The Royal Baby Will Be Breastfed. So What?
Despite the fact that Prince George has arrived and we know his gender and name, Royal Baby mania has apparently not subsided in the United States. Up and down Facebook last week, I saw excitement and jubilation over the fact that it has been reported that the Royal Baby will be breastfed. Even though I am a lactivist who breastfed Little Diva for 22 months and is still breastfeeding Super Girl [she is 22 months], I could care less.
BY JOHN STILLWELL/WPA-POOL/GETTY IMAGES
Part of it is that I just have not been overcome with Royal Baby Mania. But the bigger part is that breastfeeding a newborn, especially in a country other than the US, isn't exactly rare. It's like announcing "The Princess [I realize that isn't her official title. Back down] will not abuse Prince George!"
Even in the US, the breastfeeding-at-birth rate is 77%. In the UK, the rate was 81% in 2010 (83% in England, specifically). Basically, the vast majority of babies will be breastfed... initially.
You want to impress me? Tell me, when Prince George is six months old—or better yet, a year old—that Kate is still breastfeeding. I mean, she doesn't have a real job, so it's not like she will be boobytrapped like the rest of us. But Kim Kardashian doesn't have a real job, either, and that didn't stop her from embarking on a 1200-calorie/day diet so that she would return to her pre-baby size not even a month after giving birth. You may recall that she, too, announced she would breastfeed her tragically named child (this despite her previously calling breastfeeding "gross"), and I'm sure she did for the first week—until she found out you can't live on 1200 calories a day and produce enough breast milk. She's already cried to the media about not being able to bond with her baby [shocker!]. Brace yourself for the upcoming reports that her milk dried up, and she has no idea why.
But I digress...
As with nearly every industrialized country, the rates of breastfeeding drop off dramatically after six weeks. In a recent report from UNCF:
• Across the UK, at three months, the number of mothers breastfeeding exclusively was 17% (up from 13% in 2005) and at four months, it was 12% (up from 7% in 2005). However, exclusive breastfeeding at six months remains at around 1%.So while I think it's great that Prince George won't fall into the 17% of British newborns who is denied breast milk from Day One, I'm not the least bit impressed by Kate doing the norm. If she's still going strong in six months, I will celebrate then. But if she Kardashians Out, don't make me say "I told you so."
• Rates of ‘any breastfeeding’ showed a rise. At six weeks, the number of women breastfeeding at all was 48% in 2005 and 55% in 2010, while at six months they were 25% in 2005 and 34% in 2010.
Why, Yes, I AM Still Nursing. [blank] You For "Asking"
No matter how old I get, I will never understand why the same people who applaud you when pregnant for your decision to nurse ("That's great! It is what is best for the baby after all!") always seem surprised, perplexed, and sometimes a little disturbed when you are nursing past the six-month mark. I am, of course, referring to relatives, childless friends, and other mommy friends who either never nursed or never did it very long ("very long" being a few months). This clearly does not apply to online mommy friends, because, as anyone who has spent any time on mommy message boards knows, the vibe there is generally pro-boobs. The real world needs to get on par with the cyber world.
I am tired of sounding like a broken record:
–"Actually, the World Health Organization and the American Academy of Pediatrics both recommend breastfeeding for a bare minimum of six months and even for two years or more."
–"Well, I nursed my oldest daughter until she was 22 months old, so, you see, no, I don't think nine months is too long."
– "Yes, she has teeth. She has had teeth since she was four months old. A baby having teeth is a stupid weaning standard."
–"What do you mean, you should stop nursing when a baby can ask for it? She learned to pull at my shirt when she was a couple of weeks old. Isn't that technically asking? My oldest could sign for milk at four months. If I had a child who was deaf/mute, then you would be okay if I nursed him/her until she was 30, since s/he could never talk and ask for milk? Oh. No? So just a double standard then for what you consider 'asking'?"
Can we talk about the teeth thing for a minute?
