all that really wouldn't have been in my introverted nature, would it?
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Donald Sterling: Some Quick Perspective
(1) If someone ASKS to be recorded and is fully aware he is being recorded when he makes ignorant statements, it is neither an injustice nor "shady" to record said person.
(2) A private company taking action has NOTHING to do with your "First Amendment rights" or "civil liberties," even when that private company is your employer, who doesn't like something you said.
(3) The NBA is a FRANCHISE. Donald Sterling's ownership interest is nothing but a license, revocable by the licensor (the league) at any time, within the guidelines set forth in that license. A licensor is allowed to protect the reputation and monetary value of its brand as it sees fit.
(4) Sterling will be bought out. He stands to make a HUGE profit on the sale. Don't cry for him, Argentina.
(5) A "lifetime" ban imposed on an 81-year old man who is clearly not in the best physical condition isn't exactly 50 years here, people.
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(6) NO ONE (except maybe the NBA and NAACP) is arguing that it was fine and dandy for the NBA and NAACP to stand and watch this man's decades of racism and even honor and support him. But that doesn't negate the fact that it is a *good thing* that those organizations have FINALLY responded (even if those responses are probably more commercially driven than anything).
(7) I don't give two flips about the character and history of Donald Sterling's mistress. I don't think anyone ever assumes that a 30-something-year old woman with thousands of dollars of plastic surgery/enhancements who has changed her name to an initial and is dating a wealthy, racist, obese, married octogenarian is a highly moral and likable individual. She is a gold digger and has questionable ethics?? You don't say!! It still doesn't change the fact that this man is reprehensible and has been for a LONG time. He didn't have to be goaded or tricked into saying a darn thing.
(2) A private company taking action has NOTHING to do with your "First Amendment rights" or "civil liberties," even when that private company is your employer, who doesn't like something you said.
(3) The NBA is a FRANCHISE. Donald Sterling's ownership interest is nothing but a license, revocable by the licensor (the league) at any time, within the guidelines set forth in that license. A licensor is allowed to protect the reputation and monetary value of its brand as it sees fit.
(4) Sterling will be bought out. He stands to make a HUGE profit on the sale. Don't cry for him, Argentina.
(5) A "lifetime" ban imposed on an 81-year old man who is clearly not in the best physical condition isn't exactly 50 years here, people.
}(6) NO ONE (except maybe the NBA and NAACP) is arguing that it was fine and dandy for the NBA and NAACP to stand and watch this man's decades of racism and even honor and support him. But that doesn't negate the fact that it is a *good thing* that those organizations have FINALLY responded (even if those responses are probably more commercially driven than anything).
(7) I don't give two flips about the character and history of Donald Sterling's mistress. I don't think anyone ever assumes that a 30-something-year old woman with thousands of dollars of plastic surgery/enhancements who has changed her name to an initial and is dating a wealthy, racist, obese, married octogenarian is a highly moral and likable individual. She is a gold digger and has questionable ethics?? You don't say!! It still doesn't change the fact that this man is reprehensible and has been for a LONG time. He didn't have to be goaded or tricked into saying a darn thing.
The Worst Part of the HIMYM Finale
Yes, I'm still mad about the How I Met Your Mother series finale a week later. I spent nine years investing in this show. It's going to take me more than a day to get over the disappointment. It would be like if Pop Culture Dad (who, BTW, I've been with less years than I was Ted, Marshall, Lily, Barney, and even Robin) came home tomorrow and dumped me in an ugly and unceremonious way. Okay... It's not actually that dramatic. But the finale did. really. suck. y'all!
But you know what's the worst part of that horrible finale? We HIMYM die-hard fans have been defending our loyalty to this show for the last couple of years, and these bastards (Thomas, Bays, and the rest of the HIMYM writers) just punched us in the gut and left us lying in the dirt. It's been hard being a HIMYM fan, and now it was all for nothing.
