HIMYM Series Finale - A Warning to Pop Culture Dad
OBLIGATORY SPOILER ALERT: This post contains spoilers. If you haven't watched the show yet (and for some reason still want to) and have somehow successfully managed to avoid all the spoilers on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+ just to end up here, you can't say I didn't warn you. But why are you clicking on articles about the season finale of a show you haven't watched yet??
It's only the woman who gave you life. Who cares about hearing about her?
So as you have seen or read by now, HIMYM ended up being not so much How I Met Your Mother and more How I'm Pretending to Tell You a Story a About How I Met Your Mother So I Can Really Make a Case for Banging Aunt Robin... Again.
Setting aside the utter bullshit of sticking with an ending the writers planned from season 1, even though it no longer fit the character development or what most of the audience (by every poll about this show in the last five years) wanted [a side effect of a show lasting two or three years longer than it should have], and putting fans through all the anticipation for nothing, here's my warning to a Pop Culture Dad:
If I die in the next couple of years, while our kids are still very young, and six years later (while they are still kids, mind you), you spend a shitton of time telling them some convuluted story under the pretext of telling them how we met, but it turns out it is really a story of how you were really in love with your ex-girlfriend/a friend of yours, I will f*cking haunt you until the end of time. Every breath you take, every move you make, I'll be watching—and, more importantly, haunting— you. And her.
Bullshit. Utter bullshit.
Oh, and ignoring the fact that a Robin is probably one of the worst options for Ted of all of his ex-girlfriends if he just had to revert back to an old obsession, do Bays and Thomas really expect me to believe that even after six years the kids (emphasis on "kids") are totally okay with their dad dating their Aunt Robin?? REALLY?!?!
Although I haven't lost a parent myself, I have known people who lost a parent early (and widowers who lost a spouse when their kids were young). Losing a parent seems to suspend that part of your childhood—you're almost perpetually (particularly during your actual childhood) locked in that state. While as adults, most people don't seem to have a problem with their parents jumping back out there, most kids don't seem to be okay with their parents jumping back out there while they're still young. And it seems to be worse when the widow(er) was actually parading their intended around their kids the whole time. Then it's more like, "So even when mom was alive/dying, you were in love with HER and BRINGING HER TO OUR HOUSE??" Yeah, I'm not buying that whole, "OMG! Yeah! Go for it! Duh!"
[side bar: Is it just me, or do Bays & Thomas seem to have an unhealthy obsession with a wife dying so a guy can date who he really wants?? Marshall's fantasy life, anyone??]
Pop Culture Girls, I won't blame you if your dad pulls this crap on you if I die early. It isn't your fault. You were young and traumatized, and he wore you down with a nine-year long story about nothing. For the record, though: Match.com. You don't need to sit through some crap story. We met on Match.com. Don't fall for this "How I Met Your Mother" crap. Now you know.
GIVEWAY ALERT! The Veronica Mars Movie is HERE
OMG, OMG, OMG, y'all! The Veronica Mars movie is here!
I'll be the first to admit, despite having friends who swore by the show, I was late to the Veronica Mars game. In fact, I watched it for the first time EVER last month. Actually, "binge watched" is a more accurate description. I watched all three seasons over the course of three weeks. At some point during my Season 2 viewing, Pop Culture Dad said to me, "You're an addict." It's sooooo true!
I started watching it out of sheer curiosity, since Amazon Prime finally started offering all three seasons for free. My curiosity paid off in spades, particularly after I found out that the much-anticipated Veronica Mars movie was coming out March 14th. Goddess bless you, Princess Anna... er... Kristen Bell and all those VM fans on Kickstarter for making this happen!
Anywhoo... To get everyone primed and ready for the movie release [like we weren't already], Warner Bros. has released a Veronica Mars Marshmallow Super-Fan Purity Test [c'mon... Click it!]:
Veronica Mars: Purity Test Marshmallow Super-fan Trivia - Think you know all there is to know about Neptune, California? Test your Veronica Mars knowledge with all 3 levels of super-fan trivia and find out if you are the ultimate Marshmallow
Additionally, the DVD, which is scheduled to come out some time in May, is already available for pre-order. AND.... *drumroll*...
Additionally, the DVD, which is scheduled to come out some time in May, is already available for pre-order. AND.... *drumroll*...
ONE OF YOU LUCKY MARSHMALLOWS CAN WIN IT FOR FREE!