Why am I constantly running into moms who practically brag to me about how they stopped nursing as soon as their baby cut a tooth? Do they think I'm sitting there nodding in understanding as I nurse my little piranha-in-training? Every single time someone tells me this, it is a woman whose baby has barely a tooth poking through. Pop Culture Baby has seven (vey sharp and strong) teeth, and we are still nursing. Clearly, I am the wrong audience for empathy. Yes, getting bit sucks. But the presence of teeth is not the standard for weaning. You will not find a single medical journal that says this. Many babies have teeth as early as four months. A few babies are even born with teeth. You can always teach a breastfeeding child not to bite, and once they get used to those new teeth, they generally don't bite anyway [except those circumstances where your baby thinks s/he is being funny and bites you on purpose... But I digress]. Even ignoring all that, if someone wants to justify to herself that weaning was appropriate because her child has teeth, then that's her business; but for the love of Pete, women!! Please stop bragging to me about it! I don't feel the bonds of sisterhood or empathy/sympathy over these revelations. I just feel sad. Please save these conversations for a different audience—perhaps that lady over there in a corner nodding and mouthing "Me too."
Also, when did formula become the norm? No, really. I get that using formula in the 1970s was that decade's equivalent of the '60s bra burning. Women had the freedom to work and weren't "chained" to their babies all day. But formula has never been and never will be breast milk. And times have a'changed. Breast pumps are readily accessible and affordable these days, and that is a huge part of why breastfeeding has made a resurgence of sorts. But most importantly, the science just keeps coming out in favor of breastfeeding. Formula, no matter what they add to it, will never compete. Ever. I totally get circumstances in which the health risks to mother outweigh the benefits of breastmilk to babies [lactivist though I am, I would much rather a bipolar or schizophrenic mom be on her meds; same for mothers with certain bone, heart or neurological diseases]. I also understand that some women don't produce enough milk or any at all [though it appears that number is certainly much smaller than the number of women who claim they can't—some of whom give up at the colostrum stage or without trying things to boost their milk like eating oatmeal, taking supplements, drinking a lot of water, pumping more often, etc.]. And while the AAP argues:
(emphasis added), I will grant you that for many people, the decision to use formula is a lifestyle choice. Whatever.
The bottom line is, I am doing what is healthy and recommended. Breastfeeding my now-10 month old child is not an unusual thing, nor should it be. This is the default. The medical community backs me up. If I am able to breastfeeding into the next year, you are darn tooting' that I will. By asking me, "OMG, are you still nursing??" with that inflection in your voice and look of disapproval, you are not shaming me. You are only making yourself look and sound foolish.
/rant
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
I am tired of sounding like a broken record:
–"Actually, the World Health Organization and the American Academy of Pediatrics both recommend breastfeeding for a bare minimum of six months and even for two years or more."
–"Well, I nursed my oldest daughter until she was 22 months old, so, you see, no, I don't think nine months is too long."
– "Yes, she has teeth. She has had teeth since she was four months old. A baby having teeth is a stupid weaning standard."
–"What do you mean, you should stop nursing when a baby can ask for it? She learned to pull at my shirt when she was a couple of weeks old. Isn't that technically asking? My oldest could sign for milk at four months. If I had a child who was deaf/mute, then you would be okay if I nursed him/her until she was 30, since s/he could never talk and ask for milk? Oh. No? So just a double standard then for what you consider 'asking'?"
Can we talk about the teeth thing for a minute?
Why am I constantly running into moms who practically brag to me about how they stopped nursing as soon as their baby cut a tooth? Do they think I'm sitting there nodding in understanding as I nurse my little piranha-in-training? Every single time someone tells me this, it is a woman whose baby has barely a tooth poking through. Pop Culture Baby has seven (vey sharp and strong) teeth, and we are still nursing. Clearly, I am the wrong audience for empathy. Yes, getting bit sucks. But the presence of teeth is not the standard for weaning. You will not find a single medical journal that says this. Many babies have teeth as early as four months. A few babies are even born with teeth. You can always teach a breastfeeding child not to bite, and once they get used to those new teeth, they generally don't bite anyway [except those circumstances where your baby thinks s/he is being funny and bites you on purpose... But I digress]. Even ignoring all that, if someone wants to justify to herself that weaning was appropriate because her child has teeth, then that's her business; but for the love of Pete, women!! Please stop bragging to me about it! I don't feel the bonds of sisterhood or empathy/sympathy over these revelations. I just feel sad. Please save these conversations for a different audience—perhaps that lady over there in a corner nodding and mouthing "Me too."