Pop Culture Dad and I actually met towards the end of the first season of HIMYM. I was a fan. He was not. I quickly caught him up to speed and got him in the HIMYM fan club also. Our relationship grew and blossomed with these characters for five years. And then he dropped out. PCD just couldn't do it anymore. The writing wasn't as good as it had been in the earlier seasons. Ted was becoming increasingly more annoying (particularly his on-again, off-again obsessions with Robin). PCD got tired of them not just jumping to how Ted met the mother and getting over it already. Pop Culture Dad would occasionally watch an episode with me here and there, but many times, he would spend the episodes peppering scenes with an interjection of, "This is so stupid!", "Has this show been cancelled yet?", "I swear the only thing good about this show is Marshall and Lily!", "I swear... Ted is the WORST father ever! Why would you tell your kids this story??", and "WHY ARE YOU STILL WATCHING THIS SHOW??". There were a few episodes that proved the exception to Pop Culture Dad's I-Only-Watch-This-Show-When-You-Make-Me rule in the latter seasons: the Robin Sparkles episodes, the Slap Bet, and Barney's proposal to Robin. Pop Culture Dad isn't the only one who expressed these feelings; many people--all former fans--said similar things when they realized I was still watching HIMYM. Only a few of my friends loyally stuck around as I did. We were all disappointed with the ending.
So now what? We stuck around for nine years--the last few of them spotty and challenging--and we got nothing for the effort. All of the justifications we had made for this show have melted away. All of the naysayers have completely valid reasons for saying, "We told you so," and they were right (dammit!). I never thought I would be that chick who stayed in a bad relationship for years and years after all of my friends and family members kept telling me, "He's no good for you!" and I never listened, because I was clinging to the memories of happier days. But there you have it. I was. And I'm pissed that Bays and Thomas made that kind of fool of me!!
Sigh... But the relationship is over. It's dead (much like Tracy McConnell, RIP. Girl, R. I. P...). It's time to move on.
But first, maybe I need some more closure.
Despite our differences in the end, there are some things that I will always appreciate about How I Met Your Mother.
1. I love that in a post-Buffy, post-Angel, post-Veronica Mars world, I got nine more years of Alyson Hannigan gracing my screen [and, from time to time, even got a glimpse of her lovely husband. Oh Sandy Rivers/Wesley Wyndham-Pryce, how I adore you, too!]. But, let's face it. Even without HIMYM, Willow wasn't going to be absent from the small screen for too long, because Alyson Hannigan is a National. Fucking. Treasure, goddammit!
3. Jason Muthafucking Segel.
Look, I know he was doing shit before HIMYM. But I never watched Freaks and Geeks or Undeclared until after HIMYM and every Jason Segel role in a movie since then threw me in the Jason Segel fan club. Seriously, the man can do no wrong... Er, scratch that. I watched This Is the End. And that shit was horrible. But Knocked Up; Forgetting Sarah Marshall; I Love You, Man; Despicable Me; Bad Teacher; Friends with Benefits; The Muppets; Five-Year Engagement; This is 40... OMG. He was golden in ALL of it. Every last drop!
In addition to the fact that I am such a huge Marshmallow/Lily Pad fan (and they're only part of the entire series Pop Culture Dad still liked), I love, love, love that fictitious Marshall and I [and my #4] have the same alma mater, even though we would not have graced the halls at the same time [yes, people, I realize that this is fake!! After all, we're talking about a universe in which New York City has all of four minorities. Dahell...].
4. Brad Morris.
Hey, True Blood only airs during the summertime. So any time I can have an extra bit of Joe Manganiello on my television in various states of undress is a good thing.
5. Robin Sparkles. I would go to the mall with her today and any other day.
So... One would think with all these fond memories, the season finale wouldn't have stung so much. But one would be WRONG. Oh so very wrong.
