How is it that I watch the Real Housewives of New Jersey for mindless relaxation, but instead I just end up stressed out about how mindless these people are?

Tonight I watched the most recent episode, "Whine Country." Whine indeed.

The Manzos/Lauritas and Guidices/Gorgas/Wakiles¹ are on vacation in Napa. This episode is like episode 5,000 of this trip, and I have been increasingly bored and infuriated by these people this season, so I only halfway know what the heck is going on at the beginning of this episode. Next thing you know, everyone is boarding a tour bus with Albie, Albert, Caroline and Chris are looking scared as hell. Chris is warning everyone to be on their best behavior. Yeah, good luck with this crowd.

We then find out from Caroline's voiceover that the gang is on their way to a business meeting:

Initially, it was supposed to be Albert, Chris, Albie. And then I guess Christopher felt kind of bad and was like, 'Mom, you wanna come?'. And I felt kinda bad. 'I'll ask your sister.' 'Well, Vito would like to see it.' And then, like, before you know it, we're all going to the vineyard—which is fine… Maybe.

No, Caroline, no it's not! And I can tell from the look on your, your husband's, your sons' and your brother's faces on the bus that you all know this isn't fine.

First off, at least two of the people in your group are, on their best days embarrassing and on their worst, certifiably crazy. I'm looking at you Teresa and Joe Guidice. Second, much of your group spends a lot of time—and I mean a lot—at each other's throats (okay, this is really an offshoot of the first point, since the Guidices are usually the source of the problem where fights at concerned). Third, and more importantly, this is a business trip. You know who doesnt belong on a business trip? People who have no business and (most importantly) have no respect for the people that do.

So as you can probably guess, the extraneous non-business-having people on the trip acted like asses and embarrassed the guys who were supposed to be conducting business [and Caroline; but let's face it, that bitch Teresa is "eating crackers" with her right now, anyway]. Teresa is in her voiceover totally confused [isn't she always, though?] as to why people were mad, when she thought they were there to have fun. The woman at the winery with whom the Manzos/Lauritas are conducting business is being awfully good-natured about everything, even though she is probably seething inside [i am sure you would put up with a lot of tomfoolery, too, if you knew your small winery was getting free publicity every time someone on this insipid show mentioned your winery's name. Though, I'm not so sure how excited about the publicity she remained after this episode aired and she got to witness Teresa and Joe Guidice having a quickie in her vines. Yes. Seriously.

Honestly, though, I can't blame the interlopers, not even the Guidices. They never should have been invited in the first place. One very important rule of business is that everything you do in reference to your client reflects on you, that includes who you involve in your business affairs. If you bring along tagalongs, their behavior is a reflection of your judgment. It shows very poor judgment to bring along a band of idiots. The extras should have been left back at the resort, or at the very least, Chris/Albert/Albie should have set up a separate (non-business) tour for the others at the winery while they finished their business transaction.

I am not sure if the guys got this wine distribution contract they were hoping to get on this trip. Honestly, I don't really care. I do know, however, that if I were ever conducting business with someone and he/she/they brought along 10 imbeciles with him/her/them to our first meeting, I would look for a different partner for my business ventures



<sup>1. If you are fortunate enough to never have seen this show, allow me to "briefly" explain how these people are connected. Caroline Manzo (née Laurita) is the older sister of Chris Laurita, who is married to Jacqueline. Caroline's sons, Albert IV (Albie) and Christopher are currently in business with their uncle Chris (Jacqueline's husband), who sometimes does business with their dad (Albert III). Caroline and Jacqueline are on-and-off friends with the absolutely insufferable Theresa Guidice (née Gorga) (who changes the way her last name is pronounced every time she makes a television appearance, so please don't ask me how to pronounce it). Teresa, who is married to Joe, also has a brother named Joe. Brother Joe is married to Melissa. Joe (Gorga) and Teresa are cousins with Kathy Wakile.

Teresa is in the middle of a fight with Caroline, because she made fun of Caroline in her cookbook, among other things. Teresa was fighting with Jacqueline, because (long story short) Teresa is a terrible friend. They recently made up, because Jacqueline is a pushover. Teresa and Melissa were fighting, because Teresa is obviously jealous of Melissa, as her husband is of her brother. They recently made up, because they're family, and Melissa and Joe (brother Joe, not husband Joe) wanted to be adults for the sake of their kids. I honestly couldn't tell at the beginning of the episode if Teresa and Kathy were fighting, because they are always going back and forth between fighting and and wanting to act like family. Just know that when they are fighting, it is always some inconsiderate thing that Teresa has done that she (as always) turns around and tries to use to argue that she is the victim.