Also, when did formula become the norm? No, really. I get that using formula in the 1970s was that decade's equivalent of the '60s bra burning. Women had the freedom to work and weren't "chained" to their babies all day. But formula has never been and never will be breast milk. And times have a'changed. Breast pumps are readily accessible and affordable these days, and that is a huge part of why breastfeeding has made a resurgence of sorts. But most importantly, the science just keeps coming out in favor of breastfeeding. Formula, no matter what they add to it, will never compete. Ever. I totally get circumstances in which the health risks to mother outweigh the benefits of breastmilk to babies [lactivist though I am, I would much rather a bipolar or schizophrenic mom be on her meds; same for mothers with certain bone, heart or neurological diseases]. I also understand that some women don't produce enough milk or any at all [though it appears that number is certainly much smaller than the number of women who claim they can't—some of whom give up at the colostrum stage or without trying things to boost their milk like eating oatmeal, taking supplements, drinking a lot of water, pumping more often, etc.]. And while the AAP argues:
Breastfeeding and human milk are the normative standards for infant feeding and nutrition. Given the documented short- and long-term medical and neurodevelopmental advantages of breastfeeding, infant nutrition should be considered a public health issue and not only a lifestyle choice.
(emphasis added), I will grant you that for many people, the decision to use formula is a lifestyle choice. Whatever.
The bottom line is, I am doing what is healthy and recommended. Breastfeeding my now-10 month old child is not an unusual thing, nor should it be. This is the default. The medical community backs me up. If I am able to breastfeeding into the next year, you are darn tooting' that I will. By asking me, "OMG, are you still nursing??" with that inflection in your voice and look of disapproval, you are not shaming me. You are only making yourself look and sound foolish.
/rant
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
A Teachable Moment Missed (Real Housewives of Atlanta)
Anyone who knows me or followed my old blog on What to Expect should know that I'm a wee bit of a lactivist. I fully support a woman exercising her right to breastfeed in public or private, her baby's right to eat, and companies making it easier for women to breastfeed and/or pump. I also know when to choose my battles. For example, as much as I loathe the idea of nursing in a sweaty locker room or bathroom, I sucked it up and did so voluntarily when at my in law's country club over the holidays. I also would not nurse sans cover in someone else's house without their permission.
I love breastfeeding. I think every mother should at least try it. But I understand why some don't or can't. This doesn't change the fact that it is what is best for baby. And it doesn't change the fact that, for some inexplicable reason, some people still don't understand the concept that breastfeeding has been around for centuries and that formula is a new construct. Yes, breast milk is the default. It has always been here. Yet for some reason, we still need to "normalize" breastfeeding.
This is why an episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta I recently watched disturbed me so much.
Okay. Let's be honest, many episodes of RHOA are disturbing for many reasons. MANY. (Um... Ridickulous, anyone? << WARNING: NSFW) But it's not often that I find on that show an actual opportunity for a teachable moment. It's sad that the one time I found it, I was let down. I guess that's what I get for actually having hopes and standards for anything that comes out of the Real Housewives franchise.
On this particular episode, a very pregnant Kim Zolciak is talking to her daughter Brielle about breastfeeding the new baby after he is born. Kim, a former L&D nurse, starts out really well by telling her daughter how she's going to feed the baby breast milk because that's what's best for babies. Then her daughter, a typical ignorant teenager who hasn't had to be exposed to babies and nursing, gives a pretty classic and expected response, "Ew, gross." Now this would have been the perfect time for Kim to explain to her daughter that there's nothing gross about breastfeeding at all. Instead, how does Kim react? "Yeah, I know. Right?". Kim does make a little bit of recovery by telling her daughter how she was breastfed and so was her little sister. However, I just can't get past the "Yeah, I know. Right?".
That is the wrong response by any person, let alone a former nurse, in relation to breastfeeding. There is nothing gross about it. It is simply feeding your child the way nature intended. Period. I have read ignorant comments before where people have associated breastfeeding with other natural bodily functions, such as defecating, or horrible things like child molestation. It is none of these things. In reference to the comparisons of breast milk and toilet functions, would you allow someone to put a Ziploc bag of urine or BM on your dinner table? Of course not. Yet, breast milk in a bottle sitting on your table is perfectly acceptable to everyone. This alone underscores (for those too stupid or dim to see it any other way) the difference between the two functions. With respect to the disgusting and idiotic child abuse allegations, breastfeeding is not child molestation any more than changing your baby's diaper is.