These fond memories are exactly why the series finale felt like one huge, never-ending Slap Bet to the face. There was so much good about this show before it started sucking. And I could have even let the sucky parts go if the season finale had been worthy of even the mediocre parts of this show. But it was sooo very bad. It felt slapped together and rushed. We spent an entire goddamn season on Robin and Barney's wedding, only for the HIMYM writers to slap together 16 years of twists and turns into 44 minutes. It was so poorly done, you would think they were making it up as they were going along. It was a complete disservice to how they've built these characters over the years and how they've grown. Ted going back to Robin makes NO sense to anyone who believes in having healthy, adult relationships [OMG, they were SO toxic together. At least it was true to previous seasons in that Robin wanted Ted only when someone else had him and that Ted was completely Robin's puppy dog for some inexplicable reason. But did these people seriously not grow at all over two and a half decades of knowing each other??]. While I'm less broken up about The Mother (aka Tracy) being dead, since we all pretty much expected that even before the hints thrown out this season, the way her death was treated was so shoddy that I almost feel like they could have forgotten to write in the part where Ted meets her, and the net result might have been the same. Barney spent all these years growing as a man, only to turn back into a major douchebag (in his 40s, no less) the second that callous bitch Robin dumps him, only to then magically reform again the second he has a daughter [P.S. I am willing to bet money right now that the "Dad" in the new "How I Met Your Dad" ends up being Barney. But I refuse to watch another Thomas/Bays production, so one of you will have to let me know in a few years if that prediction was true]. You all already know how I feel about the children's reactions. And we never found out the meaning behind that fucking pineapple.
In co-creator Craig Thomas's infamousfuck you tweet to fans of the show, he says:
But you know what's the worst part of that horrible finale? We HIMYM die-hard fans have been defending our loyalty to this show for the last couple of years, and these bastards (Thomas, Bays, and the rest of the HIMYM writers) just punched us in the gut and left us lying in the dirt. It's been hard being a HIMYM fan, and now it was all for nothing.
Pop Culture Dad and I actually met towards the end of the first season of HIMYM. I was a fan. He was not. I quickly caught him up to speed and got him in the HIMYM fan club also. Our relationship grew and blossomed with these characters for five years. And then he dropped out. PCD just couldn't do it anymore. The writing wasn't as good as it had been in the earlier seasons. Ted was becoming increasingly more annoying (particularly his on-again, off-again obsessions with Robin). PCD got tired of them not just jumping to how Ted met the mother and getting over it already. Pop Culture Dad would occasionally watch an episode with me here and there, but many times, he would spend the episodes peppering scenes with an interjection of, "This is so stupid!", "Has this show been cancelled yet?", "I swear the only thing good about this show is Marshall and Lily!", "I swear... Ted is the WORST father ever! Why would you tell your kids this story??", and "WHY ARE YOU STILL WATCHING THIS SHOW??". There were a few episodes that proved the exception to Pop Culture Dad's I-Only-Watch-This-Show-When-You-Make-Me rule in the latter seasons: the Robin Sparkles episodes, the Slap Bet, and Barney's proposal to Robin. Pop Culture Dad isn't the only one who expressed these feelings; many people--all former fans--said similar things when they realized I was still watching HIMYM. Only a few of my friends loyally stuck around as I did. We were all disappointed with the ending.
So now what? We stuck around for nine years--the last few of them spotty and challenging--and we got nothing for the effort. All of the justifications we had made for this show have melted away. All of the naysayers have completely valid reasons for saying, "We told you so," and they were right (dammit!). I never thought I would be that chick who stayed in a bad relationship for years and years after all of my friends and family members kept telling me, "He's no good for you!" and I never listened, because I was clinging to the memories of happier days. But there you have it. I was. And I'm pissed that Bays and Thomas made that kind of fool of me!!
Sigh... But the relationship is over. It's dead (much like Tracy McConnell, RIP. Girl, R. I. P...). It's time to move on.
But first, maybe I need some more closure.
Despite our differences in the end, there are some things that I will always appreciate about How I Met Your Mother.