See a pattern here?

On this trip are Caroline, Albert (husband), Lauren (daughter), Albie and Christopher Manzo, Lauren's boyfriend, and Christopher and Albie's roommate, Greg; Jacqueline and Chris Laurita; Teresa and Joe Guidice; Melissa and Joe Gorga; and Kathy and Richie Wakile. Clear as mud, right?↩</sup>

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Price: FREE for basic




Cozi is a very simple digital solution to a common household problem: every member of the family has different appointments and obligations, you need groceries, there is a big list of punch items to be done, meals need to be planned, some new recipes would be nice, and oh yeah, you're tired of sending Outlook reminders to everyone. Enter Cozi.

Cozi is a one-stop shop for all of these items. The family gets one login name and one password [take note of this, as Pop Culture Dad forgot this fact when he changed the family password last week. Fortunately, Cozi sends an email to all family members when this happens]. You can access Cozi online at Cozi.com or you can download the app (for iPhone/iPad and Android).

Here is how the opening screen looks on my app:


This is the home screen online:


The calendar allows you to select which family member(s) are attending which appointments. Additionally, each family member is assigned a color (which you can change), which makes it easy to tell which appointments are whose at a glance. Every family member who logs in will see all appointments, but reminders are only sent to those attending. Every registered family member receives a weekly summary of the appointments once a week.


One added perk is that you can download an app for Microsoft Outlook that allows Cozi to sync with Outlook either manually or on a schedule. I have this on Outlook at work, so that I don't have to worry about copy/pasting my work events into Cozi. Less work, ya know?


The to-do list is pretty easy to master. It is easily edited and even allows you to make header categories for different groups of tasks.



The grocery list allows any family member to add and check off items needed and no longer needed.



The meal plan organizer is pretty self-explanatory:


BONUS: Recipes. Cozi not only contains a section to list your meal plan for the weeks ahead, but also provides recipes.



If the Cozi recipes don't tickle your fancy, you can add your own recipes manually or even upload them from the internet. This may be a good way to try out all of those recipes you keep pinning on Pinterest. Oh yeah, Cozi also lets you add the ingredients from the recipe to the grocery list.

All of this comes in the basic version, which is free. You just have to put up with ads and deal with having only one alarm on your reminders. For an ad-free experience with three alarms (plus a few other features), you will need to upgrade to Cozi Gold. Cozi Gold is $4.99 a month or $49.99 for a year. I've been using the Basic subscription for a couple of months now, and it is just fine for our purposes.

Before Cozi, Pop Culture Dad and I had been sending each other Outlook reminders (sometimes we still do) and texting each other at the grocery store. This is a more interactive way of doing things. It also makes it more clear when I'm making appointments that were previously just for FYI, that I really don't expect anyone else to attend.


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No matter how old I get, I will never understand why the same people who applaud you when pregnant for your decision to nurse ("That's great! It is what is best for the baby after all!") always seem surprised, perplexed, and sometimes a little disturbed when you are nursing past the six-month mark. I am, of course, referring to relatives, childless friends, and other mommy friends who either never nursed or never did it very long ("very long" being a few months). This clearly does not apply to online mommy friends, because, as anyone who has spent any time on mommy message boards knows, the vibe there is generally pro-boobs. The real world needs to get on par with the cyber world.

I am tired of sounding like a broken record:
–"Actually, the World Health Organization and the American Academy of Pediatrics both recommend breastfeeding for a bare minimum of six months and even for two years or more."
–"Well, I nursed my oldest daughter until she was 22 months old, so, you see, no, I don't think nine months is too long."
– "Yes, she has teeth. She has had teeth since she was four months old. A baby having teeth is a stupid weaning standard."
–"What do you mean, you should stop nursing when a baby can ask for it? She learned to pull at my shirt when she was a couple of weeks old. Isn't that technically asking? My oldest could sign for milk at four months. If I had a child who was deaf/mute, then you would be okay if I nursed him/her until she was 30, since s/he could never talk and ask for milk? Oh. No? So just a double standard then for what you consider 'asking'?"

Can we talk about the teeth thing for a minute?