For those who have issues about nursing in public, those are truly their own issues. The primary function of breasts are to feed children. Yes, they have a secondary function related to sex; but guess what? So does your mouth. Until there's a big push for people covering up their mouths while eating in public, lest some man conjure up inappropriate images of the things a woman could do to him with her mouth, I don't want to hear any complaint about mothers breastfeeding in public. And until we revert to Victorian culture where women are covered up from the neck down, don't even try to feed me lines about breastfeeding women with their breasts "hanging out" [something, BTW, I have never seen].
The bottom line is, Kim messed up big time by missing this teachable moment. As a former L&D nurse and someone who knows the importance of breast milk enough to have nursed three children [and risk the lives of her two oldest trying to pump while driving], she was in a perfect position to teach her oldest daughter that breastfeeding is not in any way, shape or form, gross. Instead, she acted pretty much how I should expect a Real Housewife. Shame.
I love breastfeeding. I think every mother should at least try it. But I understand why some don't or can't. This doesn't change the fact that it is what is best for baby. And it doesn't change the fact that, for some inexplicable reason, some people still don't understand the concept that breastfeeding has been around for centuries and that formula is a new construct. Yes, breast milk is the default. It has always been here. Yet for some reason, we still need to "normalize" breastfeeding.
This is why an episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta I recently watched disturbed me so much.
Okay. Let's be honest, many episodes of RHOA are disturbing for many reasons. MANY. (Um... Ridickulous, anyone? << WARNING: NSFW) But it's not often that I find on that show an actual opportunity for a teachable moment. It's sad that the one time I found it, I was let down. I guess that's what I get for actually having hopes and standards for anything that comes out of the Real Housewives franchise.
On this particular episode, a very pregnant Kim Zolciak is talking to her daughter Brielle about breastfeeding the new baby after he is born. Kim, a former L&D nurse, starts out really well by telling her daughter how she's going to feed the baby breast milk because that's what's best for babies. Then her daughter, a typical ignorant teenager who hasn't had to be exposed to babies and nursing, gives a pretty classic and expected response, "Ew, gross." Now this would have been the perfect time for Kim to explain to her daughter that there's nothing gross about breastfeeding at all. Instead, how does Kim react? "Yeah, I know. Right?". Kim does make a little bit of recovery by telling her daughter how she was breastfed and so was her little sister. However, I just can't get past the "Yeah, I know. Right?".
 |
| Kim talks to her daughter, Brielle, about breastfeeding |
That is the wrong response by any person, let alone a former nurse, in relation to breastfeeding. There is nothing gross about it. It is simply feeding your child the way nature intended. Period. I have read ignorant comments before where people have associated breastfeeding with other natural bodily functions, such as defecating, or horrible things like child molestation. It is none of these things. In reference to the comparisons of breast milk and toilet functions, would you allow someone to put a Ziploc bag of urine or BM on your dinner table? Of course not. Yet, breast milk in a bottle sitting on your table is perfectly acceptable to everyone. This alone underscores (for those too stupid or dim to see it any other way) the difference between the two functions. With respect to the disgusting and idiotic child abuse allegations, breastfeeding is not child molestation any more than changing your baby's diaper is.
For those who have issues about nursing in public, those are truly their own issues. The primary function of breasts are to feed children. Yes, they have a secondary function related to sex; but guess what? So does your mouth. Until there's a big push for people covering up their mouths while eating in public, lest some man conjure up inappropriate images of the things a woman could do to him with her mouth, I don't want to hear any complaint about mothers breastfeeding in public. And until we revert to Victorian culture where women are covered up from the neck down, don't even try to feed me lines about breastfeeding women with their breasts "hanging out" [something, BTW, I have never seen].
The bottom line is, Kim messed up big time by missing this teachable moment. As a former L&D nurse and someone who knows the importance of breast milk enough to have nursed three children [and risk the lives of her two oldest trying to pump while driving], she was in a perfect position to teach her oldest daughter that breastfeeding is not in any way, shape or form, gross. Instead, she acted pretty much how I should expect a Real Housewife. Shame.
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