1. I love that in a post-Buffy, post-Angel, post-Veronica Mars world, I got nine more years of Alyson Hannigan gracing my screen [and, from time to time, even got a glimpse of her lovely husband. Oh Sandy Rivers/Wesley Wyndham-Pryce, how I adore you, too!]. But, let's face it. Even without HIMYM, Willow wasn't going to be absent from the small screen for too long, because Alyson Hannigan is a National. Fucking. Treasure, goddammit!
 |
| Aly, I know we're almost the same age and all, but you can totally be my mom, too! |
2. While I can't credit HIMYM for Neil Patrick Harris's big comeback (that honor goes to Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle), I can thank the show for keeping that momentum going, reminding me how much I loved Doogie Howser, M.D., and making magic cool again.
 |
| I know, hon. I feel the same way about Thomas & Bays! |
 |
| Though, if I'm being totally honest, this is how I prefer to picture NPH. And this has NOTHING to do with HIMYM. |
Look, I know he was doing shit before HIMYM. But I never watched Freaks and Geeks or Undeclared until after HIMYM and every Jason Segel role in a movie since then threw me in the Jason Segel fan club. Seriously, the man can do no wrong... Er, scratch that. I watched This Is the End. And that shit was horrible. But Knocked Up; Forgetting Sarah Marshall; I Love You, Man; Despicable Me; Bad Teacher; Friends with Benefits; The Muppets; Five-Year Engagement; This is 40... OMG. He was golden in ALL of it. Every last drop!
In addition to the fact that I am such a huge Marshmallow/Lily Pad fan (and they're only part of the entire series Pop Culture Dad still liked), I love, love, love that fictitious Marshall and I [and my #4] have the same alma mater, even though we would not have graced the halls at the same time [yes, people, I realize that this is fake!! After all, we're talking about a universe in which New York City has all of four minorities. Dahell...].
4. Brad Morris.
Hey, True Blood only airs during the summertime. So any time I can have an extra bit of Joe Manganiello on my television in various states of undress is a good thing.
5. Robin Sparkles. I would go to the mall with her today and any other day.
So... One would think with all these fond memories, the season finale wouldn't have stung so much. But one would be WRONG. Oh so very wrong.
These fond memories are exactly why the series finale felt like one huge, never-ending Slap Bet to the face. There was so much good about this show before it started sucking. And I could have even let the sucky parts go if the season finale had been worthy of even the mediocre parts of this show. But it was sooo very bad. It felt slapped together and rushed. We spent an entire goddamn season on Robin and Barney's wedding, only for the HIMYM writers to slap together 16 years of twists and turns into 44 minutes. It was so poorly done, you would think they were making it up as they were going along. It was a complete disservice to how they've built these characters over the years and how they've grown. Ted going back to Robin makes NO sense to anyone who believes in having healthy, adult relationships [OMG, they were SO toxic together. At least it was true to previous seasons in that Robin wanted Ted only when someone else had him and that Ted was completely Robin's puppy dog for some inexplicable reason. But did these people seriously not grow at all over two and a half decades of knowing each other??]. While I'm less broken up about The Mother (aka Tracy) being dead, since we all pretty much expected that even before the hints thrown out this season, the way her death was treated was so shoddy that I almost feel like they could have forgotten to write in the part where Ted meets her, and the net result might have been the same. Barney spent all these years growing as a man, only to turn back into a major douchebag (in his 40s, no less) the second that callous bitch Robin dumps him, only to then magically reform again the second he has a daughter [P.S. I am willing to bet money right now that the "Dad" in the new "How I Met Your Dad" ends up being Barney. But I refuse to watch another Thomas/Bays production, so one of you will have to let me know in a few years if that prediction was true]. You all already know how I feel about the children's reactions. And we never found out the meaning behind that fucking pineapple.
In co-creator Craig Thomas's infamous
We did a finale about life's twists and turns and that is not always what happens...but THANKS!
— Craig Thomas (@HimymCraig) April 1, 2014
Of course, the irony here is that in a finale allegedly about life's twist and turns, it never occurred to the HIMYM writers that when your show goes on longer than anyone ever planned, the characters have developed in different ways from what you originally plotted, and the fans have fallen in love with different expectations (by your design, no less), maybe instead of rolling with an ending you taped nine years prior, you need to roll with the "twists and turns" and give your show an ending that makes sense in light of everything else that has happened over the last decade!
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