Why am I constantly running into moms who practically brag to me about how they stopped nursing as soon as their baby cut a tooth? Do they think I'm sitting there nodding in understanding as I nurse my little piranha-in-training? Every single time someone tells me this, it is a woman whose baby has barely a tooth poking through. Pop Culture Baby has seven (vey sharp and strong) teeth, and we are still nursing. Clearly, I am the wrong audience for empathy. Yes, getting bit sucks. But the presence of teeth is not the standard for weaning. You will not find a single medical journal that says this. Many babies have teeth as early as four months. A few babies are even born with teeth. You can always teach a breastfeeding child not to bite, and once they get used to those new teeth, they generally don't bite anyway [except those circumstances where your baby thinks s/he is being funny and bites you on purpose... But I digress]. Even ignoring all that, if someone wants to justify to herself that weaning was appropriate because her child has teeth, then that's her business; but for the love of Pete, women!! Please stop bragging to me about it! I don't feel the bonds of sisterhood or empathy/sympathy over these revelations. I just feel sad. Please save these conversations for a different audience—perhaps that lady over there in a corner nodding and mouthing "Me too."

Also, when did formula become the norm? No, really. I get that using formula in the 1970s was that decade's equivalent of the '60s bra burning. Women had the freedom to work and weren't "chained" to their babies all day. But formula has never been and never will be breast milk. And times have a'changed. Breast pumps are readily accessible and affordable these days, and that is a huge part of why breastfeeding has made a resurgence of sorts. But most importantly, the science just keeps coming out in favor of breastfeeding. Formula, no matter what they add to it, will never compete. Ever. I totally get circumstances in which the health risks to mother outweigh the benefits of breastmilk to babies [lactivist though I am, I would much rather a bipolar or schizophrenic mom be on her meds; same for mothers with certain bone, heart or neurological diseases]. I also understand that some women don't produce enough milk or any at all [though it appears that number is certainly much smaller than the number of women who claim they can't—some of whom give up at the colostrum stage or without trying things to boost their milk like eating oatmeal, taking supplements, drinking a lot of water, pumping more often, etc.]. And while the AAP argues:

Breastfeeding and human milk are the normative standards for infant feeding and nutrition. Given the documented short- and long-term medical and neurodevelopmental advantages of breastfeeding, infant nutrition should be considered a public health issue and not only a lifestyle choice.

(emphasis added), I will grant you that for many people, the decision to use formula is a lifestyle choice. Whatever.

The bottom line is, I am doing what is healthy and recommended. Breastfeeding my now-10 month old child is not an unusual thing, nor should it be. This is the default. The medical community backs me up. If I am able to breastfeeding into the next year, you are darn tooting' that I will. By asking me, "OMG, are you still nursing??" with that inflection in your voice and look of disapproval, you are not shaming me. You are only making yourself look and sound foolish.

/rant




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It is no secret how much I love the Total Baby app for the iPod, iPhone, and iPad. It has, however, changed a lot since I wrote my last review. there have been some significant updates. Also, I now have a iPad (thanks again, Pop Culture Dad!) and am able to witness the pretty cool iPad interface. Like a typical lawyer, I have to point out that this "review" is merely an update of new features, and not meant as a stand-alone review of the app. For a more full update, this post should be read along with the original review.

New Feature: Breast Milk Storage
The Total Baby app now includes timers for pumping and keeps a log of your breast milk. Based on how it is stored, the app even tells you when the milk expires. Honestly, I haven't been totally diligent in the use of this feature, but when I have used it, it is glorious.



New Feature: Timeline and Summary Charts
If you are more of a visual person than a textual one, this new timeline/chart summary (I'm not sure what to call it) should be right up your alley. Here is how it looks on the iPad version:






New Feature: Facebook Share
Just typed up a huge diary or milestone entry and want to share it with all your Facebook friends? No worries, just click on the Facebook share button, and you can annoyimpress all your Facebook buddies with your little one's newest and greatest accomplishments, without any need to copy/paste.




New Feature: Reminder Alarms
If your last entry was for giving baby Tylenol, but you can't remember when to give the next dosage, just set a reminder. This is the one feature the ItzBeen timer had that this app was missing. Now it is totally superior in every way.




As before, this app remains my favorite. Pop Culture Baby has now gotten too old for me to use this app for every feeding and diaper change, but I still use it for important things like medications, doctor appointments, vaccination records, growth, milestones and diaries. I still use it with Pop Culture Preschooler, too. Now that she's a little sassafras, the "Diary" feature comes in handy for capturing all the crazy things she says and does.