You heard me. Warner Bros. Is going to provide one luckily Pop Culture Mom Blog winner with a free copy of the Veronica Mars Movie DVD when it is released.
Here's how to enter:
Mandatory: Like the Pop Culture Mom Facebook page.
Optional:
(1) Take all three levels of the Purity Test and leave a comment below with your scores
(2) Tweet to me @popculturemom and tell me if you're #TeamDuncan, #TeamLogan, or #TeamPiz. Add the hashtag #VeronicaMarsMovie. If you have enough characters, go ahead and say why [FTR, I'm #TeamLogan, but I won't hold it against you if you aren't]
(3) Leave a comment on the Pop Culture Mom Facebook page letting me know your favorite episode or scene.
You have to be logged into Rafflecopter (below) for the entries to count:
DISCLOSURES:
Contest begins at midnight on March 14, 2014. Entrants must reside in the United States or Canada. Each household is only eligible to win One (1) Veronica Mars DVD via blog reviews and giveaways. Only one entrant per mailing address per giveaway. If you have won the same prize on another blog, you will not be eligible to win it again. Winner is subject to eligibility verification. The prize can only be shipped to physical addresses; no P.O. Boxes please.
Entries may be received until 11:59 p.m. CDT on March 26, 2014. Winner will be notified within 24 hours. If no valid address is provided within 48 hours of notification, the prize will forfeited, and a new winner will be selected and notified.
About the Veronica Mars Movie
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On the eve of graduating law school, Veronica Mars has put Neptune and her amateur sleuthing days behind her. While interviewing at high-end New York law firms, Veronica Mars gets a call from her ex-boyfriend Logan who has been accused of murder. Veronica heads back to Neptune just to help Logan find an attorney, but when things don't seem right with how Logan's case is perceived and handled, Veronica finds herself being pulled back into a life she thought she had left behind.
See it In Theaters MARCH 14
Pre-order on DIGITAL HD
http://theveronicamarsmovie.com
@veronicamars
ABOUT HOW THE FILM GOT MADE:
Following a record-breaking Kickstarter campaign that ended on April 12, 2013, Veronica Mars was shot over 23 days during June-July 2013. It will be released in selected theaters nationwide on March 14th, 2014.
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All promotional materials and the prize are supplied by Warner Bros.
Some Relationship Advice for Selena Gomez
Photo by Michelle Watson/Catchlight Group
Can I call you that? Miss Gomez is probably more formal since we don't know each other. But since I'm old enough to have been your babysitter [or, if I had made more mistakes in high school, your mother] and we aren't doing business together, "Miss Gomez" just seems weird. But I digress...
Sunday, my husband and I took the Pop Culture Girls to your concert at the Houston Rodeo. Now, of course, this concert was sprinkled with rumors since it was only your second concert after *ahem* treatment and the first concert after the paparazzi caught Justin Bieber following you to Hildago and McAllen of all freaking places. We have enough spoiled, entitled brats in this great state. We don't need to start importing them from Canada, too! But, again, I digress...
So there we are, having a great time. We're doing the "dancing" and "singing" you promised us at the beginning of the concert. My two-year old was shaking her groove thang to "Birthday," and then you went dark, girl.
"There’s a lot of speculation and a lot of things being said. No one is perfect. And everyone learns from their mistakes. And everyone makes mistakes.... And I would not be on this stage if it weren’t for people like you to remind me that everyone is human. I hope I can inspire people like you to do whatever you want to do with your life.”
And you were crying. Look, I get that it's a very trying time for you. In fact, I really hope that "mistake" you were talking about is related to you going to rehab (for whatever it is that ails you). Because if that "mistake" is this horrible on-again-off-again boyfriend of yours, allow me to offer some advice from my family's current favorite movie: Let It Go. And by "it," I, of course, mean the relationship (and that jerk).
You're young. You're beautiful. You're rich. You're famous. And you're slightly damaged. Girl, we all are. At least, I understand that now. I might not have understood it so well at 21. I'm sure your mom, grandmothers, and tias are already talking to you about this awful boy, and you feel like you don't need anymore lectures; but the fact that you started keeping company with this boy—this criminal who is consistently abusing drugs and alcohol–so fresh off your recovery is a sign that you need more old ladies talking to you. I don't know for what you underwent treatment, and it really doesn't matter. Whether it's an eating disorder, depression, or drug/alcohol abuse, being around this asshole who sends you ugly, harassing text messages, who doesn't know how to take "leave me alone and stop sending me pictures of your penis. Go to rehab" [paraphrasing] for an answer, who spraypaints and eggs historical buildings, who sleeps with hookers, who does drugs and alcohol and then gets behind the wheel of a car, who falls asleep in depositions about his abusive behavior… being around this spoiled douche is not good for your recovery.
