I am SO not the Early Adopter Type (Anymore)

I used to be the ultimate techno geek. If I didn't buy a product first, I darn sure knew about it before anyone in my circle. And then… life happened (I got one, I guess?). Kids happened. And then iPhone happened. 

I was told very early in my Apple indoctrination induction to never buy the first generation of Apple anything; always give it a couple of months for them to fix the bugs. Every iPhone and iOS release has proven why this rule exists. Apple gets a little twitchy with the releases. Things slip through the cracks—major things (Apple Maps, anyone??). 

And iPhones are expensive, yo. When you have two kids and a whole grownup existence to support, $400 every year [which, really, is a conservative estimate, because if you're buying a new phone every year, you're paying full price, so it's more like $800 every year] for a phone seems a little crazy unless you just have money to burn. 

So once I switched from a non-Apple existence, I never again felt the need to be the first to have something new. Good thing, too, because I'm not the type to camp out for anything, let alone a phone.

I held on to my 3S until the iOS upgrades became unsupportable. Even then, I didn't switch to a 4 until I switched cell phone providers and didn't have a choice (3S wasn't an option). I didn't switch to a 4S until my trust old 4 flew out of my hands on an escalator and landed two stories below me, face down. That also wasn't my choice. Some 17-year old "Genius" forced me into it after he sarcastically informed me that they didn't even carry refurbished 4s anymore, so I was going to have to take a 4S. I skipped the 5, the 5S, and the 5C. 

In fact, the main reason I decided to buy a 6 is because my trusty old 4S wasn't so trusty anymore. Somewhere around iOS 7.0.whatever, it decided that it would be fun to freeze crash every hour or so. And then that hour became 30 minutes. Then 10. This should have turned me off Apple completely. Instead, it made me crave a new phone. 

Indoctrination. Complete. 

Even with my constantly crashing phone, I didn't camp out or pre-order an iPhone 6. I (semi-)patiently waited a couple of weeks until Verizon gave me those magic words, "Eligible for an Upgrade." I waited another week or so for the phone to come off backorder and ship (two weeks earlier than projected). 

And now I have my phone. And I love it. But I also remember another reason I don't like iPhones within the first couple of months of release. 


This baby needs protecting. And, so far, the contenders aren't cutting it.
If that "phone flying off an escalator" reference wasn't a hint to you, I'm kind of a klutz. Yes, I may be only on my fourth or fifth model of an iPhone, but this is easily my 20th iPhone. I'm not really sure how long my record is for keeping an iPhone without submerging it, breaking it, or having my screen shatter to bits; but I know that record is held by my last phone, which was lovingly protected by a Lifeproof case [suggested by the "Genius" who was no doubt looking at my replacement history when he made the suggestion]. My other phones weren't case-less; their cases simply failed them. Miserably. 

And here I am with a brand new phone, and Lifeproof can't even give me an estimate of when is making me wait another month before I can breathe a sigh of relief. There's not even a waiting list; just a "leave your email address here if you want us to notify you when we are close to maybe someday in the near future releasing a case." Sigh. 

I have had my new phone for one week, and I have tried out three cases. Three. All bought after hours and hours of wasting time I don't have research. 

I hate them all. And I hate every stupid blog, article, or Amazon reviewer that led me to them.

There isn't a single one of these cases that gives me the confidence that if I drop my phone while exiting the car, my phone will survive the concrete. I have already dropped my phone four times (FOUR) and consider myself lucky that each drop has been on laminate rather than tile or pavement. 

I'm a nervous wreck. I'm on edge. Even Pop Culture Dad has said, while staring down Case #1, "That thing will be broken by end of the month." And he's probably right. 

There is no room for error here. If this phone breaks, I'm looking at the end of a wait list to get a replacement. And then there's *gulp* the money. 

Hmm... Maybe I should just get a Jitterbug?

Case #3: Pretty and pretty pointless. No screen protection whatsoever. And it doubled the weight of my phone. Doubled. Yeah... That's not going to make me drop it faster. 

Case #2: I don't even know WTF this is. It's practically paper. 

Case #2: Sadly, I probably never should have abandoned my first "love" [okay, not really. Not fan-girling this one either]. It also lacks screen protection, but at least it was solid, leather, and weighs nothing.
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