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Back in 2006, my friend Michelle walked into my office and asked if I'd heard about this site called Ebates. I had not. She explained the concept to me, and it was at once so simple and so wonderful that I thought for sure it must be a scam: before you go to whatever website you're most likely already going to shop, you go through Ebates first. They will take you to that website, maybe even provide you with some coupon codes first, and you will earn an assigned percentage cash back from Ebates. So basically you're getting paid to do shopping you were already going to do. I thought she was making it up. But she didn't.

I signed up for Ebates completely doubtful of how well it would work, even though my friend had already earned $50 from her weekly Sephora purchases alone. I was afraid I would find myself the subject of many spam emails after Ebates sold my email address, so I signed up with a dedicated email address. After two years of receiving nothing except Ebates emails through that address, I was finally satisfied that my name had not been and never would be sold (as is Ebates' online policy).

In the six years I have been an Ebates member, I've earned $648.93, which has been sent to me every quarter. I did the check option the first two quarters, but later opted for the instant gratification of being paid via PayPal. I could probably earn more, but 70% of my online shopping is through Amazon.com, which is not an Ebates member. I'm guessing it does not need to be.

So what kind of stores can you find on Ebates? Pretty much everything imaginable (except, of course, Amazon). In this year alone, I have earned cashback from iTunes [kicking myself for just discovering iTunes on the Ebates store list this month], Old Navy, Zulily, eBags, Kodak Gallery, Snapfish, Priceline, Walmart, Personal Creations, Expressionery, Build-a-Bear Workshop, Diapers.com, Shari's Berries, StrideRite, Bed Bath and Beyond, Naartjie Kids [a new edition, and not a moment too soon!!], Teavana, Sephora, HP Home [5% back on a new home computer—do that math!], Danskin, JC Penney, ProFlowers, and Victoria's Secret. I've even earned cash back throughout the years for electronics and other items I have purchased online but pick up in the store later that day.

Whenever I have to purchase anything, I look on Ebates for coupon codes and stores that carry what I want or the particular stores I have in mind. For example, when I have to buy new contacts, the first thing I do is check Ebates and comparison shop the different contacts suppliers by both price and cash back. I have now installed the Ebates toolbar on every computer available so that I don't forget to login before making a purchase. Unfortunately for my purchase made via iPad/iPhone, not every store is Ebates-enabled for Safari (sorry, Mac users).

I have referred many friends over the years and have noticed that the best time to sign up for Ebates is when you are pregnant. Cribs, strollers, baby gear... it all adds up quickly. I had one friend sign up the same day she was purchasing all of her twins-to-be's gear, and in one day, she had earned half as much as I had on three years on Ebates [that's what I get for having my registry on Amazon instead of getting 4% cash back through Target].

So how much can you expect to earn on Ebates? Well, that depends on you. Every store carries a different percentage cash back. Magazines.com (a site I have personally never used), one of the highest percentages, is 26% cash back. Walmart.com, one of the lowest percentages, is only 1% back. Some travel sites, like Jet Blue, offer dollar amounts instead of percentages (Jet Blue is $1.50). And then there are things like the Verizon Wireless store on Ebates where you can earn up to $95.00 [I'm thinking Pop Culture Dad would have wanted to know this before he bought me an iPad from Verizon for my birthday. Yes, he uses Ebates, too.]. So where you shop and how much you shop makes a difference. You also get bonuses for referring a friend. And the best part? They get a bonus too ($5 for each of you).

When you think about it, though, does it really matter how much you get back? These a things you are already purchasing. Even the measly one percent from Walmart.com is one percent more than the zero percent you are getting right now.

I realize this reads like an ad for Ebates. It's not. No one at Ebates has contacted me. I'm not getting paid (unless, of course, someone signs up for Ebates through my link, then we both are). I was just chastising a friend this afternoon for making a huge purchase and forgetting to go through Ebates first and thought, "Hey! This would make an excellent subject for this week's 'I'm loving...',".

So, go ahead and sign up. If you're feeling nice or charitable, use my link above, or this one, so we both earn $5. Use a dedicated email address if you're not feeling particularly trustworthy. And go get yourself some cash back in purchases you were already planning to make. You won't be sorry.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad, so please forgive any ducking typos