I know your early 20s are your time to do stupid things and make dumb mistakes that you'll look back on when you're old like me and just laugh. But you've already made that mistake. It's time for a new one. Get an ill-thought out tattoo, dye your hair a really unflattering color, sleep with a complete stranger who turns out to be all kinds of the wrong dude. But please don't fool yourself into thinking you can make that little dweeb good boyfriend (or, goodness forbid, husband) material.
Girl, you interrupted your dance party to start crying. Love doesn't do that. Real love doesn't make you miserable and defensive.
In short: leave this fool, make some different mistakes, and then grow out of it. You'll be glad you did.
Love,
Pop Culture Mom, just some old lady who doesn't want you to cry anymore
Go Texan Day Resolutions Met!
Those of you not from Texas (more specifically, Houston) probably have no idea what a “Go Texan Day” is. Basically, the Friday before the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo (and related opening day parade) begins, Houstonians are encouraged to "Go Texan" by donning western gear. For many Houstonians, this simply translates to "jeans day" or maybe "jeans and cute boots" day.
(For clarification: I did not make the shirts under the vest)
The Pop Culture Girls' school asks that parents make stick horses (instructions provided for those who need it) and that the kids dress up in western gear. They also celebrate Go Texan Day a full week before the actual day, for reasons that have never actually been explained to the parents. Last Friday was the girls' Week-Before-the-Real-Thing Go Texan Day.
Last year, in preparation for WBTRT GTD, I sat on the floor of my living room for several hours hand-sewing stick horses. The horses were cute, no doubt, but my already bad back was killing me from hunching over for so long (my chiropractor was not happy about that), and my hands were cramped. I kept saying over and over that if I knew how to use a sewing machine, that process would have gone a lot faster.
I've always known how to sew by hand (to some extent, anyway), but have always sucked at using a sewing machine. I always outsourced my sewing to my mom, who is pretty fabulous with a machine. She spent several years trying to teach me, but I usually just ended up breaking a needle or the machine or something. Funny, I could cross-stitch, latch hook, and hand-sew, but using a sewing machine? Forget it.
So last year, fresh off my pain of all-day sewing to make two stick horses, I vowed I would learn to sew before Go Texan Day 2014.
I told Pop Culture Dad that all I wanted for Mothers Day, my birthday (in June), and Christmas was a Hello Kitty sewing machine and sewing lessons. He complied. I had sewing lessons every Saturday in June (including one on my actual birthday). I kept going with and and kept practicing. I've definitely been getting better at it, and (so far) I haven't broken my machine!
This year, in addition to the stick horses, I decided to tackle making western outfits for the girls. I was pretty successful with them, too, don'tcha think?
How Complete Strangers Reacted When My Toddler Acted out in Public (You
Might be Surprised!)
This afternoon, Super Girl had an epic tantrum in the checkout line at the craft store. I got to the register and let the checkout girl know I had to put something back while she was ringing up. I then returned every craft SG had picked out. While she kept screaming over and over, "I want it!" with tears running down her face, I explained to her (over and over, it seemed) that the deal was she would get treats if she was good in the store. Throwing a temper tantrum is exactly one of the behaviors I told my girls would forfeit their goodies.
Just when I was starting to feel like a failure, standing there at the cash register with this two-year old screaming at the top of the lungs, three women came up to me and told me "Good job!" for sticking to my guns and not rewarding bad behavior. Instantly, I felt better.
It's easy to feel like a meanie or a bad mom when your kid melts down in public. The things is, though, eventually every kid will melt down [first person to tell me her kid has never melted down gets punched in the face]. And, though I might feel mean in the minute, rewarding my (then-)behaved child with crafts while the other looks on on jealousy, I just have to keep reminding myself that my "meanness" is toward a greater good—raising a child/tween/teen/adult who is not an ungrateful, spoiled asshole.
I am so thankful for those ladies today who gave me reinforcement and reminded me that I was doing the right thing. And it also served as a good reminder to me that the next time I see a mom struggling but doing the right thing, to pay it forward by patting her on the back—whether I do that literally (as the first "Good job, Mom!" woman did to me today) or verbally. Because sometimes all you need is validation.
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